She Wrote a Book About Brothers
by vintagecowgirl101
Summary: "Make your daddy glad to have had such a lad." Nice war-time propaganda tune, isn't it? But did they ever consider that my mother was killed and my father turned vicious with his liquor? When I left my father passed out on the couch, he never knew I left to go off to war. I'm a combat nurse of Easy Company, and I'm good at finding the hope in lonely places. Unique double O/C story!
1. At First

**-SHE WROTE A BOOK ABOUT BROTHERS-**

**Hey there! New Band of Brothers story- I am SO excited to write this! Don't worry; I'm still working on The Heart of a Soldier!**

**Please let me know what you think! **

Chapter One: At First

"Whatcha working on there?" I bit down on my eraser with the sickening sweetness of his words.

I timidly looked up from my work, "Arithmetic."

He filled the glass with golden bitterness, the glass of the bottle clinking on contact, "Here, let me help you."

My fingers dug into the fabric of my dress, fear rising in my core, "It's okay… really. I'm nearly done anyway." I tried desperately to keep my words level. Standing abruptly I snatched up the white papers and my book satchel. A rough hand grasped my bruised arm.

"Let… me… help… you." His slurred words viciously warned. My loaned textbook slapped shut, the noise cracking through the filthy kitchen. I was trying to keep the house up after mama died, it was just so hard. His grip tightened as I turned to leave; I let out a familiar gasp.

"Let go of me!" I struggled, begging for his drunken hold to loosen. My professors were beginning to worry. Disregarding my pleas, his fingers began ripping my hair by the roots. In case you were wondering, this is what hell is like. My pale and bony fingers met with his scraggly cheek. His brought his hand to hold the pain, releasing me.

"Hey, where are you going, young lady? I _am _your father!" His voice boomed, and I stubbornly snorted.

Gathering up every ounce of courage I had left, I got inches from his shaking face, "You were my father… once. Ever since mama died, I don't even know you."

His lips quivered as he understood the low blow. I turned on my heel and began trotting up the warped floorboards leading to my bedroom. Narrowing my eyes, I bitterly answered his question, "I'm leaving. _Hopefully _I'll get killed in this damn war." My father opened his mouth to protest but I slipped through the doorway before his befuddled mind could work.

My room was a mess, and I knew mother would scold me for its condition. I looked up to the crumbling ceiling, "Why did you leave me?" I whispered to her up in heaven. A duffle bag lay limp on my unmade bed, rolled pairs of my father's socks beside it. Shoving them in, I then tore off my shirt. My ribs protruded profusely, the lack of father's work affecting me. Grunting, I wrapped bandages around my bust to hide the smallest trace of femininity. Satisfied, I pulled on one of my father's t-shirts. The thin cotton pocket stitched to the front was stained of Tobacco. I laced up a pair of his old steel toed boots and shoved my mass of hair under my cap.

Searching for dirt to hide my high cheekbones, I stomped over to my window. Heavy rain drops pelted the thin sheets of glass. In the sill I discovered an inch of dirt that had smuggled its way in. Slapping it against my sorry face, I looked myself up and down once more. It was time.

Struggling to get the duffle bag over my shoulder, I quietly snuck down the stairs. He was pathetically sprawled on the ancient couch, an empty booze bottle in his clutches. My eyes watched him solemnly, remembering a day when he was my favorite person in the world. After the tragic car accident that had killed mama and Billy, he would eternally blame himself. I survived with a mere broken wrist, papa had a few fractured ribs… but mama and my baby brother were forced into the ground.

Blinking my eyes shut, I didn't want to remember him this way. It wasn't the father I knew and loved. My delicate fingers wrapped around the tarnished door knob, the mist of the Oklahoma downpour meeting with my face. My stolen boots crunched against the broken shards of tinted bottles that littered our front yard. Standing back a few yards from the shack, I tried to remember when it was a beautiful _home_. Now the windows were broken with faded curtains waving ghostly in the wind. Roof shingles sprawled on the gray wood, some only managed to fall halfway. The patch that was once filled with bright blooming flowers was now littered with cigarette butts.

I needed to escape this, and fast. I stomped down my foot and turned to allow the force of the free world to hit me. Moments later, I practically found myself running. Four sets of feet nipped at my heels, but my blank mind failed to notice.

"Husker! Husker, no!" Johnny came limping up to grasp his canine's collar. I halted and turned to face my dearest friend.

I snatched up a long stick and threw it as far as my arms would allow. Husker heavily bounded away, leaving me to wallow in Johnny's protective questions. He stepped forward, holding me at arm's length.

His face wrinkled with a wince, "Johnny? Johnny, is your leg bother you?"

"That doesn't matter, Lottie," he adjusted his glasses, frustration lining his face. "Where are you going looking like that?"

I playfully placed my hand on my hidden hip, "It's none of your business, John Peterson."

"Yes it is, Loretta Roselle!"

I unwillingly caved in, "I'm helping with the war."

He snorted, "Yea, as a nurse or something?"

"A soldier." I turned on my heel again, cutting off of the driveway. I tore some wildflowers from the earth, bunching them into a pathetic bouquet. Where my feet had beaten so many times was a narrow trail that lead to my mother and brother's eternal resting place.

Johnny panted behind me, his crippled body forcing him to take it with an easy pace. I crumpled to the ground, sorrow overcoming me.

"Lottie- what the hell are you think-" My sobs had silenced his protest. As I rest the flowers above their sleeping heads, I felt Johnny's soft hand rub my shaking back. Johnny and I had been best friends ever since the day we met.

I was fishing by myself in a murky old pond since I had convinced mama and papa I was responsible enough to go alone. It was great fishing day, the small and wiggly trout couldn't eat my bait fast enough. Suddenly, a limping young boy sat on a rock practically two feet beside me. He too, began catching a fair amount of fish. My lower lip pouted as I saw him catch a large one.

"Hey! Why don't you go find your own spot to fish?" He ran a string through the fish's gasping mouth, and then promptly tossed it in the brown water. "I was here first!"

"How old are you?" He calmly responded.

"I am eight and three quarters."

"Well then, since I am nine years of age, I was _clearly _on this earth first." I remember wanting to beat him to a pulp. I couldn't understand his adult words.

Defeated, I began packing up my fishy smelling gear, "Boy, why do you limp like you do?" I knew mama would scold me for being so forward, but my naïve curiosity was eating me away.

"I was born with poor bone structure. The doctors say I will never heal," his young words were filled with sorrow. To that day, I had been Johnny's best friend. His whole life he had been teased, until our school mates got in my way. I'm telling you, I used to be filled with spirit. Even the husky boy bullies were frightened of me. Those were the days.

I pulled myself from my reminiscing trance and back into my bitter reality, "I'm leaving for you, Johnny. I know how bad you've wanted to join. I'm doing this for myself, and for you."

He tore his eyes from his second mother's grave, "Lottie, did your father give you something to drink?"

My lips curved as he tried to lighten the tense mood, "No, John boy. Not this time; I'm being serious."

"Christ, you don't have to do that. You don't deserve that," I felt him grip my shoulder.

My legs scolded me as I stood, a zinging sensation rippling through. I sucked it up though, knowing Johnny was off much worse.

"I need to get away from my father. The military is my only escape. Plus, our country needs everybody they can get."

"So, you are going as a nurse?"

I sighed, "No, I'm going as a soldier."

"This is madness, Lottie-" his words came to a stop as I gently kissed his cheek. It would possibly be the last time I would see my best friend, and I wanted it to be memorable… for both of us. Tearing up again, I hugged him firmly to hold in our emotions. Something pawed impatiently at my leg, forcing us to part.

"Goodbye to you too, Husker," I happily patted the massive head of Johnny's dog, then kissed his wet black nose. I rose again; looking from my beloved's graves to Johnny's concerned eyes.

"Write me?" I slung my pack over my shoulder.

"Of course," he squeezed my hand. "I'll keep an eye on your father as well."

I felt the awkward silence hang in the humid air, "Bye, Johnny. Never forget." We embraced once more, and I took in his unique scent. All my life Johnny's smell had comforted me in my darkest hour, and I knew it wouldn't be there in war.

I turned on her heel, and began cutting through the tall green grass. Winged grasshopper's snapped around my legs, bringing a sickening feeling in my stomach. I felt Johnny's eyes upon me and I wiped away hot tears forming in my deep brown eyes. I was on my way to a new life and there was no denying that.

B.o.B.

Annoying sweat poured down the crease of my back as I stood impatiently in the enlistment line. A stubby man in a yellow sweater childishly picked his nose, making me dramatically roll my eyes. The guy behind me was too close for comfort and it was everything in my power not to sock him in the jaw. As the line shortened, I felt his heavy breath on my neck.

"NEXT!" Nobody stood ahead of me, so I scurried to the swiveling chair.

"Good day, mister," I tried on my man voice on for size, making the broad shouldered man on the opposite side of the desk raise his bushy eyebrows.

"Name?" Ah, fuck! I yelled to myself, not thinking of a male name earlier.

I fumbled pathetically, "Roselle, Loren Roselle." He raised his eyebrows once more, and I feared he had found me out.

"Ah, got stuck with a pansy last name I see, sonny?"

I let out a forced laugh, "Yup, those damn ancestors!" I swung my fisted arms across my torso, snapping my fingers. Hopefully this would earn me a chuckle.

The intimidating man let out a hearty laugh. YES!

"So, you have any personal preference, sonny?"

"Ah, yes… actually. I would like to be in the Airborne, sir." He leaned forward as if he had a dire secret to spill.

"Wanna be with the _best _I see?" His hoarse voice made me shrivel inside.

I cleared my throat," Yes, sir. I would, sir." He began scribbling down words on a sheet before him, loudly checking off boxes. I nervously wrung my hands together, my heart pounding frantically. His twisted in his seat, handing the man beside a grinding machine my papers.

He typed in five lines of information, and then slammed down the top half. With my admiring eyes wide, I watched as he thread ball covered chain through two sheets of silver.

"You will be sent to Camp Toccoa in Georgia for your training. Good luck, sonny, you're doing your country proud."

"Thank you, sir." His massive fingers crushed my frail and thin hand, making it hard not to wince. My dog tags were still hot from the weight of the pounding machine as the tall man held them out for me to take. I slipped them over my head and tucked them into my shirt to keep them quiet.

I had made it. I, a woman, had made it into the United States Airborne. And let me tell you, it was the most victorious feeling I had ever experienced.

**Thank you so much for reading! **


	2. Impossible to Hide

**Whoa, it feels so weird to be on 'Currahee' again. Speaking of Currahee, I just recently got a horse… and I named him Currahee. The word means so much to me.**

**I just started High School… and I hate it. Actually, I'm miserable. I write 'Hang Tough' on my hand every day, and I can now say I survived my first week! Vat69 for everybody! :D Well, it's not summer anymore, and unfortunately schoolwork comes before updating. :/ I **_**can**_** promise an update every weekend though!**

**Thank you for the early support- much appreciated! **

Chapter Two: Impossible to Hide

Glare beamed off of the worn photograph I held in my trembling hands. It was a weathered photo of Johnny kneeling beside Husker, sitting under 'our' tree with a big smile spread across his freckled face. I already missed him. I studied as 'our' branch swooped down, luring my heart back home. The summer days we would sit up there together as innocent children.

Gulping, I stuffed the black and white print back into my shirt pocket. My feet itched to chase down the bus and go home, but inside I _knew _I needed that extra fifty dollars. During the long and tiresome bus ride, I had decided I would send the income to Johnny. He needed it more than me, I had no sure destiny and I was clueless when it came to my future.

Pulling away from my sorrowful reminiscing, I spotted a large black beetle marching up and over the top of my stiff boot. I swung my foot around to ward it off, kicking up a cloud of powdered dirt. I must have looked ridiculous, dancing around on one foot.

"Private? Can I help you?" My body locked up, feeling a set of eyes on me. I cringed as I looked up; realizing I probably blew my secret.

"Can you," my voice sung high pitched. I swallowed hard, adjusting my vocal cords. "Can you direct me to Easy Company?"

The man elbowed his partner that was in the guard house by the entry gate, "Kid doesn't even have an Adam's apple yet…"

I narrowed my piercing green eyes, hearing his low words, "Easy Company, sir?"

He pulled away, thumbing through some papers. He was chuckling to himself. "Name?" he asked dryly.

"Roselle, Loren, sir." The man chuckled louder, his partner turning to hide his smirk. A million rude remarks were floating in my frustrated mind, but I swallowed them down as I planted my feet firmer in the ground.

He waved the yellow page closer then further from his nose, asking his eyes to adjust to the print. "Ah, yes. Roselle… you will be in that barrack over there." He turned and pointed vaguely to a row of light pine buildings.

I scoffed at his stupidity, "Thanks for the help…"

A black waving shadow danced on the gravel ahead of me. I looked up with squinting eyes, spotting the billowing flag towering above me. Timidly, I tucked a stray hair behind my protruding ear. A formation of broad shouldered men stood quietly, their hands balled at their sides. I felt my heart jump; I was so much smaller than them. I would never pass. I could already imagine myself getting shipped back home to miserable Oklahoma.

A bickering summer mosquito annoyingly buzzed in my ear, seeming to chant disheartening words. _Go home, you'll never survive. Go work in the factories. You don't belong here, you're a woman. _I bit down hard on my dry lip, squatting my frail arms carelessly around my head. I knocked off my helmet, my mass of blonde hair falling around my face. My heart thumped as I hastily balled it up and shoved it under the green bowl.

"You _people_, are at the position of _attention_!" A towering dark haired man that to me resembled a giraffe spat out at the men. My lips tightened, praying he didn't see my hair.

He spun around sharply, spitting his venom down at a guy that reminded me of a puppet. Tip toeing, I tried to escape his wrath. I was clueless, but I knew I wasn't cut out for this. My father was kinder than this vicious man.

I dared bend my eyes around the corner of the jeep I was hiding behind, listening with terrified ears. "Thanks to these men and their infractions, all weekend passes are hereby revoked. I could almost hear their hearts grow heavy with disappointment.

"Get into your PT gear… we're running Currahee." A dark-haired man with a wicked smirk trotted to retrieve his bayonet sticking straight up in the Georgia red dirt. He then spun on his heel to follow the rest of the men scrambling into the long barrack. Gathering up every ounce of courage I had, I called after him.

"Hey! Hey, man!" His eyes darted around, searching for my voice. "Is this Easy Company?" I shyly shook my head towards the others, regurgitating the only thing I knew.

"Yea, it is." His raspy voiced stayed level, but I could sense the fury boiling inside him. "Why the fuck you wanna know?"

I could feel my face burn, instantly thinking he knew I was a woman. "Uh, new trooper."

He dramatically rolled his eyes, beginning to leave me. Regardless of his bitter introduction, I trotted behind him with one hand atop my helmet.

A heavy hand grasped my shoulder, making my thoughts flashback. "Who are you, private?" The giraffe guy lashed out at me, sending an uncomfortable shiver down my spine. Every inch of him coursed evil, his words dripping with cruelness.

"Private Roselle, sir. I'm with Easy Company," my voice wavered, and I scolded myself.

He glanced over my shoulder, eyeing something. "Good. Go put on your PT gear… you will run Currahee with everybody else."

I shifted my weight to my other leg, frustrated, "Sir, I'm afraid I don't know what 'PT gear' is."

He tore my duffle bag from my shoulder, making it painfully snap with his force. The towering monster carelessly threw my meager belongings into the air, my father's shirts landing in the red dirt. I outstretched my arm in protest, but swallowed down my words due to fear.

A wad of fabric met with my abdomen, so I quickly brought my arms down to catch it. A pair of navy blue shorts and a thin cotton tee rest in my trembling hands. At that moment I felt sick. I froze with my eyes fixed upon them.

"Go on!" He bellowed, making me scurry away with my tail between my legs.

A wide frameless door stood before me, beckoning me in. Men were tearing off their green shirts and exchanging them for the printed white ones. I had only seen Johnny with a bare chest when we went swimming, and my heart jolted with shock. My innocent eyes begged to be slammed shut, but they watched as a short man bickered to another.

"What you thinkin', Perconte? Blousing your pants…" he tightened the string around his shorts. Another black haired man slid off his trousers, tossing them onto his cot.

The bushy eye browed man angrily pointed to his makeshift bed, "You come here, look at these trousers, get down and _you _tell me if there is a crease on them!"

I shyly looked down at the floorboards, oblivious as to knowing what to do.

"C'mon! PT formation! Let's move, MOVE! Let's go Perconte…" A muscular man energetically clapped his hands together behind me, his shoulder brushing up against mine.

Easy filed out, leaving me and two other men in the housing area. I tightened my hold and clutched the thin clothing to my chest as I began sweating bullets. If I wore these clothes, they would find out my dire secret.

"Private?" He leaned in, searching for my name sewn into the front of my jacket. My heart thumped; petrified he would sense the feminine scent that was naturally on me. "Private Roselle, why are you not in your PT gear?"

The bothersome voice in the back of my rational mind told me to give in, but I refused. "I'm not exactly sure what to do, sir. I _just _arrived here."

He pinched his clothing, gesturing I needed to put mine on. I sheepishly nodded, pretending to understand. He instantly caught on to my little lie, and promptly ripped off my helmet to 'help'. I let out a terrified gasp as my unmanageable hair fell past my shoulders. His golden eyes burned with questions, and my head spun.

"Private White! Get outside!" He bellowed, not taking his eyes from mine. The sweaty and sorry soldier opened his mouth to protest. "Now." He viciously barked, making me tremble in the corner I was huddled in. The kid scrambled out, following after the rest of the rowdy man.

He held his lips together, "What in the name of God are you doing here?"

I looked up at him through my eyelashes- another feminine quality that was impossible to hide. "Sir… I-I… I have to be here."

"You expect me to protect you… don't you?" he folded his arms, lost for words.

My toes curled in my boots, fear making them tingle, "Sir, I _have _to. Please, let me prove myself."

He opened his eyes, considering my begging. "I'll keep your secret… for now. You'll be found out eventually, though."

I nodded slowly with my thanks, unbuttoning the pants that dwarfed my spindly legs. There was not an ounce of fat on me- my father's lack of work had abused my appearance. I slid the risky shorts over my booted feet and then pulled the thin shirt over the binding bandages. Luckily, the pure white did not show through the cotton.

Hurriedly with my heart pacing, I knotted the thick strands on top of my head. I them placed my long cap over the messy bun, hiding my secret. My hair was the only beautiful thing about me, and I absolutely refused to chop it off. It reminded me of my mother and her always classic beauty… I would never willingly lose it.

I jumped out of the high doorway, my head darting around looking for a group of men dressed like me. I spotted them, eyeing them as their sharp shoulder blades tempted me through the shirt. They jumped around, teasing the men nicely dressed ahead. They slapped off their hats similar to mine and trotted off.

My brows furrowed together, my frail body begging me to stop. My lungs screamed, each suck of humid air making my chest burn fiercer. The man I had discovered name was Sobel barked at us. Somewhere in his minuscule brain I figured he thought his harsh words were encouraging us. All it did was make me want to break down and cry.

Sergeant Lipton panted as he jogged beside me, my secret searing his loyal head. I knew he didn't want to tattle, but I knew as well as he did it was the right thing to do. The boots grew heavier and heavier as I trudged up the mountain. At this point, the steep incline made it seem as though I was lifting them a mere centimeter off the dirt.

A guy directly ahead of me stumbled, grasping his leg that had just caught and twisted in a pothole. Helpfully, I reached out to help him back up. A harsh hand slapped against the top of mine, leaving a burning red mark.

"Do _not _help that man!" He barked into my ear, pushing my screaming body forward. I curved my expression upward, looking on to the hobbling man. I felt bad for him, but my own misery drowned out everybody else's.

"What Company is this?" Sobel rounded on the men on the ends of the faltering lines, reciting his bitter questions.

"Easy Company!" I screeched, my dry mouth making undesirable noises.

"What mountain is this!?"

I didn't know the answer, but quickly learned as they bellowed in response, "Currahee!"

"And what does Currahee mean!?"

I wrinkled my face, not understanding his words as my heavy panting drowned out sounds. "We stand alone!"

"How far up, how far down?" I was just plain puzzled now.

Lipton breathed out a defeated answer along with the over men, "Three miles up- three miles down!"

My big green eyes bolted open, shocked by the numbers. I was guaranteed to die… my body couldn't handle the constant stress.

"You got 13 minutes to get to the top and down if you want to serve as paratroopers! HI- HO- SILVER!" He charged like a steaming horse ahead of us, and I tried to swallow. My mouth was so dry, the painful gulp made me cough. The drier coughing made my shaking body shake. My head throbbed as it scolded me. The bothersome mosquito known now as Herbert Sobel put his parched lips up to my crying ear.

"You are a _disgrace _to the United States, Private! You are _weak_! You _do not belong_!" His bitter words convinced me, and my knees made a sickening cracked as they hit the cold, hard ground. My thoughts slipped into an unforgiving blackness, painful memories snapping at my emotions like a furious lion.

B.o.B.

A hand held my small wrists together behind my back, as if I was a criminal or something. My spinning head winced, as the bruises my father had forced upon me protested. My broken body was then thrown carelessly to the ground.

"Colonel, she is a _woman_! A _woman _in my company!" Sobel dog voice barking down at me. Sink ran the tips of his fingers across the top of his mustache. Silence fought against Sobel's burning fury; I could feel his hate crashing down on my bruised back. I hadn't even experienced war, but this is what I imagined it to feel like.

"What?! Don't believe me?!" He grasped my hair that hung tattered across my back and I let out a screeching scream as I was forced to my feet.

"Lieutenant, I refuse to be spoken to this way!" I closed my eyes, not wanting to see the pain that lingered in this room.

I was forced against the door frame of the Colonel's office, my back aching on contact. Sobel straightened out my shoulders, pressing his hands against my upper chest. I wanted to squirm.

"You can smell it… the smell of a woman is unmistakable." A drop of angered sweat ran down his long forehead and collided with his arched eyebrows. The fighting side of my body begged me to spit in his face, but the broken side argued to give in.

I heard a chair get pushed back, footsteps nearing us, "Release her."

He quickly pulled away, leaving my weak body to collapse into the ground. My thin sleeve was caught and I was sustained from falling. It was my other encouraging Lieutenant.

"Sir, permission to speak?"

I felt all of their eyes on me, "Granted."

I was set carefully on the squeaking leather of an inviting couch, and I mentally thanks Winters, "Sir, during Currahee today, Private Roselle was excelling." I would have scoffed, but the moonlight seemed to force a slumber upon me. That Medic must have given me something when he was looking me over…

Sobel did the scoffing for me, "Sure, if you count passing out excelling! She was floundering and stumbling all the way up. The female didn't even make it three quarters!"

A figure sat beside me, resting their hand on my sore thigh, "Private? Private, what is your real name?"

I cracked open a weary eyes, seeing the Colonel's wrinkled and kind face looking down at me. "Loretta, sir." I had missed speaking like a woman.

"Lipton earlier informed me you said you had to be in the Airborne… why is this?" I silently cursed the light haired man. I didn't want to explain. I hated talking about the abuse my wicked father afflicted upon me.

"She couldn't get herself a husband back home, so she had to come here to spread her legs…" Sobel lashed out at me.

I watched as Winters slowly turned his head to face the satisfied Sobel. I winced slightly; worried it would come to blows.

"Leave." Sink warned with a low voice. "Leave now, Sobel. You are not welcome here with a mouth like that."

His voice flew open in protest, "It's only true!" I chuckled, ignoring his remark but instead concentrated on how childish he sounded.

"LEAVE!" Richard and Robert bellowed in unison. As I heard the heavy door securely click shut, my entire body relaxed.

They both turned to me, and I imagined steam shooting from their ears… now I was being the child. "Loretta… why did you come here? Be honest, now." His manly voice reminded me of my father's before it slurred all over the place.

My voice croaked, "To escape, sir."

"To escape what?" Winters asked, urgency in his voice.

I groaned quietly as I sat up, "My father… he is an alcoholic. I came to escape his abuse." The words hit me harder than they did the men. Reality hurts; I had never said the words but only thought them. I scolded myself, hearing they were lost for words.

Suddenly Sink made up his honorable mind, "You may stay. You've proven yourself, miss."

"Hardly," I pressed my luck.

Winters folded his arms, thinking he understood, "As a field nurse, sir?"

"That's right," he kindly smiled down at me again. It was the first time in seemingly an eternity I felt safe.

Before I let the small victory sink it, I had to question everything with my insecurity, "But, sir… I have no medical experience."

The good Colonel nodded in agreement, but the grin still remained, "Easy's Eugene Roe with give you all the information you will need."

I shyly looked up at Winters; he held out an outstretched hand. "Now you go back to the barracks, Roselle… and let me get some damn _sleep_! It's gotta be midnight!" He warmly teased, and my knees cracked as I stood from his couch.

"The men, sir. Will I be with them?" I felt Dick reassuringly squeeze my hand at my naïve questions.

Sink chortled, "No, you will be with Spina and Roe for your housing… the medics." I nodded, thinking I understood.

**I am completely up for suggestions! I want this story to be 'yours' too! Let me know who her love interest should be, or if she should even have one! :D**

**Thank you so much for reading! Have a great week!**


	3. Brothers to a Sister

**I don't want to be like those other stories, and have a guy fall in love with my OC before they even get to England! :p So, I think I have an idea of who I want… and I guarantee it will surprise you!**

**I hope you enjoy!**

Chapter Three: Brothers to a Sister

A stranger's boots clomped at my side, and my eyes curiously cracked open. The blinding afternoon sun made me slam my eyelids shut again. I didn't know whose manly figure was pacing at my side, where I was, or what time it was. My head began throbbing with pressing questions.

"Ah, yo're up." A deep Cajun voice cooed with excitement. I wanted to whine; upset that he had discovered I was awake… all I wanted to do was sleep.

I rubbed my flushed face, swallowing down a groan as I sat upright. "Who are you? Where am I? What time is it?" My eyes dashed around, searching for a meager clock.

He hung a bag of clear liquid at my side, "Roe, Eugene Roe." He then turned and shyly offered me a handshake.

Seizing an opportunity, I grabbed his pale and boney hold and pulled myself up. My head painfully throbbed, making my hand fly up to ease the pain.

"No, lay back down, miss… ya need rest," he gently placed his hand on my shoulder and pushed me back down.

The pain had fully woke me up, and any desires of rest had escaped. "Wait, am I still at Toccoa?"

He smirked, "Yes, unfortunately."

"What's that supposed to me?" I fought, feeling oddly comfortable in his presence.

Roe wrapped up a pair of scissors into the folds of a white towel, "I mean… you're a girl- I mean woman." He curved his lips down into an honest frown. "I just don't think you should be here. It's not safe. One woman up against hundreds of hungry men?"

I held up a protesting finger, "You listen to me." I shocked myself with the forwardness of my sassy words, "You don't know anything about me, Roe. I have to be here…" I sounded like a child, waving my finger in the air.

He folded his arms, "I _do _know you are not physically ready for this. You passed out, miss."

I stubbornly waved my hand at him, resting my head on the uncomfortable pillow. I had to swallow down an uprising smile, content with how good it felt to joke with somebody. Eugene reminded me of Johnny, somehow. Originally I would have thought it would make me homesick, but Eugene made me feel so much better.

The intense throbbing had stopped, and my eyes finally fluttered shut. I slipped into a peaceful darkness with my exhaustion washing away everything. Five minutes later, the peace was shattered when questions of concern abruptly made me sit up.

"Where's Sobel? Where's the rest of the men? What about Sink and Winters? Where will I sleep," I sucked in a breathe, hurried questions flying from my mouth like steam from a train. "Am I field nurse? I don't even know what that means! I have no medical knowledge! Am I still a paratrooper? _What is going on!?_"

Eugene's eyes grew wide as I slapped my hand over my jabbering mouth. I had asked too much; the man was shocked. "Whoa, whoa… slow down!"

I looked around the room like a scared small animal. I was _so _confused. "Gene! Answer me!"

He shyly looked down at the ground, "How did you know I like to be called 'Gene'?"

"I… uh, don't know. Honestly, I don't know anything." I felt my face flush, and I internally scolded myself. Then the hot tears came, and I cursed Mother Nature. "_Please _explain this all to me…"

He circled his lips making 'shush'ing noises, making my throbbing head spin to a slow stop. He sat down next to me on my makeshift cot. Though I had just barely met him and I was so confused, something told me I could trust this man with my life. I eventually would have to.

"Okay, let me see here… The rest of the men are outside doing PT. Yes, you are still a paratrooper but more specifically a field nurse. I will give you all the medical knowledge you need, miss… so no need to worry about that."

I looked up at him, letting his soothing Cajun words sink into my pores. "What time is it?"

He looked down at his small Army issued wristwatch. The second hand was frozen in time, so he held the glass face to his small pink ear. Eugene tapped it with the nub of his fingernail, snapping the object back to life.

"A little past noon, miss."

I abruptly sprung to my feet, my growling stomach instantly scolding me. "Sobel is gonna _kill _me!" I threw my hands in the air, terrified tears forming once again. I was miserable.

Gene stood as well, holding his calming hands out to me, "Relax! Its fine… lay back down. Get sum rest, miss. Ya'll need it."

A stern but soft look captured his sharply angled face as he gestured to the fresh sheets. I stubbornly crossed my arms, determined to go train with the men… that's what I was here for anyway.

"No." I childishly stuck out my tongue and started towards the door that let seeping heat crawl in. Something about Eugene balanced me out, and let the free and young side of me go. I liked it.

He softly grabbed my small shoulder, "Doctor's orders…"

"I'm a doctor now too; I'll make my own orders." I would later shake my head for how forward I was being. It was so rare for me. Once again, I liked it.

Roe furrowed his brows, warning me I was pushing the boundaries. I finally caved in and unwillingly laid back down on the green sheets. I felt his eyes watching me for awhile; seeming to make sure I wasn't faking it.

B.o.B.

"GET UP!" Sobel's bitter words barked, forcing my weary eyes open. He was bending over my face, a droplet of sweat about to cascade off of his nose.

His body shook with anger, "You wanted to be a soldier. Soldiers don't sleep." I felt weak as I sat up on my elbows. Much to my dismay, the salty drop landed on my cheek. I suddenly felt nauseous. This man made me sick.

"Sobel, sir… she needs rest." Eugene pleaded, acting as if he had said this to him before. Herbert slowly tore his eyes from me, glaring harshly to the Cajun medic.

"_No_, she doesn't!" I let out a blood curdling shriek as he yanked my hair from my head. With his force, I was thrown to the ground. My knees let out a sickening crack as they met with the floorboards, and I whimpered like neglected dog. He reminded me so much of my father.

I dared myself to look into his cold heartless eyes. I saw no soul beyond them. "Get UP!" He yanked my locks upward once more, practically forcing me to my feet.

"Sir! Please!" Roe begged, his pale hand outstretched as I was pulled out into the heat. I faintly heard his voice fade out, realizing it was no use to argue with this heartless man. If I had known I would go through abuse here, I never would have left the abuse I had tried to escape.

Their eyes of all mesmerizing colors eyed me as I cried out with each hair being forcibly yanked out. I locked eyes with the same dark haired man that had been so crude to me upon my arrival. My boots kicked up dirt as I was drug along like a stubborn dog on a leash. I would be treated like dog here.

His grip was released, and I mustered out a gasp of relief. "Go on," he shoved my back. "You have thirteen minutes to get to the top and down. _Don't _pass out this time!"

"In full gear, sir?" I croaked, my layers of shirts sticking to my sweating back.

All he did was squint his eyes tighter into a fiercer glare. I felt my heart sink into my boots as I slowly lifted my broken knees into the air. I could feel all of the men's sorrow watching me, and the remainder of my spirit shriveled up.

First, I jogged through the field weaving and winding my way through the many olive drab tents. The American flag waved majestically above me, striking a small spark of hope and encouragement in my heart. Before I even reached the base of the menacing hill, sweat was pooling above my lip and pouring down the crease in my back. I tried to concentrate on the chirping on the Georgian birds. All I could hear with their coos was 'you're going to die'. I now had a new description of hell, and Sobel was its ruthless leader.

Taking my mind off of their caws, I tried to pace my breathing. Two gasps per heavy footfall. I only concentrated on my panting that drowned out every other sound. In and out when the humid air. My lungs screamed at me; begging me to stop. Gravel crunched under my oversized boots, also singing me a disheartening symphony. This was all my mother's fault, I laughed. She was the one that taught me to hear the songs that everything sang. Oh, how I wanted to jump into her loving arms and cry the night away.

"Good afternoon," a massive voice boomed casually. I jumped out from my skin, stumbling with my next shocked trudging footstep. My boot twisted into a fiery pothole, sending a deep and unbearable pain through my bones. It was the same one that man ahead of me had suffered from.

The red dirt ground neared my face, and in a flash I could imagine my fair skin bloody with bits of gravel trapped under the surface. Two large and muscular arms caught my shoulders, bringing me back to my feet securely. I gasped with the gentle touch… it was so unusable to me now.

The stranger's face was round, and his giant body towered over my small frame. My head spun as I saw two other men jogging at my side. I held my hand over my chest, a jolting shock coursing through me. What were they doing? Did they get in trouble too?

"Floyd," a man released his rifle, offering me his hand. I took it, panting in unison with him. "This here is Shifty, too." He pointed his thumb to his comrade at his left side, and the Virginian gave me a mock salute with two fingers.

I felt my square brows furrow.

"Denver… you can call me Bull." My rescuer smiled weakly down at me, and I felt even more childlike in his presence. I was actually rather scared.

"I guess I should… introduce… myself," I breathed in-between gasps. "Loretta."

Shifty kindly grinned, "It's a pleasure to meet you, Loretta!"

I scolded myself as I felt my sweaty face blush, "Likewise… thank you for catching me, Bull." My tongue caught on his name. I liked the simple sound of it.

"No problem, that coulda been bad." His deep voice roared through the trees like a lion. The massive man was showing no signs of exhaustion; I slightly envied him.

We trudged on a little further, the summit in sight. The wide path now was narrowing, the tight trees making me dizzy. Finally after bouts of prep talks from myself, the slapping stone was finally in sight. Bull trotted a little further ahead of me, Tab and Shifty trailing behind as we formed a single file line.

"Currahee" was engraved into the granite stone, and the metal circle burned my tender fingers as I victoriously slapped it. We all turned our hips and jogged down the mountain.

The wind rushed past my ears, the coolness of my momentum appreciated. The whispies of my hair blew back and the sweat running down my face finally dried. For once, I felt calm and peaceful and I was able to enjoy myself.

"So… uh, why did you fellows run up here with me?" The question sounded so much better in my head.

"Didn't want you to run up this damn thing alone. Nobody should have to," Tab replied, making my pulse relax.

"We're all brothers here… and sisters." Shifty sweetly added, and I caught him staring at me. Bull still said little as he ran at my side. I could feel the warmth he gave off as I felt suddenly cold. The wind had cooled down my body too much, the sudden change making my body ill.

Ignoring the pain raving my body, I congratulated myself for running the entire time. Inside I knew it was because I had these kind soldiers at my side. They gave me a certain kind of spirit.

"You alright there, miss?" Bull's booming voice was filled with genuine concern.

"Wha? Oh yea, I'm fine…" I lied as I began feeling worse and worse. My knees buckled under me, and I crumpled to the ground.

Right before my fearing face hit the red, a familiar hold captured me.

"You're riding the rest…" I was swung onto the giant's back. I felt like I was in one of Grimm's fairytales. I was sick and scared, but still fascinated by his enormousness.

I slowly wrapped my weak arms around his wide neck, feeling the working sweat that made Bull's green collar moist. He smelled strongly. Not a bad strong… but a calming strong. There was a hint of sweat, but it was abnormal scent that lingered off his skin. It seemed to intoxicate me. I fought to keep my eyes open as my chin rested perfectly on his shoulder. Jolting around, I felt like I was riding a horse… a draft horse to be more exact. But all the same, I was calm.

The base of Currahee developed into sight like a photograph, and I felt my heart flip. This great feeling wasn't going to last; it was time to face Sobel again.

I gently squeezed Bull's neck, "I gotta get down… Sobel can't see me."

All three of them heard and they slowed their pace as I slid down Denver's back. My knees and heels screamed as they made contact with the dirt. I swallowed down the vomit arising in my throat, building up the courage to jog once more.

Guilt washed through me. I was such a pansy… a weakling. As I continued to scold myself for not protesting when Bull lifted me up, the ground became level. The harsh incline was gone, and I was able to slow down into a walk. My side ached tremendously, but I stopped whining when I saw Talbert and Shifty with their hands on their knees. I was flattered that they had done this for me. They would never know how much it meant. Bull seemed unaffected as he looked down at me with watchful eyes. I felt incredibly uncomfortable, so I walked away.

I looked up from the groomed green grass beneath me. Sobel was trotting in my direction like a confused horse. I would have snorted, but he neared me too quickly.

"You cheated!" He pointed a long finger in my hot face. I dropped my jaw in shock; how could he even say that? "I saw you cut through the trees!"

"What!?" I spat out, amazed by his stupidity.

"Sir, I was with her… Miss Roselle _ran _those six miles!" Shifty protested, his sweet accent making it hard to take him seriously.

Tab stepped forward, standing loyally at my side, "I can vouch for that, sir."

He didn't take his eyes from me, "What about you, Randleman? She run it?"

"Yes, sir." Bull replied calmly.

Sobel snorted, finally tearing his eyes from mine, "Yup. That's why she's here… to get all you sorry bastards to fall in love with her…"

"Sounds like you talk from experience, sir…" I venomously lashed out, having enough.

A stinging hand slapped across my fair cheek. It hurt… like hell. Instead, I ignored the sharp pain and fired back at him, "Why don't you do that again? I'm used to it… you don't know anything about me."

Vivid memories of my father slapping me lashed through my throbbing head. He was just like my father. I didn't bother saying sir… I didn't have that much respect for the vile creature.

"_You _are no longer needed here. We'll go see Sink… I'm sure he'd love to hear _all _about this." As he turned on his booted heel, he gripped my upper arm forcibly. I winced, the deep bruised that my father afflicted upon me still present.

I looked back at the three men I now admired. They held the same sorrowful look in their eyes as before. But now, it was more intense. This time, they couldn't encourage me and fight. I had gotten myself in way too deep.

**So sorry this chapter took so long to write!**

**Give me the best birthday present by giving me any feedback you have to offer! Please!**

**Thank you so much for taking the time to read! **


	4. Is Shining Optional?

**Hey there! Even though I am a horrible person and failed to update all weekend… here is a new chapter!**

**It probably seems dry and a cookie-cutter OC story- but I assure you it will develop!**

Chapter Four: Is Shining Optional?

"Get the _fuck _off of me!" I struggled to yank my arm from his painful grip. I didn't care if I got kicked out; I wanted to unleash all of my fury on this man.

He wrapped his bony fingers tighter, "No."

"Let GO!" I elbowed him in the side, sending him into a whimpering fit. With the force placed upon his ribs, he finally released me. Shocked with the release, I fell against the outside siding of the barrack that was Sink's office. I looked up as sweat ran into my eyes, and witnessed the fierce hate Sobel had for me. I knew I felt exactly the same way. I turned my head to the right, and saw 'Robert Sink' painted on a board with stencil. I gulped, knowing now that my time here was over.

"IN!" Sobel barked, pointing a shaky finger towards the canvas door. I narrowed my eyes on his long face, storming into the office like a child. The air conditioned air made goose bumps dance along my skin.

He slid his glasses down the ridge of his nose, looking over the lens at us. We both opened our mouths at the same time to explain our stories. Sobel's intimidating voice shadowed mine. I stubbornly crossed my arms to listen to his spewing lies.

"Sir, this foul little being has disobeyed me, sworn, cheated on the mountain and is a disgrace to Easy Company." He stomped his foot, "I will no longer train her, and I demand her deployment away from Camp Toccoa."

Sink slowly nodded his head, dashing his eyes from me to Herbert. I feel like spitting on the floor. "It's a good thing you want her deployed… she _will _be fighting in this war. I don't give a damn whether you want to train her! Loretta is going to stay!"

I swallowed down a smile. Sink believed in me, and I was honored he wanted to give me a chance. "Roselle, I would like to hear your opinion on the matter."

I stood before his desk, my hands pressed to my hips at attention. "Thank you, sir. I was in resting in Roe's room, when I was abruptly ordered to run Currahee within 13 minutes. Wanting to prove myself, I did so… _without cheating_. You may ask Randleman, Talbert and Powers. They ran it with me, without the orders to do so." I chose to not mention the fact I was slapped across the face.  
Sink laced his fingers together, appearing to be pondering a decision. Sobel and I exchanged glares, and my heart paced. Silence hung menacingly in the stuffy air, so I looked out the window. Lieutenant Winters was doing jumping jacks with Easy Company. I internally scoffed. Here was Sobel, scolding me for doing something I was not guilty of. He was so focused on finding our flaws, rather than rewarding our success. Winters was the true leader of Easy Company, and I wished Sink would see it too.

"Loretta… I _do not _appreciate you swearing before your officer. You will later apologize to Mr. Sobel for your dishonorable words." I looked down at the ground, disappointed in myself. "I do know that you ran those six miles, though."

"Herbert? I am disappointed you would treat a lady like you have. Granted, she volunteered to do this; you should not and will not treat her so poorly. You will _also _apologize to Miss Roselle."

"But, sir!" Sobel spoke up, not believing what he had just been ordered to do. I did a small victory cheer inside my boiling head.

"That is an order!" Sink barked, and I felt Sobel lower his head as well.

Sobel turned and faced me, but focused his attention on the wall behind me. Refusing to look into my eyes, he mumbled a sarcastic apology, "Private Roselle, please forgive me for giving impracticable orders…"

I could swear I saw his dark eyes roll as I began to speak, "I accept, and I want to apologize for dishonoring you and Easy. I will work harder to strive, sir."

Let me tell you, it's hard to swallow your pride.

"Good, you two," Sink spoke up. "Loretta, please go join Winters and the rest of the men for PT. Sobel, I need to speak to you."

I felt awkward and uncomfortable with the dryness of his words. Were they going to talk about me? Feeling both of their eyes watch me as I exited, the burning air instantly settled down my goose bumps. I sheepishly walked over to the men doing jumping jacks. Their hair stuck to their face with sweat, rings of moisture lining the collars of their shirts. I felt like panting just looking at them.

"Private Roselle, please join us!" Winters called in between his own gasps for air.

Once they had breathed out the number '45' they immediately turned to look at me. Questions and concerns lined their faces, and I felt my face flush. I caught Bull's eyes, and I felt guilty he had to baby me down the mountain. I made a mental note to thank the goliath man later.

Falling from my trance, I stood in my position to a man that oddly reminded me of a puppet. With thick dark hair and large round glowing eyes, he offered his hand to me as Winters explained the next drill. He was only a few inches taller than me.

"Luz, George Luz."

I shyly took his kind hand and turned my attention to Richard. "50 set ups, boys!"

Winters lowered his built body to the floor, and the rest of the men followed his lead. As I lay flat on my back, my abdomen began begging me to quit now.

I'll admit, I had no experience or training. I faintly remembered as a small girl my dad exercising in the garage, and my momma bringing out a sweating glass of water to him. I remember he held his arms crossed over his chest, with a weight held under his tan skin. Clueless, I began raising and falling with an easy pace. I gained speed, thankful it wasn't difficult.

"Good, Roselle! Looks like you're beatin' the boys!" Winters peered over the mountain of men's legs at me. Then his icy blue eyes grew wide, and my heart pounded as I watched him stand to my side.

"Here," he gently took my wrists away from my stomach. I wanted to gasp, shocked by his gentle touch in comparison to Sobel's. "Hold them behind your neck… like this." He laid down right next to me, sitting up and 'oomph' ing as he fell. I secretly snuck in glances at him fine, freckled face as I sat up.

By 35, my stomach was _screaming _at me to stop. It begged and pleaded with every strain, my back whimpering as goat heads bit through my thin shirt. Every other man was dealing with the same situation, so why should I be complaining. I came here to be treated the same, and my behavior was making that wish difficult.

At 40, I could smell a wicked stench waft off of me. I rolled my eyes, realizing I would never have the flowery scent of a woman ever again. I felt slightly better when I realized that they were all as sweaty and disgusting too. Though our bodies were polar opposites, we had found a mutual bonding… through misery.

B.o.B.

Small rain drops pelted my mock helmet as I flopped between Bull and Luz. Our heavy footsteps fell in perfect rhyme against the slippery gravel. My full tin canteen clinked tauntingly against my full gear. As my finger itched to quietly unscrew the cap, the frogs warned me with their chorus of croaks.

"I'm gonna say something…" he warned through tight teeth.

Luz rolled his eyes, "Ta who?"

"Permission to speak, sir?" Bull bellowed, making my exhausted body jump. His voice would always shock me.

"Permission granted," Winters said behind him.

"Sir, we got nine companies…"

Winters' voice sounded expecting, "Yea we do."

"Sir, how come we're the only company, marching every Friday night, 12 miles, in full pack in the pitch dark?" I wanted to nudge Denver for being so forward.

"Why do you think, Private Randleman?"

Bull spoke through the wad of chew lodged in his teeth, "Lieutenant Sobel hates us, sir."

An eerie silence swept over us, not believing was Bull had just admitted.

"Lieutenant Sobel does not hate Easy Company, Private Randleman… " a sly smile grew on his lips. "He just hates you."

The boys chuckled, and I felt bad for Bull who took the light joke well, "Thank you, suh!"

Denver grinned down at me, and I allowed my lips to curve. The rain was lighting up, but my body was wearing down. I felt as though at any moment I could fall and melt into the gravel road. The dim lights of the training camp were growing into focus, and I felt my heart jolt with the beautiful idea of sleep.

We all merged into formation once the hell known as the Friday night march was over. Sobel paced in front of us, eyeing me the worst. My mouth quivered for a sip from the full sloshing canteen clipped against my hip.

"Lieutenant Winters, I want canteens out of belts with the caps unscrewed."

Winters slid his thumb under the strap of her mock rifle, "Easy Company- canteens out and opened." The tempting cap squeaked as I loosened it.

"On my command, they will pour the contents out on the ground."

"On the CO's order, you will up-end your canteen."

Sobel sneered, "Now, Lieutenant."

"Pour 'em!"

All at once, perfectly good, clean water cascaded out of the metal mouth. I internally rolled my eyes, coming up with snide remarks like, 'The ground is all ready wet enough, Dickweed!' But, I held them in as I felt the sudden urge to piss with the sound of the liquid.

"Who is this!?" Sobel barked, rounding on the broad shouldered soldier with no water spewing from his container. "Christensen! Why is there no water in your canteen? You _drank _from your canteen! Didn't you!?" The poor soul opened his mouth to answer the question, but was rudely cut off. I felt my heart sink for him, even though I barely knew the kid. "Lieutenant Winters? Was this man ordered to _not _drink from his canteen during the Friday night march?"

"He was, sir."

Sobel looked him up and down, "Private Christenson, you have disobeyed a direct order! You will _repeat _all 12 miles of the march immediately!"

"Yes, sir!" Pat's voice wavered, trying to sound brave.

"FALL OUT!"

Patrick marched off behind me, and I snuck a reassuring pat on his back while Sobel wasn't looking. As he scolded Winters for his own faults, I admired how inviting Bull's broad back looked. I struggled to keep my eyes open and swayed in my place. I could imagine my arms wrapped around his chest, face planted on his shoulders… sound asleep.

Winters swallowed down a bitter remark, I could tell. "Go to sleep, boys…"

Swinging my rifle over my shoulder, I searched for a familiar medic. I was quartered with him, and still was struggling to find my way around. After dodging heavy shoulders crashing into mine, I caught sight of the bright moon dancing on the tip of Eugene's black hair.

"Gene!" I called, waving to try and capture his attention. After everybody cleared, Eugene came over to my side and silently led me to our barrack. I could tell he was just as fatigued as I was.

Stomping in, I tried to keep my eyes off of Roe as he peeled off his clothing. Too exhausted, I slid off my helmet and collided with the cot. To an average person, this bouncy strip of canvas would be the most uncomfortable thing in the world. But I was beyond exhausted and the minute my hot face hit the pillow, the world went as black as Eugene's hair.

B.o.B.

"Rise and shine!" Gene's Cajun voice cooed, forcing my glazed over eyes to crack open.

I groaned as I sat up on my elbows, "Please tell me the shining part is optional?"

Roe smiled slightly at my remark, "You do realize you slept in full gear, right?"

I just waved my hand at him, yawning, "I honestly don't give a damn, Gene."

My boots met with the cold floorboards. _Did I even sleep with my boots on, too? _I rubbed my eyes, pretending not to watch as Eugene slipped on his baggy paratrooper pants.

"More training today… you ready?" He glanced over, tightening the buckle on his belt.

My knees cracked as I stood, slapping my suspenders against my chest like an old man, "I guess. Hey, when am I gonna get to learn how to jab morphine into a guy's leg?" I sounded like an excited child, practically bouncing on my toes.

Half of Gene's lips smiled, "_After _breakfast, miss."

I playfully stuck my tongue out, "Breakfast!? Yuck, Gene!"

"What yo got 'gainst breakfast?"

I ran a metal tooth comb through the tangles attached to my head, "It's disgusting!" I winced with each tug.

"Miss, it's the most important meal of the day…"

I pathetically rolled my eyes, "I know, _mother_."

"Plus," he chuckled quietly. "It will give you a chance to meet some of the men."

My heart plummeted. What would they think of me? Would they treat me with respect? Will they make fun of my appearance? Are they rowdy? A million and one questions raced through my foggy head.

"No." I stubbornly crossed my arms against my chest.

He raised his thin black eyebrows, "What do you mean, _no_!?"

"I don't want to meet them… they won't like me!"

Eugene scoffed, "Well, you're going to have to get to know them if you are going to be a field nurse! Now, c'mon!" He hastily but gently snatched up my wrist, pulling me closer to the door. Like a stubborn mule, I dug my heels into the gravel path.

"No!"

He pulled harder, until I could see 'Mess Hall' painted with the help of a stencil above a double door. My heart and stomach did an impressive but sickening trapeze act. I loathe uncertainty. My stomach growled ferociously; loud enough for Gene to hear.

"Hear that? You have to eat something, miss… Doctor's orders!"

I 'hurumph'd, "Didn't we already have this conversation? I make my own orders, Eugene Roe."

"Oh, do ya now?" A familiar voice practically laughed behind me. I whirled around to find a tall, red headed man standing before me. His handsome, dark haired friend was loyally by his side.

My face flushed a violent red, "Oh, sir… I didn't, er, see you there."

He clapped his hand on my shoulder, my sore muscles wincing, "Come for some breakfast?"

"Against my will, sir. Gene here is practically forcing me…" I felt comfortable, but then I noticed how Winters' friends eyes were fixed upon me.

Richard let out a hearty laugh, "You should listen to him, he's right. Shall we go in?"

Both of the dark-haired men scrambled towards the door to open it for me, and I smiled kindly at the nameless man and my new dear friend. Eugene somehow reminded me of Johnny. With that thought, my heart began to ache. It wept more when the inviting aroma of biscuits and gravy wafted into my nose. When my father was himself, he used to make all of the family our favorite meal. It was the only breakfast my stomach would tolerate.

It was only the officers and medic allowed in the mess hall at this hour. As I clumsily strolled down the aisle with Eugene at my side like a security blanket, all of the men watched me intently. Their eyes seemed to ask, 'What the hell is a woman doing here?'

Woman. I scoffed to myself… I was barely 19. To most people I was still considered a girl, and I still felt like a girl. Naïve and scared; timid and afraid. I didn't know what to expect in this big, bad world.

I picked up a tray that was still warm from the scalding dishwater. The man with the slop gave me the same puzzled expression, and I was forced to look down. I was embarrassed by the feminity that I couldn't hide. The sand colored blob landed on my plate with a sickening sound, and I suddenly wasn't hungry again.

I like my coffee as black as Eugene's hair, so I was pleased to see a fresh pot waiting for me. After I had collected silverware, I timidly followed Winters and his friend. Eugene politely pushed my chair in for me, and I felt the officers' watching eyes hatefully staring at my soul. I felt obligated to shift in my seat.

"Loretta, this is my good friend Lewis Nixon."

His dark eyes lit up and his eagerly offered his warm hand, "So you're the young lady that has taken Toccoa by storm?" He happily smiled. "Please, call me Lew."

"Have you coined yourself a nickname yet, Loretta?" Gene cooed in his Cajun accent.

I sheepishly jabbed the fork into the soggy biscuit, "Not yet, but I'm sure the men will come up with something."

Winters and Nixon went off on their own conversation. Something about pissing in Sobel's morning coffee and I found it hard not to giggle. Even the officers hated that sorry excuse for a man.

"You ready for the training today, miss?" Winters swallowed before he spoke. I admired his manners.

"Uh, I hope so. Seems like a pretty big deal… do _you _think I'm ready?" Directly after, I scolded myself for being so forward.

He seemed slightly taken aback, but recovered, "You're one of the finest soldiers, Loretta. Once you figure out where to put your arms during setups!" Eugene chuckled, and Winters playfully winked at me. Lewis raised an eyebrow, clueless as to what we were laughing about.

I could tell I was in the right company… despite my hate for Sobel and his in return.

**Thank you so much for reading!**

**Up next: Training and jumping!**


	5. Pig Guts

**Schoolwork is making it so difficult to write, my friends… :/**

**I hope you enjoy!**

Chapter Five-

I felt myself begin to practically pant as I watched the men struggle through the course. Pursuing one of my many bad habits, I dug my index finger nail into the inside of my thumb. Eventually this worry would force me to dig bloody craters into my own flesh.

"What's your name?" A dark haired man whistled through his dramatic under bite to me.

Watching the next man trip through the square ropes, I held my arms up behind my head, "Private Roselle…"

"No- no. Your _real_ name, you mick!"

Now I was embarrassed, "Loretta."

"Oh… Gonorrhea." He held out his hand before my up turned nose.

"What?" I reluctantly took his hand. "I don't have Gonorrhea!"

He stepped forward, his turn next, "Jeezus! No, that's _my_ name!"

A red haired man tapped my shoulder as Bill took off, noticing the pathetic bewilderment on my face, "That's the sap's nickname… just call 'em Bill. My names Malarkey, Donald." I scratched my ankle with my other foot as a pesky mosquito played Dracula.

It frustrated me I wasn't mingling well. Being around so man attractive men made my head go dizzy, and any common sense I had was long gone. "I'm Loretta… nice to meet you, Don." I smiled small up to him, my stomach flopping as I saw Bill trip on the last rope and hit the ground. I winced for him, but quietly rejoiced when I saw him quickly pull himself together. My taste of happiness flickered away as I discovered my turn was next.

With my elbows waving with each daring hop, I dipped my pointed boot into each square. I'm a short girl, only 5 feet and 2 inches. Actually, I'm painfully short with a shyness to match. The height of the rope came up past my knees, so I had to practically kick myself in the chin to get over. Unlike Bill, I successfully trotted my way through.

Charging forward like an irritated ox, I tumbled through a long square crate. Mimicking Guarnere's every move; I somersaulted out once the light of day was seen at the end. The dry and yellow dead grass stuck to my uniform like feathers to tar. Which was understandable, because at this point I felt like tar. My exhausted body wasn't cut out for this grueling training.

A menacing wall of pine logs towered over me, and without hesitation I flung myself at its sappy shell. There were no bars to hold onto, and only the small wedges in-between each log. I dug my bloody fingertips into the breaks, and struggled to roll over the top. I wasn't blessed with upper body strength like these men. Instead of gracefully lowering myself down, my arms gave up and I hurdled to the ground with a sickening 'thud'.

"You just broke both your legs, Roselle!" Sobel barked at me as I moaned to get up.

Before jogging away, I forced myself to look into his dark eyes, "I'm sorry, sir."

I couldn't beat him, I couldn't fight him. I was letting Herbert Sobel win because I didn't know anything else to do. He nodded curtly, but I saw the amazement in his eyes from my sincere reply.

We cradled our practice rifles to our chests clothed in full gear. I watched nervously, gnawing at my bottom lip as I saw a wave of men crawl through hell and out. Bull Randleman was at my right, and a scrawny but comical man named Warren Muck was at my left. Sobel's skillet sized hand collided with my helmet, slapping me down on my knees.

Air escaped from the mud bubbles when I sunk my sharp elbows into the muck. My round knees and thighs trailed after me, as I emerged under the barbed wire in an Army crawl. My mud caked ears heard Bull let out throaty groans as he struggled to get his enormous body under the barbs.

My nose discovered something putrid smelling, and I let out a gasp when the odor pierced my membranes further.

"What the hell is this!?" Muck asked under his breath.

I waited until they rolled into the deep ditch, the mysterious red balloon like object wiping across their faces, "Them pig guts, boy…" Bull replied.

A wave of nausea washed through me, but I was forced to swallow it down. They were simply preparing us for the atrocities of war. I heard the barbs scratching against my helmet. My rational mind elsewhere, something grazed my face from above. My heart jumped; concerned it was Sobel's fingernail cutting into my once fair skin.

"Ow…" I gasped, bringing my muddy fingertips to my cheekbone. Blood was trickling down my cheek, and I felt layers of my skin peeled back like the bellows of an Accordion. Distracting myself, I fixed my eyes on Bull and Muck's boots as they waved back and forth. Despite my small wound, I trailed directly behind them.

My loose hanging hair seemed to be weighed down with the globs of mud trapped in the curls. Patting my helmet deeper onto my head, I dug my fingers into the earth and tried to pull myself from the mess of barbed wire. Moaning with the weakness that overtook my body I saw a goliath hand lower down in front on my face. It was Bull's.

"Thanks…" I gasped, amazed by his strength that easily brought me to my feet. Our hands held together for seemingly an eternity, his pinky the size on my thumb. When he still wouldn't release me, I looked up to him, questioning.

"What happened?" Denver's normal booming voice now soft and concerned. A shiver galloped down my spine when his thumb grazed over my cheekbone.

One corner of my lips grinned, "It's my fault… got caught in the wire when I wasn't paying attention."

Suddenly the heat that was building in our hold disappeared, and he half heartedly replied. "Don't get distracted anymore, Private."

His heavy boots clomped away against the sun baked ground. I swear could feel my heart shrivel away when he said 'Private'. It was so impersonal, and not what I wanted to hear when I thought he had cared about me. He could have at least said 'Roselle'…

Somebody carelessly bumped into my shoulder as I watch Bull and the rest of the men jog away. I didn't know why his lack of affection bothered me so much, but it did.

Another hand grasped my upper arm, "Ah, there yo are." Eugene's familiar Cajun voice tore me away from my small heartbreak. I turned and looked back at him. "Ready for your first medical session?"

"You know, with that voice of yours… that can sound pretty bad, Roe!" I giggled. All he did was smirk and I felt content in his company. "And yes, I am."

We walked together in the direction of a building with a truck near it. There was a big red cross painted on its windows. I noticed the other men heaving themselves to the ground, panting as they choked down a full canteen of water.

I childishly tugged at Gene's sleeve, "Do _I _get to rest?"

"A nurse never rests, Roselle," he winked down at me, and I stuck my pink tongue out. The cool air of the vented building welcomed the beads of sweat and blood dripping down my face.

"Have a seat," he quickly gestured towards an armchair before he disappeared behind a white sheet hanging from the ceiling. Moments later he emerged, eagerly holding something behind his back. "Now, before we get started… what happened?"

Excitement bubbled as I eyed him, trying to spoil my surprise, "What the hell do you mean, Gene?"

He rolled his dark eyes, "Yo face, what happened?"

I dramatically rolled my eyes in return, "Nothing, just got a scratch in the course."

He sat beside me on the arm of the chair, inching his boney fingers near my face. I wanted to slap it away, but before I could he stood and backed up to a counter- still holding my surprise behind his back.

"Damn you, Gene," I laughed, crossing my arms over my chest.

Menacingly, he neared me once again with a cotton swab and iodine in hand. Resuming his spot high above me, Eugene gently tilted back my head. His thin lips formed an 'O', seeming to wince for me. Apparently it was worse than I thought. The sink faucet behind us squeaked when he dampened the cotton with fresh water. Cutting through the grim of pig blood and my own, Gene tenderly began cleaning the deep abrasion.

"And then some iodine…" he cooed, flipping the bottle on its opposite end with the cotton ball pressed to its lid. Slowly it neared, and I grimaced for the anticipated pain. Delicately he wiped the clear liquid across the gap, it bubbled and fizzed when it made contact with the bacteria. I would have winced, but his dark eyes beckoned me and I was practically forced to look into them. Eugene had handsome and kind eyes, I will admit.

He took his warm hand away from caressing my chin, and I sat up straight, "There… your first lesson."

Confused, I furrowed my brows together, "What do you mean?"

Smiling as he reached back, Eugene pulled out a medium sized black leather duffle bag. "I _mean_… you know how to treat a minor cut now."

It was impossible for me to hide the excited smile growing on my lips. My eyes burned with a glow, realizing now that I was truly becoming a combat nurse of Easy Company. It delighted me further that the kind Eugene Roe was my mentor and that nasty Sobel couldn't do anything about it.

Noticing my shock, he placed the bag in my lap, the pleasing aroma of new leather wafted into both of our noses. "Well, open 'er up!"

I worked at the silver latch, revealing multiple bandages, boxes of morphine, syringes, sulfur power and a small pair of scissors. "Thanks, Gene…" Blinded by my happiness, I wrapped my arms around his neck and embraced him. I knew then that he would always be there to protect me while I was protecting _them_.

He slightly chuckled, returning the favor, "Of course… you'll make a great nurse."

Roe stood to leave me, returning the bottle of iodine to the counter and tossing the bloody swabs in the wastepaper basket. He seemed to speak over his shoulder, "Sobel got promoted, Loretta…"

"What!?" I barked, jumping to my feet as my happiness spiraled down the drain.

Gene seemed to smile in his words, knowing I would be furious, "Calm down!"

"Goddamn it… can I just get a drink or something?" Gene strolled over to the cabinet of medical booze. "… of water?" He breathed a silent 'oh'.

He swung open another cabinet, revealing multiple same sized labeled canisters. "Here," he offered. "Try this. It's a tonic- make ya feel betta."

I raised one eyebrow at him, but he shoved it further to my face. Tearing it from his hand, I gulped down the shocking liquid. It seemed to swim around inside of me.

I wiped the ring away from my lips, "Thanks. I'm gonna go change out of this bloody mess." I playfully chipped away a glop of dried mud off my shoulder.

Pulling back the privacy curtain that Eugene had specially hung up for me, I began peeling off the disgusting layers that clung to my skin. A long mirror watched over me from beside the tinted window of my back room. I lifted the last shirt or many that I wore to hide my feminine curves. They were quickly disappearing and getting replaced with toned muscles and broadening shoulders. My always small waist was now firm and my shoulders forever tense.

I blew out a heavy puff of air from my barely parted lips, embarrassed by the manly shape I was now taking. My face was already bruised and bloody, and I hadn't even tasted war yet. From my footlocker I unfolded a crisp uniform and slipped them over my mass of unmanageable hair. Looking over at my new bag that I knew held scissors, I was dangerously tempted to shear away the honey colored curls. But then I realized it was the only bit of womanhood I could keep.

I then sat down on my cot, and pulled out a scrap of paper and the nub of a pencil. I missed Johnny dearly and I had wanted to write him. Though I should be polishing my paratrooper boots with my meager amount of down time, I chose to scribble down the joys and pains I was experiencing in Camp Toccoa, Georgia.

**Please forgive me for how pathetically short this chapter was! **

**If you have any suggestions or comments, please let me know what they are! I'm not a nurse, so I apologize if any information is false.**

**Hang tough, my lovely readers! :)**


	6. The Boys and The Keeper

**I wanna say a sincere thank you to the readers, and especially to my reviewers **_wondertogonder__**, **__Camilla, readxme__**,**__ xXxRainbowxXxStarxXx__**, **__Me(guest)__**, **__horselover, mrssteverodgers, LauRa-ReaDinG-XoX___**and**___eurogirl14__**! **_**Love you all!**__

**Totally made up all 'The Keeper' stuff, so I hope you don't think it's too farfetched… just thought it might add to the story! :)**

Chapter Six: The Boys and The Keeper

My hands jolted up to my throat, threatened by a drowning feeling deep in my throat.

"Wha…?" I gurgled, wiping away the chilled trail of drool from my cheek. A gust of cool night air tickled my bare arms. Realizing the time, I bent my middle with my sore abdomen scolding me. A thin, twice folded paper fell into my lap, with the clinking noise of a pencil against the floor following behind. My soiled curls hung pathetically around my cheeks, sticking to my sweating forehead.

Irritably I whipped back the white sheet that drug across the floor with the small breeze dancing through the practice. I shouldn't have been sleeping. It was the middle of the day when I started writing that letter. God only knows how many exercises I had missed. Why did Gene let me sleep?

My eyes instantly found Eugene sprawled in the lone armchair, his round mouth open and breathing out his exhaustion. A sly smirk crinkled up my lips with my zinging arms crossed against my chest.

"WHY DIDN'T YOU WAKE ME UP!?" I bellowed as fiercely as my shy voice would allow. His arms flew up, squatting the nonexistent boogie man above him. I let out a light giggle as he continued to scramble around in the darkness.

_Thud_.

I unwillingly fell to my knee with laughter seeing him sprawled on the floor with fear. The still swollen green bruises crying out from when Sobel had thrown me to the ground. I didn't care though, my laughter forced upon his drowsiness made my wounds heal. I hadn't laughed this hard since… well, since I couldn't remember.

"Gene… Gene…" I gasped out through spouts of light laughter, my eyes adjusting to the engulfing darkness. I grabbed his thin shoulders and he jumped with the touch. "Relax, it's just Loretta. I'm not gonna eat ya!"

Pulling myself back up to my feet, I looked down t my fellow medic. He was cute, in a weird and awkward way. I swallowed down another fit of laughter when I observed how he was sitting. With his pajama'd legs crossed his ankle bones pressed against the hardwood floorboards, all I could think was that he looked like a child. Like a small boy, watching a kitten drink from a saucer of milk. His round doe eyes were in awe, but not of the kitten but of me. I could tell he still didn't think I belonged here, but something gnawed at me. I know it sounds vein, but I think Roe enjoys watching over me. As if he feels he is superior because he has a relationship with me that the other men haven't had the chance to develop yet.

"What?" I quietly snorted.

He blinked his long black lashed together, attempting to wrap himself around the situation. "Damn it, Brave! I was sleeping!"

"Really- I couldn't tell. Why don't you go join the nearest moose heard, Gene… they make the same call as you!" I bit my lip, holding down a giggle when I saw a flash of his pink tongue escape through his dry lips. Then I wrinkled up my nose, "Wait, wha…? What did you just call me?"

He moaned as he stood, promptly plopping himself back into the inviting chair before responding to my pressing curiosity. "What are you talking about?" He mumbled in a sleepy tone.

"I _mean_," I growled, cupping my hips with my hands. "You called me something. You know, comma and then a name?"

A low whir buzzed in the air. He was snoring again.

"Gene!" I irritably snapped my fingers in his face.

I swear I could feel him roll his eyes, "Brave. I called you Brave."

"The fuck is that supposed to mean?"

He rolled over, nestling his head deeper into his chest, "Ask the Keeper… not me." His scratchy voice was dripping with mystery. Then a familiar whir escaped his slightly parted lips. I promptly backhanded his head, itching to quench my curious thirst.

"The Keeper… in the Cajun culture- he speaks to you through your dreams. He gives me information."

I lowered myself onto the empty arm of the chair, tucking a loose hanging curl behind my ear. "Okay, weird. But, why 'Brave'?"

"Because you are _brave_. I don't see any other women crawling through pig guts. You've had your own battle back home, yet here you are-"

I cut him off, "Gene, if anything, I'm a coward. I _ran away _from my past, I didn't fight it. I can barely keep up with these men…"

Doc rolled over to face me, his eyes burning with a fire. Suddenly I wasn't cross with him for letting me sleep. "The Keeper _knows _you are brave… you can never question that, Roselle."

My eyes squinted over to the window. Purple was crawling over the mountain summit like a cowboy from a bar. I tapped my grimy fingertip to the window glass, melting the early autumn frost with the contact. I always hated winter, even as a young girl. I stayed inside with my mother, gulping down hot chocolate seemingly by the gallon while Billy frolicked in the snow with Johnny.

"Rise and shine, Doc… and shining is _not _optional," I winked down to him, even though I knew his peaceful eyes wouldn't see it. I turned back to face the window kissed by Jack Frost, knowing it wouldn't be there by noon. The sweltering and humid Georgia air would eat away the ice crystals.

The bugler's silhouette clapped to attention against the rising sun. He raised the simple instrument into the now orange sky. It always amazed me how eagerly the sun rose, but how it seemed to dread to fall.

Then his tune galloped through Camp Toccoa, the groan of every restless man murmuring in unison. I didn't know what the day would bring so a churning sensation grumbled in my stomach. I still hadn't met the men… and I didn't want to.

I turned around and found Gene splashing water into his shadowed face. He looked exhausted. A cringe of guilt washed through me- was he growing tired because of me?

Playfully pushing him over with the force of my hip, I hogged the faucet and scrubbed my skin clean of any grim. He just smirked as he wiped an olive drab towel across the droplets cascading off his sharp cheekbones.

"Christ, what was in that 'tonic'? Knocked me out like a baby…"

I heard him gulp down a chortle, "Lesson number two… never give or take something ya don't read the label of first."

My jaw swung open in disbelief, "You asshole!" My small fist met with his shoulder, and he pretended to hobble away, chuckling all the way. I just quietly shook my head at him watching his thin fingers hastily button up a tan dress shirt. Eugene tucked the short coffee and cream colored tie into the space between two buttons, and adjusted his garrison cap. My eyes twinkled as I admired his black, almost blue, hair.

Doc turned on his heel, with one eyebrow cocked in warning, "Breakfast. You will eat it today, Roselle."

I stubbornly crossed my arms, pointed my nose towards the young sun. It's warmth felt good on my battered cheek. Distracted by my bliss, Eugene took my wrist and drug me out of our barracks. I tried to yank free, but his stubbornness was a perfect match to mine.

"I- don't- want- to!" I squirmed and flipped, drawing many eyes. I laughed to myself, knowing they thought Eugene was going to harm me, but he only wanted to care for me. The mick.

"Where'd you drum up this pretty young thing, Doc?" an alarming voice boomed behind me. I whipped around and hid behind Roe's back like a terrified child in a thunderstorm. My fingers curled and dug into his newly pressed shirt. My daring eyes glanced over his shoulder, to find a similarly uniformed man with a paratroop patch sewn into his side cap.

"_Get out here_," he hissed over his shoulder to me, yanking me to his side. Like glue I pressed firmly against his side. Eugene Roe was my security blanket in this big, bad and man-filled world.

"You the new medic broad?" his heavenly raspy voice questioned. This kindled a fire in my chest.

"Yes," I spat out at him. "I _am _the _woman _nurse of Easy Company."

He raised his hands in surrender, "Yesh, Doc! Feisty one you got here… name's Joe. Joe Toye."

My hand reluctantly cupped with his, and I squeezed as hard as I could. Even though I wasn't, I wanted them to think I was tough. "Private Roselle, or Loretta."

"Pretty name." He shoved his hands in his pockets, "You a country girl?"

I struggled to fight the urge to snort, "I'm from Oklahoma, if that's what you're asking."

Another man's boots crunched against the gravel path. Even though the sky was slowly getting engulfed in clouds, I could still spot Bill Guarnere's under bite. He took his place next to Toe, shifting his relaxed weight onto one leg.

"Ah, I see you've meet Easy's finest lady, Joe! Hell of a girl from what I can tell," he smiled through his Philly accent. Eugene nudged me with his elbow as if to say, 'See, they like you fine!'

"Gene and I were just heading off breakfast, what about you guys?" I wrung my hands together nervously. The statement sounded so much better in my head.

"Heading off?" Joe scoffed. "Looks to me like your were being drug to the gallows against your will!" Eugene and I both chuckled, realizing how humorous we must have looked. Moments later I was staring down at my plate of steak and eggs. My stomach boiled and gurgled, my sore morning throat fizzled.

"What's wrong, 'etta?" Bill nudged me, a yellow chunk of scrambled eggs dribbling against his chin. Smiling, I tenderly wiped the filth away with my napkin to reveal small black whiskers poking from his chin.

"You need to shave, Bill," I poked at him. I could tell we would be good friends.

He narrowed his glance down at me, "I asked you a question, cowgirl."

"Nothing," I waved him off, hatefully stabbing my fork into the chunk of meat. "I _hate _breakfast!"

Muck gently kicked my shin under the table, "Who the hell doesn't like breakfast!?"

"This girl," I said, pointing my fork to my chest. They all just grinned and continued scarffing down the early meal.

Still not interested in the food, my eyes once again wandered off to the window. I saw Winters swallowing down a smile as Sobel snarled something clearly vile in his face. The bright and lively sun lost the battle for today, wispy clouds swirling overhead to block the beams. He fastened a golden single bar to Richard's collar, tugging a little extra just to make my toes curl.

The table ratted under me, pulling my eyes back to the towering men. "We're going back to the barracks. Sobel says it's a light day." Joe Liebgott tapped my shoulder, coolly inviting me.

"That son of a bitch… I could have slept longer," I snarled to nobody in particular.

Liebgott clapped his hand to my back, "Hey, this girls alright!"

I weakly smiled up at Gene who resumed his protective position at my side. We watched as the men flooded out the door. "Well, you ready?" He offered his bent elbow to me.

I took it without hesitation, "For what?"

"It's time to meet them, Brave."

My heart churned, I was slowly getting attached to the nickname that The Keeper had assigned me.

B.o.B.

"Penk! Catch!"

A white wad met with my chest. The second I realized what I was holding in my hands, the undergarment fell to the ground. Disgusted, I curled up my nose and was tempted to head back out the door.

"Ah, Jeezus… she let it drop!" A stocky, dark-haired man irritably snatched up the underwear that was sprawled across the toes of my cork boots. "Good things she's a nurse and doesn't handle grenades…"

Skip Muck strolled down the aisle, slapping Penkala on the back of the head, "Cut the girl some slack, Alex." I smiled kindly at him, thankful for his sympathy.

George Luz who had introduced himself during PT patted the cot neighboring him, "Come sit down, cowgirl. We got your royal throne all ready for ya." George dramatically bowed down as I lowered myself onto the cot. I playfully rolled my eyes, and when I opened them a million nameless men stood anxiously around the bed.

With a ferociously pounding heart, I frantically searched for Eugene. I felt the need to call out for him; I needed him at my side. I quietly dug my fingers into the fabric of my pant leg, begging myself to stay brave.

"This here is Frank Perco-" George Luz was pushed aside by an even shorter man with comical thick eyebrows.

"Christ, Luz! I can introduce myself!" He held out a petite hand, and I curved my lips in our greeting. "Call me Perco, dear."

He took a step back, never tearing his eyes from me for one second. I felt squeamish as they all continued down the line. Some were bashful, some flattered me but over everything they made me laugh and smile. I could tell I had lucked out when I was assigned to Easy Co.

"Johnny Martin," a married man offered me a handshake, his mass of dark curls swooping onto his forehead. When he stepped forward, I couldn't help but notice Denver standing behind him. The enormous and seemingly heartless man was gnawing on his big fat cigar. The odor it emitted reminded me of my father and how he would always smoke cigars specifically during celebrations. Johnny Martin's name made me yearn deeply to hear Johnny's sweet voice. I was already missing home.

Webster seemed smart and well educated, and I looked forward to having literature discussions with him. Then came Cobb. He weakly shook my hand, as if I was a homeless person to him. Worthless. To him I clearly didn't know my place as a woman, and Roy would be sure to remind me of it.

Pat Christenson and Edward Tipper were next, both greeting me with a big broad smile that practically _made _you grin. I was surprised at how many of the men I had run into during training or in the mess hall.

Then there was Donald Hoobler with his ears. Hoob was the most adorable thing I had ever laid eyes upon. His small, curled ears protruding from the sides of his round face. The moment it was his turn, his pleasant face burned a deep tomato red.

"Loretta. Or, there's plenty of nicknames floating around here so choose your pick. Cowgirl, Lottie, Brave…" The last one hung on my tongue and danced in the smoke filled room.

"Brave?" Don's bubbly voice questioned, and I felt my face burn as red as his.

I waved him off, wishing he would forget about it, "Oh nothing, Doc came up with it."

"Haha…" he chuckled to himself, looking around the room and back to me as I sat cross legged on the cot. "You _do _realized Doc likes you, right?"

My small eyes grew large, my face so hot now I began to sweat, "You're crazy, Hoob."

"I'm serious, Etta," he sat down next to me. "I don't make shit like this up."

I looked over at Eugene who sat on a footlocker, fiddling with his thumbs in isolation. I chose not to comment back; instead I narrowed my sights on Bull Randleman. I was attracted to him for unknown reasons. His strong build that boldly stated he would protect me, when there was never a man in my life to do that other than Johnny. He carried me down the mountain, and helped me up from the course. But I knew any other man from this company would do just the same thing. Then the next moment he would treat me as lifelessly as any other soldier. I couldn't for the life of me explain it, but I was interested in him. I wanted to know him better, to feel the security of my small hand folded within his goliath palm.

"Well, since you zoned out on me… Sobel is having us eat spaghetti for lunch." He nudged me in the ribs, "Or do you hate lunch too?"

I playfully slapped his shoulder blade as he stood from the low bed. "Cya, around Hoob." I smiled up at him and those adorable ears of his.

Bored as the restless men all chatted and tossed wads of socks and other personal belongings across the room, I began fishing bobby pins from my hair. The honey colored curls hung loosely around my tense shoulders. Looking down as I jabbed them into my teeth, I didn't notice the towering man nearing me.

"Care for a smoke?" Bull's booming voice offered, pulling the wet cigar from his lips.

I lost all sense of manners and spoke through the pins, "I don't smoke." I said curtly, remembering back to my father's bad smoking habits too.

"Oh…" he turned on his heel, already giving up on the conversation.

"Wait," I reached out my hand, my face still burning. "I didn't get to talk to you."

Denver raised his eyebrows that matched his thick, curly blonde hair, "Seemed to me you didn't feel like talking, Roselle."

"God," I looked down to my hands. "Could you call me something other than 'Roselle'? There are plenty of nickname's floating around here. Pick one."

"Nah," he sat down on the corner of the bed, his weight making the thin mattress sink. "I don't like none of 'em."

"Then make one up," I shyly suggested, gathering all of the pins into my fingers. He looked up to the ceiling, seeming to search for inspiration.

"Boon."

I furrowed my brows, running my fingers through my hair, "Huh?"

"You don't like it, do you?" He shyly glanced down at his hands. I was in awe that such a big man was as painfully shy as me.

"Actually… I do. A lot."

I caught him swallow down an elated smile, "Well, I just figured… you got a drawl. You know, boondocks."

I giggled, "I _said_, I like it Bull."

"Where you from, Boon?" He asked, trying on my new name on for size.

I straightened my back, "'Lahoma. You?"

"Arkansas," he smirked as Johnny Martin walked down the aisle and slapped his back.

"Lunchtime, Bull. Spaghetti."

My stomach kicked around with the thought of eating warm spaghetti, and I felt myself begin to drool. "Lord, that sounds good!" If only I had known…

We both stood from the cot, following closely behind the rest of the men. Eugene was nowhere to be found, so I stayed close beside Bull. "Loretta… if you don't mind me sayin'… you got some pretty hair on your head." He mumbled shyly as we crunched across the gravel. My face seared blood red, and all I could do was look at the ground.

**There it is! This chapter felt different to write than anything I have every written before for some reason. Would you agree?**

**Feedback and suggestions, advice and any comments are so appreciated! :)**


	7. We Pulled Upon the Risers

**So much school work to do… but you guys mean so much more to me!**

**I hope you enjoy this chap, and please don't hesitate to review! :)**

**Chapter Seven: We Pulled Upon the Risers**

The opaque Army noodles slid and slopped across the smooth surface of the warm porcelain. The plate was still hot to the touch from the scalding water that just ran over it. Sliding my tray down the row, the sweaty-faced man poured a deep ladle full of chunky, orange sauce across the worms of dough. Defiantly not like Grandma used to make…

I turned around to find Hoobler scarfing down the slop. As the slimy noodle slurped through his 'o' shaped lips, its slapped his round cheeks and left orange whip marks. A chuckle rose in my throat. I sure hoped I would never have to patch that boy up.

Feeling like the miserably shy girl I was in High School, I timidly shuffled through the cafeteria. Side stepping in between two tables, I held the steaming tray above the men's heads.

I tapped Alex Penkala's shoulder, and nudged Hoobler's side with my hip, "Heya fellas… mind if I sit here?"

Without a trace of hesitation, they pushed the man next to them to make a space for me.

"Oh yea… yea, of course!" Hoob fumbled, bits of partially chewed noodles churning around in his round mouth. I smiled kindly at them both as I gently ran a white napkin across Hoob's face.

His face felt hot under my hand. I wasn't sure if it was a fever, or he was embarrassed. Knowing Hoob, I figured it was his shyness glowing through. "Christ, Hoob! If Sobel sees you like this…" I warmly warned. All he did was bend back down and continue shoving the pasta into his mouth like shovels.

Eugene sat before me, and I caught his blue eyes watching contently over his glass of water as I interacted with the men. I shyly smiled back to him, but was interrupted when a body knocked into my shoulder.

"You ain't gotta eat it-" Wild Bill's thick accent spun around through the steamy air. Before I could turn around, he gently touched the small of my back. "Shit, sorry I hit you, cowgirl!"

I shyly waved him off, feeling beads of sweat form on my upper lip. _Lord, it is hot in here_. Even though it was pouring buckets outside, the heat of the men and the hot slop made it feel like the 4th of July.

My stomach begging me for a bite, I bent down and noticed there was no spoon on my tray. Nothing to spin my noodles in, nothing to keep it together. _Shit_. I blew a frustrated puff, blowing the whispies of fine hair off of my hot forehead. Mama taught me to eat correctly, and just because I was surrounded by men didn't mean I should forget my manners.

"Oh, Gonorrhea… as a fellow Italian, you should know that calling this crap spaghetti is a mortal sin."

Hoobler reached behind him, "You don't want it- I'll eat it!"

"Hey, get outta here!" Bill elbowed him, warding the grabber off. I swallowed quickly to be sure my meal wouldn't fly from my mouth with the laughter. Easy Company was a comical group of men, whether they were aware of it or not.

I wiped the crust of my garlic bread around the rim of the plate, scooping up the sauce. Before I could rest the buttery and zesty pillow of bread on my tongue, a sharp whistle blew. The French doors of the mess hall swung open, and a sick feeling rose in my stomach. I could sense Sobel by the menacing footfall across the floorboards. George Luz scooped his arm under my arm pit, pulling me to my feet.

"Orders changed, get up!" He strutted down the aisle, as if he owned the place. "Passes are canceled; Easy Company is running up _Currahee_." He spat out the last word, forcing a bitter feeling into my mouth. "MOVE, MOVE! Three miles up, three miles down! HI-HO-SILVER!"

Donald gently pushed my back forward. I looked over my shoulder to glance at Winters who was watching us from the kitchen. I saw him and Sobel glaring at each other, but Richard had a certain smirk on his lips. I wish he would rescue us from this vile being.

B.o.B.

I cringed with the splattering sound of Hoob's vomit hitting the gravel beneath us.

"You're a _washout_, Private Hoobler! You should pack up those ears and go home!" Sobel barked down at my Hoobler. I balled up my fists, begging myself to not swing a blow to Sobel's ears. Nobody is allowed to poke humor at Don's ears that I adore so much.

Bull plodded at my left, with Perconte at my right. We formed a scale, the tallest at one end, and the two shortest at the other. I then felt Sobel's body heat pass behind me. He seemed to wind his body around Bull and I like a King Cobra, making my skin crawl and a shiver gallop down my spine.

"Private Randleman, you look tired!" Sobel teased as more puke escaped from the men's mouths. "There's an ambulance waiting for you at the bottom of the hill. It can all be over right now. No more pain, no more Currahee, no more _Captain _Sobel!"

I looked weakly up to Bull, finding his pale lips pressed tightly together. The men's boots charged forward faster, and I felt all remainder of my spirit shrivel away. I couldn't keep up with them, and I grotesquely imagined my heart giving out and them all trampling over me. Sobel drove them harder, a cracking whip held viciously in his hand. The whip wasn't working on my anymore.

"And don't forget our little whore," he called out, just loud enough for all of them to hear. _Just _loud enough so I could not only feel the embarrassment but experience it. "You men do realize why she is here? Here to steal away your heart. That's all she's good for- spreading her legs."

Hot tears prickled my eyes, a burning stone growing in my throat. How could anybody, living, be so cruel? He had said this so many times, I was getting convinced it was true. No- I wouldn't allow myself to get attached to anybody. Not Luz, not Bull, not Hoobler. I couldn't let his warning become true. Satisfied only when he saw the salty tears rolling down my cheeks did he gallop off.

"We pull upon the risers, we fall upon the grass…" Georgie's voice weakly sung.

The rest of the men joined, "We never land upon our feet, we always hit our ass. Highty tighty, Christ almighty, who the hell are we? Zim-zam gaddamn-"

I searched for the courage to join the chorus. My dry and salty lips cracked as I opened them. My wavering and scratchy voice joined, "We're Airborne Infantry!" The certain stinging zest in that chant let me know I was right where I needed to be.

B.o.B.

"Good Lord…" I whispered to myself, peeling the thin white cotton shirt from my hot skin. Glancing in the small mirror, I saw how flushed my cheeks were. My heart still pounded against my rib cage, even though I had walked slowly all the way back to my living quarters. I heard the exterior door click shut, and I figured Spina had gone outside for a smoke.

Spina was my other medic, and since the day he moved in I forwardly told him he would not be allowed to smoke indoors. The stench reminded me too fiercely of my father.

"Knock, knock, knock," Eugene's Cajun voice questioned. "You decent?"

I whipped back the sheet, revealing my bare stomach with only my blue shorts and a brassiere. I couldn't tell you what prompted me to do such a thing, but I figured Gene would have to see me eventually.

"Yes," I asked sweetly, gazing at his big eyes the size of saucers.

He was dead silent. "I-I… W-Winters is here to see you." He finally spat out. I let out a small chuckle, not even fathoming what he just said.

"Haha, good one, Gene." I lightly punched him in the shoulder, "But seriously, what's up?"

He turned his body sideways, revealing my red headed officer. Sweet. Baby. Jesus.

I let out a shriek, crossing my arms over my torso as Richard fended away his staring eyes. "Sir, sir I am _so _sorry!" I jerked down the sheet from the nails in the ceiling, wrapping it around my body- hiding my beet red face.

"I'm sorry for intruding, Private," I felt like crying. "I was just checking in on your progress." He turned on his heel, still with a hand shielding his eyes. I chased after him. Bad idea.

"I'm so sorry, sir! I didn't know you were here!" he trotted out the door, into the gray air. Gene was still behind me, fixed in a shocked daze. I leaned against the side of the door. Joe Liebgott was walking with Skinny Sisk down the gravel trail. Their jaws dropped, not believing their eyes. Connecting the dots as they saw Winters leave, and me wrapped in a sheet… I feared the worst of their assumptions.

Tears rolling over the rims of my eyes, I slammed shut the door and crumpled to the floor. Now they would believe the things Sobel said earlier. I wiped away my tears that seemed to sizzle against my hot cheeks. Eugene was hiding his face in the arm of the chair, his back heaving.

I stumbled to my feet, pattering towards his doubled over body. "Gene! What the fuck is wrong with you?" I pulled him back by his shoulder only to find tears streaking down his pale face too. He held a boney hand over his agape mouth. That son of a bitch was laughing himself to tears!  
"Goddamn it Gene!" I defeatedly slapped his back as he resumed in position.

He spluttered in-between gasps, "C-can you believe that just happened! You should have _seen _his face! Oh my God!"

"I hate you!" I slapped him again, as he continued to chuckle. He held his stomach as I ran back to my room.

I will admit, his expression was pretty humorous. The man acted like he had never seen a naked woman in his life. Didn't he have sisters? I wasn't even completely naked! I just grumbled to myself, thinking back to Liebgott and Skinny. The rumors would fly like stink on a pile of shit.

I dressed up in my gear, clicking all the belt and tying all the knots. Winding my honey colored waves into a loose but smooth bun, I strategically placed my garrison cap upon my head. If I was gonna catch crap, I might was well look nice. Did that actually just happen?

B.o.B.

"You're shitting me!" Talbert spat out, covering his mouth with his hand in amazement.

Toye leaned in to absorb the juicy news, "She fucked the Lieutenant? Atta girl! Didn't know the Quaker had it in 'em!"

They all laughed to themselves, Liebgott and Skinny dramatically telling the story to anybody that cared to hear.

"Whatcha talking about, boys?" I shouted in a low voice as I busted through the door to their barracks. They all fell silent, looking down at their hands. "C'mon, spill!"

Hoobler stood from his cot, and walked slowly to me. He whispered into my ear, "You really did '_it_' with Winters?"

I pushed him back at least five feet by his chest, "I did NOT!"

Liebgott stood, nearing me as he gnawed on a toothpick, "Then explain him leaving your room, while you naked and calling after him."

"It's not like that!" I kicked a loose floorboards beneath me, "I'm a virgin, alright?"

Wild gasps flooded the long barrack.

"Jeezus, what's so bad about that!?"

Luz piped up, "Wull, nothin' but…"

"But what? I've only known you guys for a short bit, but I know more about you than you would think. Now, you know nothing about me… and you never will! You don't know anything about my past, or my family. So y'all just shut the _fuck _up and stop spreading rumors!"

Steaming, I stormed out of the room, holding my middle finger towards them.

"Christ, she's a feisty one, ain't she?" Bill smirked through his cigarette.

"Somebody should go talk to her," Johnny Martin suggested.

Bull stepped forward, not taking his eyes from the door, "I will."

"Nice knowing ya, Bull!" Muck slapped his enormous back, sarcasm thick in his voice.

I leaned against the light post, letting the drizzly rain soak up my tears. I kept sniffling, like a spoiled little girl that didn't get what she wanted for her birthday. But this was so much worse.

Boots crunched behind me, but I figured it was another group of troopers marching off to PT or the mess hall. Beginning to grow cold, I wrapped my arms tighter around my body. I don't know why I was standing here, making a complete fool of myself, but something told me to wait.

"Boone?" a deep, southern voice drawled shyly.

I spun around slowly, looking down to hide my swollen eyes. "Hey, Bull…" My voice sounded like a broken LP. "Shit…" The tears started rolling again.

"Shhh shhh… you alright?"

I shot my hands at my side, "Do I _look _alright?!"

Denver wedged his cigar further back in his teeth, "You look fine to me…"

I just snorted, not even realizing he was complimenting me.

"Care for a smoke?" he held out the smoldering nub to me.

"Nah, I don't smoke… i-it reminds me of him too much."

"Of who?"

"M-my father…" Bull was the last person I wanted to talk about this.

He shifted his weight to his other leg, "Is that what that was all about in there?"

I just nodded quietly.

"What about your father, Boone? Did he hurt you?" Bull bent down, beckoning my eyes from the ground. He had breathtaking blue eyes.

"What? Wanna make me cry again?" I spat out, feeling the tears prickle once again.

"No, not really," he mumbled, opening his arms for me. Bull was so much taller than me. I wrapped my arms around his lower waist, unable to reach any higher. His size seemed to dominate me, but his warm hold was the most comforting sensation I had felt in a long time. The loving touch of a man is something entirely indescribable, I'm telling you.

He smoothly ran his goliath hand down and up my back, making small circles. I just quietly sobbed into his chest, pressing up tighter to him so nobody would hear. After a good ten minutes, I pulled away. As he still held my shoulders, I saw a wet circle on his uniform from my tears.

"I'm sorry… about that," I motioned with my eyes.

"Don't worry 'bout it, Boone," his throaty voice soothed me further.

I swallowed down, trying to coax out any courage still in me. I fakely smiled up to him, "Doc's expecting me for another medical lesson. I better head off…"

"Alright," he squeezed my shoulder. "Take care, Boone."

I started walking, but turned to see him watching me, "See ya at the first jump tomorrow…"

He winked, "Hi-ho fucking Silver!"

That was it. That bear of a man had managed to make me smile… a genuine smile. It felt so good on my tired lips.

**I hope that's enough to hold ya 'til this coming weekend. I get a 10 day Fall Break, and I'll be updating like a crazy lady- so expect it! **

**Please review and let me know what you think of this story and where it is going? ALSO! I would LOVE if somebody would be willing to do a 'fanvid' type thing of sorts for this story with a song I have in mind. PM me if you are at all interested! I would really appreciate it, lovelies! **


	8. Flying Down

**SO many thanks to my dear Yorkshire friend, Allie! She suggested the perfect name for the boy that WILL be joining Loretta and her boys! :)**

**I really hope you enjoy! **

Chapter Eight: Flying

"Pressure! Apply pressure, miss!" Eugene raised his voice, the machine was screaming out in competition. There was artificial blood gushing from the side of the dummy. I weaved my fingers together, one tired hand covering the other. Pumping and grunting, I heard plastic ribs crack under the bulbs of my palms. The feeling of loosing was all too familiar. I wish Eugene could understand.

_Sharp metal cut into her young face, her thin and dark eyebrows scrunching with the pain. The cry of a younger child echoed through the crushing sounds. A mature and heavenly voice shrieked for her children, the girl stealing glances through the flames at her mother's body getting tossed about. Glass shattered as tire screeched across the hot, black pavement. Blood splattered against the remaining window as the girl heard the last sound that emerged from her brother's mouth. Her golden eyes burned as a sharp pain bit through her wrist. _

_The tumbling stopped. The sirens cried out into the Sunday afternoon sky. The young boy's body was in half. The father crumpled in a heap against the burning pavement. And there were her eyes. Green and striking. Hues of purple and blue danced around them as they watched. Forced open with a terrified gaze. They stared at her daughter, but the usual spark was dead and gone. _

"You lost 'em."

Still pumping, I bent my head into my chest. Eugene couldn't see me like this. I refused to hear the never ending string that was being spewed from the heart monitor. A sickening sound that was all too familiar.

His pale hand rest on mine, pulling them away. I tore them back, pumping away furiously.

"NO! He's still alive!"

Eugene took a few steps back, watching me slave away over the man made of manmade materials. He just watched- I don't think he understood why I didn't want to give up.

His accent cut through my heavy panting, "C'mon, Roselle. It's just a practice!"

He really _didn't _understand.

"Yea, well guess what?" I lashed out through gasps for air, "It ain't gonna be a practice round on the line, Gene." He didn't have a reply.

Feeling sweat run down my cheeks, I couldn't help but shudder. It felt all too much like the blood. Finally I pulled away, cautiously eyeing the pool of mock blood on the medical cot. Some nurse I was.

"Lesson's over?" I seriously questioned. I didn't feel much like teasing like I usually did around Doc. I guess I never realized how fresh the memory wounds still were. When I looked up into the face of the practice dummy, I saw that nobody bothered to paint eyes on him. My vivid imagination took over, and I placed my mother's stunning emerald diamonds on him.

"Yea… go rest up for the jump. We're done here."

"Goddammit, Gene. I'm sorry I acted like that." I bit down on my tongue until I tasted the steely blood.

"I just don't understand. I always feel like it's my fault."

I took a few steps near him, "It's not you, I promise. You can't change what happened."

"Roselle, if we are going to be side by side…" he looked shyly down at his hands.

I snorted, "You make it sound like we're getting married, Roe!"

He just cocked one of his perfect, black eyebrows at me.

"My mother and younger brother were both killed in a terrible car accident. My father blamed himself for it, and then became a wretched alcoholic. He abused me- hurt me. That's why I'm here. I know you don't think it's safe, but I'll tell you hell is safer than living with him."

"Oh…"

I just grimaced, "'Night Gene."

I turned to go into my back room, but he spoke. "C'mere, cowgirl." Doc wrapped me up in a warm hug, firmly squeezing my waist. Comforted, I buried my face into his neck.

"Dammit, Gene. You're gonna make me cry."

He released, and lightly patted my hot cheek. I felt a giggle rise up in my throat, "Sorry I flashed you today…"

Hues of pink crept up his cheeks as he shoved his hands into his pockets. "I just feel bad for da Lieutenant!"

I lightly laughed as I let my hair fall around my shoulders. Today had been an eventful day, but I knew tomorrow would be worse. I would be getting my JumpWings.

B.o.B.

"It okay if I sit here, fellas?"

Popeye's round face smiled up at me, whistling through his lips, "You don't have to ask, cowgirl."

"Plop that fanny down right here," Bill patted the trampled down grass. I squeezed in between him, my heavy parachuting equipment weighing me down.

A handsome man stood before us, holding a pair of jump gloves and a stick in front of him. "Are we ready to be Army paratroopers?"

"YES, SERGEANT!" We all bellowed in unison. I could tell everybody was as excited as I was. This was happening.

"I hope so…" he grinned down at us. "This will be the first of five exits from a C-47 aircraft scheduled for today. Upon successful completion of your fifth and final jump, you will be certified Army paratroopers. There will be a lot of men… and woman," the instructor winked at me. Floyd Talbert poked his finger in between my two shoulder blades. I just wryly smiled over to Guarnere as he patted my knee. "… falling through the sky today. Hopefully, under deployed canopies."

"Jumping from 1000 feet AGL, in sticks of 12 _jumpers_ per aircraft," he emphasized on 'jumpers', careful not to say 'men'. I silently thanked him for his rare respect. "All you have to do is remember what you were taught, and I guarantee you gravity will take care of the rest."

With my nasty habit, I dug at the sides of my thumbs. I was so anxious… until the Sergeant said this: "And lady and gentlemen, rest assured any refusals in the aircraft or at the door I guarantee, you _will _be out of the Airborne."

My heart pounded and I gnawed on my already sore tongue. Hesitation never even crossed my mind, but then again I hadn't ever been faced with something like this.

B.o.B.

Bull's hand smoothly ran along my uniform, tugging on every string and rope. Clicking together again and again the many buckles that hung around me. He ran his fingers under my jump suspenders, checking for their security. I should have been checking Bill's equipment, but the thoughtful touch of Bull made my entire body freeze. Then his hands trailed down my legs, wiggling my leg bag and checking more buckles. My eyelids slid halfway over my eyes as I mindlessly shook Bill's dense body.

Bull's voice roared louder than everybody else's as he firmly squeezed my upper arm. "THREE O-K!"

Guiltily, I shouted, "TWO O-K!"

The metal hook quickly caught on every little groove on the heavy steel cord high above me. I walked on the empty toes of my cork boots, careful to keep my hand near to the hook. I guided it along as Bull tenderly pushed me forward by my back.

The red light glowed pink against the instructor's shouting face. He practically pressed his lips to Guarnere's ear, just to be heard over the deafening rumble of the plane. The light clicked to a spring grass green, and Bill hurdled himself out of the door. Within an instant he was gone, the silky parachute drifting over the field.

Bull dug his wide thumb into the small of my back, nudging me to the door. My heart was pounding harder than the rattling of the plane as the Sergeant yelled to me too. I stuck my head out into the clear air, holding on tightly to the siding of the door.

The world switched to green.

As I dropped out, I faintly heard a 'GO, GO, GO!'. I had thrown myself out before he could even order me too.

The silky and milk colored chute mushroomed out above my head, sending me feet higher into the air. The ropes stung my skin through my olive uniform, but I still couldn't help but smile. The sky looked like one big watercolor painting. All different colors blended into one. Letting out a squeal of delight, I curled my toes in my boots. Flying was the greatest sensation I have ever experienced.

Bill was rolling up his chute below me. "Look out below!" I hollered through my joy. I stiffened my knees, and rolled perfectly onto my back with the large billowing chute gently tugging me along the drop zone. Guarnere slid his arm under my arm pit and happily lifted me to my feet. I beamed up to him, Bill smiling through his under bite all the way.

Bull landed just a few yards away from me, and Bill was the first to greet him. Frank Perconte was after that, and I took a moment to celebrate with my little pocket Italian.

"We did it, Perco!" I shouted, hugging the short man that was the same height as me.

He rocked me back and forth, "We sure did, cowgirl!"

Once all 12 men at reached the ground, we became a large cluster of fists in the air, victorious shouts and hugs. Joe Liebgott swung his heavy arm around my shoulders, leading me over to the meeting zone. We still had four jumps to go, but I was excited. Guiltily I thanked Sobel, because without his 'guidance' and training, I wouldn't have been successful.

"You goin' to the party tonight, 'etta?" Skip Muck called over the group of men at my sides.

My heart sunk into a puddle in my boots. I had completely forgotten about the celebratory gathering that evening.

I lied with jokes, "Hey, who's to say I'll get my wings?"

"We're all to say!" David Webster agreed, happiness thick in his deep voice. "What about you, Bull? You think our cowgirl will get her wings?"

He smirked through his cigar, "Shit, boys. I _know _Boone will get her wings, it's the rest of you I'm worried about!"

They all roared their laughter, slapping each other on the back and helmets. I glanced behind the long line of men, catching Denver give a speedy wink. My heart waltzed around in my chest, and my face blushed.

B.o.B.

"Son of a _bitch_!" I dug my fingernails into my scalp, kicking anything that was in my way.

Eugene looked over the edge of his medical encyclopedia, "What?"

"What do you mean 'what'?!" I lashed out, painfully bringing my bare toe to my heavy foot locker. I swore profusely, hopping over to the cabinets to clean away the blood now oozing from underneath my big toe's nail. Reminisce of red nail polish was worn off and the color was stained at the center of the nail.

"I _mean_, what are you so pissy about?" He slammed shut his reading.

I looked up at him like a kicked puppy, nursing my throbbing toe. My moods had swung to the opposite pole of what it just was. It's a dreadful thing- to be a woman.

"That goddamn party is tonight…"

"Yea, what about it? You're going, aren't you?"

I tenderly wrapped a fresh white bandage around my throbbing appendage, "I want to, but I ain't got nothing to wear!"

"The men think you're a cowgirl, so you best wear some boots and a lasso." He chuckled good naturedly as he helped me stand.

"Ha ha… very funny, Gene." I threw myself into the armchair, allowing my posture to slouch, "But seriously, even my dress uniform doesn't fit!" I buried my flustered face into my hands, defeated.

"Jesus, calm your shit, 'etta!" Spina's deep voice waltzed in. I looked up from my hands to find a sly smile painted on both his and Doc's face. "We got ya covered."

"What in the hell are you two up to?" I tried to swallow down my smile, noticing they both held something behind their backs.

"Pick one." Spina crowed.

"Pick one of what?"

"Pick one of _us! _You dimwit!" Gene kidded, his thin pink lips mischievously curved.

I rubbed my sweaty palms together, "Okay then, Ralphie boy first."

He held out a small, jewelry box sized package before him. His face was cracked in half with a broad smile as I worked at the white string holding the brown paper together. Giving up, I took my pocket knife from my pocket and watched as the parchment fell and revealed a white box. I looked up at them one last time before I gently lifted the lid. Inside was two golden hair combs, each with a string of pearls intertwined with the teeth.

I let out a small gasp as I took them from the soft foam beneath, "Oh, Speen! They're beautiful!"

He smiled a knowing grin and handed Eugene the empty box. Skillfully, as if he had done it a million times before, he tucked the golden décor into my honey colored curls. I gave him a hug around the neck, still shocked by the sudden act of kindness.

"Now, you better go to that party tonight, cowgirl! Those cost me a week's paycheck!" He sweetly winked down at me as Gene elbowed him scoldingly in the ribs.

"Hey now, don't forget 'bout yo favorite medic!"

Now Gene had a larger package in his arms, wrapped by the same brown paper but splattered with stamps written in different languages. I delicately sliced open the ribbon binding the surprise, a childish smile written across my face. A deep, sunset red color shone through the tissue paper. Gasping quietly, I peeled back the layers. There lay a silk dress, scattered with white polka dots.

I pulled it out, letting the flowing layers spin around my knees. I tucked the smooth fabric to my chest, looking down at the masterpiece. There was a golden sash tied loosely around the waist, matching the hair combs.

Eugene was beaming from ear to ear, "Don't thank me, thank everybody else. Vest was the one with the catalog. All the men got together and picked it out, everybody even chipped in to pay for it. That's what they were all doing when you came into the barracks the other day."

I was completely and utterly lost for words. Gene and Speen knew it, too.

"Now stop standing around, and go make yourself look presentable!" Spina shoved me away, practically laughing at my bewildered face. I never in my life could have imagined a sweeter group of young men.

B.o.B.

"Good _Lord_, Brave!" Eugene knocked on my wall, "Are you ready _yet_?"

I smacked my painted ruby lips together once more, tucking the new hair comb above my ear, "Hold your horses… I'll be ready in a minute."

"That's what you said thirty five minutes ago!"

As I smoothed down the fun pattern of the silky dress, I was finally satisfied with my appearance. My mass of hair pinned up in rows of round pin curls, the two combs dazzling with the light of the sunset. I spun in a slow circle, searching for a run in my panty hose. I wore my nurse's shoes, which were comfortable but terribly unfashionable.

"I'm leaving without you!" His Cajun accent warned one last time.

"Okay, okay! I'm coming!" I pulled back the white curtain that Spina had tacked back up for me. Eugene's eyes grew wide, the impatience instantly leaving them. A smirk crept up on my ruby coated lips, "What? Ain't ever seen a woman before?" I gently slapped his cheek, snapping him back.

"Whatever, let's just get going. Okay?"

I followed behind him as I tucked a stray curl behind my ear, "Whatever you say, General Taylor, sir!"

"I _really _don't like you sometimes, Brave…"

I sarcastically patted his dressed up back, "I feel the _exact _same way, Gene. See, that's what makes us work so well together!"

"Just get in the car." He opened the half door of the jeep, rolling his eyes like an over protective brother. We drove a little towards town before he shattered the silence, "I think we need to have a talk. You know, like fellow doctors do."

"Yea, what about?" I mindlessly asked, looking myself over once more in the rearview mirror.

He shuffled his feet awkwardly along the petals, "Well, let's face the honest facts. You're a pretty lady, Brave… and all the men of Easy Company know this. All I'm saying is… don't let them take advan-"

"Jeezus Christ, Gene! Don't you trust these men any more than that? Don't you trust me?"

The buzzing bar was seen ahead of us, "You never know. There's going to be alcohol here, and you know how that goes."

I let myself out of the car, my shoes crunching against the parking lots' gravel, "You _know _how I feel about alcohol."

The instant I waltzed into the smoky bar, I wanted to turn around and run as far away as I could. The sickening stench of hard liquor and beer wafted into my nose. The men all whistled.

"Oh look who showed up!" George Luz crooned, lifting a beer high above his head. 'American Patrol' wobbled on the small record player as the newly promoted Martin and Perconte shook hands.

When I looked up, I saw that Eugene had left my side and was already at the bar guzzling down a bottle of beer. Like a frightened little duckling, I scurried over to his side.

"Wanna drink, Lorrie?" Joe Toye slid a foaming glass down the warped bar as I struggled to hoist myself on a bar stool.

"Not only no, but _hell _no!"

The scratching needle was lifted from the black magic and in the silence I heard Joe mumble 'tight ass' under his breath.

"'Ten hut!"

Rolling my eyes, I straightened out the low hanging dress as a watched Colonel Sink stand before us on the stage. "You betcha…" I sang, just loud enough so Toye would hear.

"Well, at ease paratroopers. Good evening, Easy Company."

They echoed their excitement, "'Evening, sir!"

"Now parachute infantry is a brand new concept in American military history. By God, the 506 is going to forge that brand new concept into victory! I want you to know I'm damn proud of each and every one of you." He smiled down fondly and proudly at each of us. "Now you deserve this party-"

In the middle of his speech, Chuck Grant strolled up and casually handed Sink a glass of brimming beer. "Thank you, Sergeant Grant. So I want you to have fun… and remember our motto! Currahee!"

"CURRAHEE!" We all bellowed, raising our glasses into the smoky air.

I turned to find Luz holding the glass up to my nose once again. I just folded my fingers over the mouth and pushed it away. George's chocolate eyes spoke, "C'mon! It'll be fun!"

_"C'mon, honey! Going on a Sunday drive will be fun!" the father begged, already gathering up the children and fastening them in the back seat of the truck. _

I held my suddenly uneasy stomach, "I want a coke, you got a Coca-Cola?"

"Sure thing, doll face," Luz whistled.

"Yea, you sure are all dolled up tonight, cowgirl. What's the occasion? Rodeo going on tonight?" Muck teased, poking me in the ribs.

"_No_, but I don't know… just felt like dressing up. I _did _just get my Jump Wings," I ran my thumb along the cool, new steel pin now fastened to my chest.

My legs swung slowly with the easy tempo of the music, my heels clicking against the side of the stage. Watching them all shoot darts, talk about their girls and guzzle down booze, I spun the straw around the mouth of my coke bottle. I glanced down at my silk stocking, beginning to think I was just a waste. As I sat here lonely and isolated, I questioned my existence. Why weren't any of them asking me to dance?

"What's going on in that little head, Brave?" Eugene shook me from my trance.

"Why aren't they asking me to dance?" I pouted, "They don't like me, do they?"

He smoothed down my hair, "Of course they like you! The saps are just shy…"

"You're just saying that to make me feel better."

He smirked, "No, not this time. They really are shy!"

Ralph slowly made his way over to Gene and I, stumbling every third step or so. "What's this? The two moping medics? Why don't you two go dance?"

"The song isn't right," I lied, secretly hoping Gene would sweep me away. Anything to make this night memorable. As Gene and Spina chatted way about morphine and Rita Hayworth, I eyed Bull. The dim lighting of the bar highlighted his finer features- the swirls and curls in his short blonde hair. The brown glass of his beer bottle mirrored his striking blue eyes. His thick stub of a cigar wiggled as he chuckled with the men. I was so fatally attracted to this man, and I couldn't for the life of me explain why. The way his fingers moved along me before the jump today still made a shiver gallop down my spine. In all truth, I dolled myself up for _him_. But he hadn't even stolen one glance at me.

Tearing my eyes away from the man that was slowly stealing my heart, I saw Cobb hobble over to the three of us.

"Wanna dance?" He bluntly asked, taking the soda from my hand and giving it to Gene.

Spina furrowed his thick eyebrows, "Why do you want to dance with _her_?"

"Gotta take advantage of the only bitch in Easy, don't I?" Roy slurred, the bitter smell of whiskey wafting off his tongue with every word. I slammed my fists into his drunken shoulders, forcing him to crumple to the ground.

Tears burned in my eyes as I heard the music stop and all the men gasp. They were animals; all of them. I was just a show in stockings and a pretty red dress. I was a walking, talking pin up they felt they could play with. My heart ached as I eyed them all. I really truly had done this to myself. It was a dead end road- I had nowhere to go.

I tripped over my own feet, cutting myself a path as I ran through the men towards the flickering exit sign. The chilled night air collided with my bare skin and I began to walk, kicking the ground in my personal defeat.

Then the bar door squeaked open.

"C'mon, 'etta! Get back in here!"Hoobler's boyish voice was dripping with drunkenness. I just kept walking, the destroyed updo now swinging against my bare arms. The combs were still tangled in there somewhere.

Somebody captured my shoulders, spinning me around to face him. Donald's once smooth face was now dark and confused, the bright street lights seeming to hurt his eyes. He swayed in place, gripping my shoulders tighter as he mumbled out on last plea.

"Please come back, we all want you in there…"

"That so?" I raised an arched brow, "Then why was Roy _Cobb _the only man to offer me a dance? Huh? Why didn't Bull Randleman even _speak _to me? Can you answer that?"

"Ooh, you got the hots for Bull, cowgirl?" He slurred mischievously.

I dusted the truth off my shoulders, "Go away, Hoob. You're drunk as hell."

Mindlessly, I walked down the sidewalk. I paid no mind as jeep after jeep rolled down the mountain hill. Then one hit the brakes and swerved off just ahead of me. The tall figure manning the vehicle turned in his seat. I just figured it was drunken soldier, planning to ask me for a good time.

"Private Roselle?" Sobel's usually barking voice was mellow and concerned. "Is that you?"

I lowered my voice, mocking his. What the fuck did he want? "Captain Sobel, is that you?" I mocked, trying on how he said my name exactly.

"What are you doing wandering around at night dressed like that? Are you _begging _to get abducted?"

I continued to walk as he spoke, nudging the jeep a little further with each of my stride. I couldn't shake him off, "Why do you care? I'm a whore, remember?"

"I-I just said that to motivate you!" He said, offended. "Just get in the car, Roselle."

"No."

"You are a stubborn one, aren't you?" He practically laughed. Why was he being kind to me? "Just please get in?"

Feeling the soles of my feet begin to ache, I complied and hopped in over the door. Satisfied, Sobel drove off down the hill.

"… didn't have a good time, it looks like?"

I rubbed my eyes, still not believing I was about to have a conversation with this man I hated so much, "All men are assholes."

He shrugged his shoulders, "You'd have to try them all on first, Loretta."

"Well," I shrugged dramatically. "I don't feel like going through all of that pain. That's why I joined the Airborne… get the shit beat out of me."

"I did a pretty good job, didn't I?" He smiled over at me, watching as I let my head rest against the door. "Congratulations on earning your JumpWings, Roselle."

"I couldn't have gotten them without you."

Camp Toccoa developed into sight like a photograph, its blaring lights glaring down at me as we rolled through the main gates.

"Home sweet home," I irritably spat out to nobody in particular. "Take me to the aid station, will ya?"

I just remember the shy grin Sobel had as he helped me from the jeep. I swore I could feel his pulse as he escorted me to the doorstep; or maybe it was just my nursing senses coming out again.

"If it means anything…" he caught on his own words. "You look lovely tonight."

I twisted the toe of my shoe into the earth, "Thanks Captain… and thank you for the ride." I nodded shortly; hoping it would be the end of our affair. But then his large hand snatched as my wrist and he brought me back to face him.

The side of his thumb ran down the edge of my jaw, "I always did like you." When he came to my chin, the captain held it between his thumb and the knuckle of his index finger, "I just had a funny way of showing it. I'd like to change that, Roselle."

I swallowed hard, "Thank you again for the ride, Captain. Good night." I left him there at the door with his desires hanging.

Sobs wracked my body as I scratched and clawed at my face. I would do anything to get the sickening feeling of Herbert Sobel fingers' on my face off. The images of my lonely Coca-Cola in a room swimming with booze, pictures of my boys stumbling around, the all too familiar smells of my father still stinging my nose.

All I wanted was a soul to trust.

**This was a weird freakin' chapter. Sorry about that!**

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	9. Moving Out

**Am I dragging this out? I feel like I am. Is it going too slow? Let me know please! **

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Chapter Nine: Moving Out

A subtle rasp knocked at my brain. My fingers slapped the cool wooden surface of my humble bed stand, searching for a snooze knob. Cracking one eye open as I slid my hand down, I saw faintly that I moon was still young in the night.

The knocking persisted, like knuckles beating against my skull.

Grunting and groaning as I remembered about the men, I figured it was a drunken Eugene begging to let him in. I would have to nurse him like a wounded bird as he doubled over the toilet. The pine floorboards were cold under my bare feet and I knew it would be an early autumn this year.

Preparing my eyes to roll, I wrapped my shivering fingers around the chilled doorknob. As I swung it open, there was Bull Randleman. He was gazing up at the crisp sky, sucking in short gasps of smoke through his thick cigar.

"Heya, Boone. I tried finding you back there, but I noticed you had left. 'Figured you were in here… so I walked back."

The eyes that were about to roll then grew wide. "Why on earth did you walk all the way here?"

"'Cuz I wanted to see you. That's why." He held out the moist and rounded end of his cigar, "Want a lungful?"

"Bull, you know I hate that…" I warned, placing a gentle hand on my hip.

Apologizing with his gleaming eyes that twinkled down at me like the stars above, he tossed the thick cancer stick to the earth. Grinding and twisting the smolders under his boot, Bull abruptly took my hand.

"The reason I was looking for you it 'cause I wanted to dance with you."

I slowly yanked back my fingers, "Bull, you're drunk."

He playfully slapped his gut, "Boone, it takes a lot to take down this bull."

"I guess your name fits then, doesn't it?"

"I guess," he grasped my fingertips once more. "It does."

God, he was intoxicating.

"Dammit, I'm in my nightgown!" I pulled against him.

"Shuddup." He drawled and I heard the smile on his lips.

"_You _shut up!" A burning feeling grew in the pit of my stomach. It tasted like anger. "Why was it so hard to ask me to dance at the party? It's not like I was getting swept away by anybody else…"

Answerless, he wrapped a heavy arm around my waist, raising me slightly higher.

"I don't want to dance," I mumbled plainly.

"We're doing it anyway."

I planted a firm punch in his gut, as I couldn't reach any higher. "Christ, you make it sound like this was a bet!"

"…and if it was?"

I shoved him away one last time. "What, are the boys all watching us?!"

A crooked smile emerged on his smug face. I promptly began waving my two middle fingers around in the cool air, intended for the men.

"Lord, Boone," he _gently _shoved my shoulder. "I'm just shitting on you."

I just looked up at him with a bewildered look painted on my face. "Whatever, I'm going back to bed."

"No you're not!" he chased after me, hooking his goliath fingers on my thin shoulder. I felt a small but definite grin creep up on my lips, pink dancing on my cheeks.

"Oh, you wanna play that game?" I taunted, nailing my small fists into his chest. Much to my dismay, it probably felt like a tickle to the giant of a man.

With one teasing finger against my forehead, he pushed me back so I almost fell. Flapping and spinning my arms to regain my balance, I continued to giggle. We pushed and tackled, dancing in our own unique way. Our bodies weren't pressed together and a slow tempo wasn't coaxing our feet, but I was happy.

"Ow, Boone!" he dramatically rubbed his shoulder, in which I had just socked. "You're getting stronger."

"My father made me tough," Suddenly all the fun and games drained away. I thought of how he punched, and how his laughing face looked so much like my father's. I had to get away from these vicious memories biting at my ankles. "Goodnight, Bull."

"I'm so sorry, Boone… I forgot!"

As I quickly looked back at him, my heart pounded a strong beat of confusion against my ribs. "I wish I could," I murmured under my breath, walking firmly towards my barracks. Bull's heavy footsteps following closely behind, begging me to stay with each footfall.

Refusing to look at him, I rested my forehead against the door as I fumbled with the knob. "Please, I want to spend time with you." He slid his hand over my shoulder, squeezing slightly.

Gasping with the touch, I whipped around to face him. "Don't you see? I can't love you. I can't trust you. I can't trust any of these men… my father stole any hope of trusting another soul away from me."

Tears prickling my eyes, I quickly slipped through the small opening of the door. I left Denver standing there, as the fading orange glow of his cigar lay in the dirt beneath him. I don't know how I would ever get him, or any of them, to understand.

We were moving out tomorrow. As I pattered off to my cold cot, I made the stubborn decision that I was only here to save these men. I couldn't develop relationships, for the fear I would get attached and then I wouldn't be able to save them. There should be no love in war; the two emotions contradict each other. Though I hadn't even tasted war, I felt that _war _was an emotion.

B.o.B.

I woke up the next morning to find Eugene sprawled pathetically on the doorstep. I kicked his limp body as drool drenched his collar.

"Get up, Gene. We're movin' out." I looked up and out as I adjusted the heavy duffle bag on my shoulder. In the field ahead of me was where Bull and I 'danced' last night, and I still felt so uneasy about the whole thing.

He slowly sat up, holding his throbbing head and clutching his stomach, "Oh God, Brave… I think I'm hungover…"

"Good," I said down mercilessly to him, stepping over his legs. "You deserve it."

B.o.B.

**Camp Mackall, North Carolina**

**June 23****rd****, 1943**

"Petty! Map!" Sobel flailed his arms dramatically. I sat crouched down beside Eugene, digging at the sides of my thumbs. Sobel broke into a sweat as he gawked down at a map. Winters slid down the wall of the trench and whispered advice to Sobel.

"Second platoon- fall out!" Winters raspily ordered. None of us could believe our ears. Richard winced at us as if to say 'that's an order'. "Tactical column!"

I stood up as I readjusted my satchel and helmet. The men flooded out like water out a broken dam, throwing mortar plates over their shoulders, holding their rifle's at the ready. As we all walked in one band, the foliage ahead of us emerged and grew a pair of legs. Being 'nervous in the service' one man flung himself to the muddy earth, but I just readied my stance and stubbornly stood there. I glared at the blue team which was 1st platoon. A short man with an official looking clipboard gathered failed details about what just happened.

"Captain, you've just been killed along with 95 percent of your company. Your outfit?"

"Easy Company, Second Battalion, 506."

"Leave three wounded men on the ground, and report back to the assembly area."

From under the rim of my oversized helmet, I stared at Bull. His dense frame towered over even the taller men. I then glanced over at Eugene, he pressed his lips together, his pink face lined with frustration.

"You, you, and you," Sobel haughtily pointed at three men with his drawn handgun. Christenson, Toye and Guarnere sat on the damp golden pine needles beneath us.

"Can you believe this, cowgirl!?" Bill spat out, throwing his helmet down.

"No, I can't. We got to get rid of that son of a bitch." I agreed, miming around Bill.

Joe's rasp cooed its opinion, "I doesn't matter where we go- Europe or the Pacific- we can't have Sobel leading the company. We'll be dead before we touch the soil… he'll probably put us in a Kraut plane or something."

I chuckled along with Pat, and Joe even made Gene grin. These _were_ good men.

"Just go along with it, boys… Winters will take care of us."

"What, that Quaker?"

I looked up from my bag, "Who says he's a Quaker?"

"He ain't catholic."

I just rolled my eyes, "And what's so bad about that?"

"Cowgirl… they have seizures when they pray." Bill confirmed, talking as if it was something straight from a horror film.

I smack him lightly upside the head, earning smirks from the other three men.

B.o.B.

**Brooklyn Naval Shipyard **

**September 6****th****, 1943**

_Dear Sir or Madam,_

_ Soon your son will drop from the sky to engage and defeat the enemy. Your frequent letter of love and encouragement will arm him with a fighting heart. With that, he cannot fail, but will win glory for himself; make you proud and his country forever grateful for his service in its hour of need. _

_Signed,_

_Herbert M. Sobel_

_Captain Commanding_

Eugene fastened the buckle at the back of my white canvas life jacket, "There ya go, safe and sound."

"Hardly," I weakly scoffed. "I've never been on a ship before, Gene."

"Who hasn't been on a ship?"

"I live in Oklahoma…" I winked, and his thin lips curved.

Gene poked my chest with one finger, "This is a true fact."

A soldier bumped into my shoulder, stumbling off without an apology. I was just another man, with a destiny to get killed. They bustled and swarmed around me like bees. The ground began to spin under me.

"I have to go, you'll be okay?"

I wove my shaking arms around his neck, "I feel bad… for the men. They had a home, with a family and now they have to leave it.

He gave my waist a short squeeze then held my hands, "This is your family now. Those men just want to protect you… but you have to let them."

"I'm not good at that, Gene."

"Everything is behind you now, Brave. The Keeper gave you that name for a reason."

Eugene brought me in for one more hug, before the blow horn bellowed deep and loud. The soldier's pace quicken, piling onto the broad deck of the cargo ship. I was a piece of cargo.

"Look, there's Malarkey! Go with him," Doc quickly kissed my forehead before shoving me towards the red head like a mother pushing a nervous child onto the bus. How I yearned for the simplicity of those days.

I pushed and shoved through the sea of rowdy men, clinging onto Don's arm the minutes I got near him. "Eh, watch where you're going!"

"It's just me, Don."

"Oh, Loretta!" He beamed, ruffling my hair, "You ready for this?"

Eyeing the towering men above me, I felt so small and unimportant, "Not really." Still holding onto his olive sleeve, we walked up the ramp and onto the large deck with white railing circling around the edge.

There she was, Lady Liberty. Her slim frame draped with folds of green fabric was silhouetted by the setting sun. A last blow was belted from the horn, and the ship glided into motion. With his hand held reassuringly on the small of my back, Malarkey gently guided me to the railing. He knew I was scared.

"There she is!" Luz clapped my back and winked at Malarkey. We watched the grand and breathtaking statue disappear as we sailed off to a land shadowed by a war. Even Bull gnawed on his cigar, speechless as the beauty of the pink sea.

"Anybody know where the sleeping quarters are?" I timidly asked, my high voice sticking out like a sore thumb.

"I was just headed that way," Denver coolly offered. He took three strides near me, and the blue color of his eyes sunk to the bottom of his eyes. I felt like such a child when he was in front of me like this.

We dove and dashed through the crowd of men, dodging the sporadic piles of vomit on the wooden deck. "Haven't seen you in a while, Boone."

I awkwardly wrung my hands together, my small voice dripping with shyness, "Well, yea… with training and all, you know." The truth was, I was avoiding him all this time.

"Of course," he jabbed the thick cancer stick back in his lips. "Here you are." Yellow light escaped from the fogged up windows of two swinging doors. As man after man emerged from the hell hole, a gust of Lucky Strike smoke would flood outside.

"Are you coming inside?"

"Nah, not tired yet." He was so uninterested in me; his eyes wandering and watching everything but me. I really fucked up that night.

"Thanks for showing me the way, Sergeant," I spat out his rank with a nastier tone than I intended.

"Sure thing, _Private_." I expected him to wink down at me with such a harsh remark as that, but instead he turned and left me there. Just like I had done to him.

Gritting my teeth, I pushed through the heavy doors. Brown cork boots swung and dangled from the overhanging cots, the putrid stench of cigarette smoke stinging my nose. I recognized nobody and wished Don would have stayed faithfully by my side. Why would he? I was treating these men so poorly. It was their fault I was so messed up.

Forgetting to put my hair up and hide my femininity, the strangers took notice. Their shrill whistles called out, wandering hands reaching down and trying to grab at my rear. As I pushed through their legs, I felt like crying. Some grabbed at my wrists, trying to yank me into their cot. Nasty comments rained down at me, and a nauseous feeling raved at my stomach.

"Leave her the fuck alone!" an unfamiliar voice ordered the entire room to be silent… and it worked. Like guilty children, the disrespectful men slunk back into their cots. I turned round, finding the commander of Dog Company carefully watching me. Ronald Speirs was his name, and the handsome shadows cast on his face struck fear in all of the men.

"I would expect Dog Company to treat a lady better!" He hurried over to me, looking me up and down with worried dark eyes. "Are you alright, ma'am?"

"I'm fine," I jerked back the wrist he had taken. "I'm just trying to find Easy Company. I'm their combat nurse."

"They are the next company down, just a ways," he pointed over my shoulder.

"Thanks," I nodded curtly, trying to avoid his stinging eyes.

Now with a low murmur of 'who's that' and 'what is she doing here' floating around, I quickly shoved my way through to some face I recognized. Except, they were all crowded around two people.

"What the hell is going on here?!" I shouted over their own yells, spotting Liebgott holding his nose as blood oozed through his fingers. I glanced over to the other side of the aisle, spotting Guarnere with blood trickling from a busted lip. "Dammit, boys…"

Digging through my shoulder bag, I pulled out a small vile of iodine and some swabs. It was almost as if Eugene knew this would happen, as this was the first lesson the Cajun man gave me.

"That stuff stings!" Bill flapped his hands around, like a stubborn child.

"Maybe you shouldn't have gotten yourself into trouble, you big baby! Now hold still," I bent back his head so his wound was in good light. I tenderly dabbed the clear medicine into the split skin, watching Bill's eyes scrunch into a wince.

By now all the men had gone into their separate cots, but Liebgott rocked back and forth as he held his nose. "Maybe if you kiss it, the pain will go away."

"Not a chance, Bill," I smiled at him, making my way over to the other victim of the dispute.

Joe's nose was already swelling, with hues of black and blue creeping up his skin. "You got 'em good, Bill." I laughed, trying to lighten up the tension.

"Kind of hard to miss with a nose like that!"

"Why I oughta!" Joe stood up, but was forced back down with the pain.

"Stop it, you two! You are supposed to be comrades! Now fucking _act _like it!" I screamed, not kidding around anymore. Once they were settled down, I began cleansing Joe's nose and blood away. Next I wrapped it firmly, holding the fractured bone in place.

"It's too swollen now," I whispered, not wanting Bill to get any more satisfaction. "We'll ice it tomorrow. I'm going to try and get some sleep, and I expect you to do the same."

"But I'm not tired," he cringed, even talking making his snout hurt.

I playfully narrowed my eyes at him, "Doctor's orders!"

Both Bill and Joe laid down and closed their eyes. I just stood in the cleared aisle for a few minutes, waiting until I heard their breathing slow and deepen. A smile crept onto my lips as I watched their chest rise and fall, and their eyes peacefully closed.

I began climbing up the cots hanging along the walls like paintings. "You're a good nurse, Loretta." I quickly looked down, shocked by the mention of my name. "Nobody else could get them to sit still, let alone sleep."

"'Night Perco," I smiled at the little pocket-sized Italian, humbled by his compliment.

"Goodnight, Lottie." Perconte lay down from his elbows and nodded off into his own slumber.

As I reached my creaky bed for the night, I was inspired to write to Johnny. I pulled out the nub of an old pencil and a wrinkled scrap of an empty doctor's note. Once I told him of how I was on my way to a war, and how I had earned my wings and of the men, I was rocked to sleep by the lulling waves.

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	10. Every Gun Sings Its Own Song

**Finally an update!**

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**Every Gun Sings It's Own Song**

After Joe and Bill had finally apologized to each other, we ported in England and the Regiment settled in Aldbourne. All of the other men had to be housed with English families, while I was lucky and was able to stay in the Aid station. Spina and I had grown closer, and I felt like he was the guy that would always be on my side. I hadn't had a decent conversation with Bull since the ship encounter, other than a quick nod when I caught him in town. His blue eyes that seemed so small in comparison to his body had found a way into my dreams. I guess I should call them nightmares rather, because I kept seeing him shot. Bloody and dying and I didn't have the chance to give him the love I had to offer. Gene, on the other hand, kept staring at me. I chose to ignore it because I love Eugene, but I'm here to save my brothers.

"Stop that!" I narrowed my eyes at my fellow medic. No response. "Eugene Gilbert Roe! Stop it!"

He lightly shook his head, "W-wha…?"

"Looking at me like that," I teasingly smiled. "What? You get into Nixon's booze?"

Doc's face flooded red, and he quickly looked down to hide his embarrassment. "I'm sorry, I didn't even realize, Brave." He mumbled under his breath.

A plane and its partner growled overhead, rattling the thin window panes. I tried desperately to concentrate on the lesson Eugene was giving me on the effects of morphine, but my skin began to crawl.

"Gene?" I slammed down the stack of paper I had been feverously been scribbling on.

He lowered the syrette to his front, "Yes?"

"I gotta get out there. I'm gonna fucking punch a wall or something," I practically screamed, hearing the luring sounds of rifles and other gunfire pop off. Unlike other people, I was mesmerized by the rhythmic sound of a gun. Every gun sings its own song. I guess that's why I'm a 'good' field nurse- I can run into gunfire and not be too afraid. What I'm really afraid of is the men getting shot. Why? Because I'll miss them. At least if I get killed, nobody would miss me.

"Brave, I'm in the middle of a lesson."

"And I'm in the middle of flipping my shit." My toes curled painfully tight in the boots that were 4 sizes too big for me.

Doc tore his frustrated eyes from mine, glancing down at his issued wristwatch, "Second and first platoon are out there now. I guess some field experience would be good for you…"

"Thank you!" I sarcastically threw my hands into the air, and shook them like I was in the middle of a dramatic service. Dashing over to the door like a dog that knew it was about to be taken on a walk, I bounced on my heels.

"Roselle, you don't even have your gear." He said dryly, walking over with a rain coat, helmet and my medical satchel.

Hastily I slapped the helmet over my mass of hair that hung past my elbows. "Let's get going!" I trotted out of the aid station into the drizzly English air. England was dreadful. The sun never shone, and the earth was always muddy. Little did I know one day England would be the greatest place on Earth next to home. It would be the closest thing to _home_.

"You should have been a soldier, Brave," Eugene mumbled, sluggishly trailing behind me.

"You have no idea…"

He smirked, "Do you even know where they are?"

I turned and faced him, the excitement dowsing, "Lead the way?"

B.o.B.

"Where you two going?" Ralph Spina whistled from behind. He was one his way to the aid station, late for Gene's lesson.

"Field practice with second platoon, you wanna come with us?" I sung, my blood still boiling with the thought of being out on the 'line'.

"Why weren't you at the lesson, Spina?" Roe interrogated the raspy voiced medic. Speen chose to ignore the question. "You two go with second, I'll tag onto first. Okay?" Eugene was still terribly unenthusiastic.

First platoon… Bull was in first. I secretly wanted to join Gene, but didn't want my fellow medics catching onto these undesirable feelings brewing.

"Tell Randleman I say 'hey', will you?" I sheepishly hollered at him as he headed East, following the hedge that lined the road.

"Give me the map," Ralph ordered, just as anxious to get out there as I was.

I pulled the folding parchment from my breast pocket; the issued one for Aldbourne. We playfully rested our helmeted heads together as we studied the winding lines.

"We need to head west, and go along with fence just south of this open field," I ordered confidently, remembering back to a time when my father was willing to teach me how to read a map.

A puff of steam came from Speen's lips as he hooted, "Jeezus, Lots. You shoulda been an intelligence officer!"

Folding back up the map, I retorted, "Gene thinks I should be a soldier, and you think I should have Nixon's job. Who am I supposed to believe?"

"Me." He said with a straight face, "I'm always right. Plus, Doc is too distracted by that pretty little face of yours to make any sense of what he is saying."

My heart stopped, and my boots slowed down. "Huh?" was all I could muster.

"Roe, he likes you, 'etta." There wasn't a trace of joking on my comrade's face.

"Gene doesn't have any feelings for me, Speen. I mean, c'mon! All he does is scold me for not paying attention, or not pumping fast enough, or giving the dummy too much morphine… I can't win with him!"

"He just does that because that's how he acts when he's nervous." Ralph reassuringly smoothed the tangled mass of hair falling down my back.

I clenched my jaw, "Can we stop talking about him? I don't feel comfortable with it."

We marched casually along the fence in awkward silence. My brain couldn't even process Eugene having any sort of affection for me. I didn't want him to. I didn't want Doc to have those kinds of feelings for me; I didn't want our relationship to be threatened by something so petty. In my time with Easy, I had come to the conclusion that love was overrated.

"Ralph?"

"What's doing, what's happening?" He smoothly asked, clearly pleased the silence was over.

I brought my golden hair over my shoulder, stroking the course strands, "Could you do me a favor when we get back tonight?"

"Depends on what it is, girly."

"I want my hair gone."

I heard his dry lips part in astonishment, "What?!"

"It's such a bother, and I can't do anything with it. I'm not talking bald, but I just want the length _gone_."

"You _do _realize women everywhere would _kill _to have hair like this?" He grasped my wavy mane. "You're sure?"

"My opinion on the matter might change when the time comes, but as of right now… I'd really appreciate the help."

He shrugged his shoulders, "Why me? Shifty'd do a much better job."

"Because I asked you to, and I want _you _to do it."

Ralph gently clapped my back, "I'll do it then, cowgirl. For you."

A red telephone booth developed into sight, and a humble old man squeaked by on his timeless bicycle.

Spina lifted his helmet and scratched his scalp, "We're lost, aren't we?"

"Yea, looks like it-"

"HI-HO-SILVER!" an all too familiar voice boomed all through England.

"Ah, fuck! It's Sobel!" Ralph cried, snatching up my wrist and pulling me into the ditch beside the road. "Get down…"

I silently prayed second platoon wouldn't spot us, and we could just tag along to the end of them. Crouching down next to Spina, our steaming breath collided in the chilly air. I squinted my eyes to find a lean figure tipping his helmet to that same humble old bloke.

"What the hell? Is that Lieutenant Winters?" I breathed, watching as he trotted over to our side of the road.

"Good work first platoon, you've completed the objective." He said, smiling proudly to his men as second panted to a stop.

I yanked up Spina, my eyes instantly landing on Eugene and then Bull. "Holy shit, boys! We didn't even know you were there! Nice job."

Ralph pinched me with my outburst. Something about being around Bull made me stupid. I caught him throw a quick glance in my direction, then he continued gnawing on his thick cigar. It was now steadily raining, and as Winters and Sobel conversed bitterly, I saw him attempt to light his smoldering cigar.

Apparently I made him act stupid, too.

B.o.B.

Perconte had somehow convinced me to go watch some of the boys play basketball. He said something along the lines of, 'You need to relax and take a break. And, Bull will be there…" How the hell did he know anything about him?

So there I was pretending not to drool as I nonchalantly watched two of Easy's most attractive men dribble a leather ball. Malarkey was extremely built, but not so muscular it was grotesque. Then Bull was there, with his suspenders. I'll be honest… I have a fetish with suspenders. Especially when they are on Denver Randleman. The way they cross through his broad and strong shoulders, and how he tossed the basketball right into the hoop. I had it bad for him.

"Having fun, Lots?" Perconte called as he passed the ball to Hashey.

I lifted my head from the medical encyclopedia I had cradled in my lap.

"Get your nose outta that goddamn book!"

I cleared my throat, "Well, _when_ you get shot in the ass, Perco, you'll be damn glad I know how to patch it up."

This earned me a roar of laughter, and I couldn't help my smile at my small victory. Bull tossed the ball into the makeshift basket with ease, and leaned against the spare tire of the jeep I was sitting in.

"You should smile more often like that, Boone." I loved when he called me by that name. It was because only he called me that, and it was ours. "You've got a beautiful smile."

Blushing furiously, I bent down my head and hid my grinning teeth.

"How you been, Boone? 'Haven't talked to you in forever."

I pursed my lips with the sour words I was about to say, "Oh, don't pretend to care, Bull Randleman! You can't just be an asshole, and then expect me to be a cheery little bundle of flowers when you decide to pull your head out of your ass!"

The men playing basketball grew deathly silent, bring their game to a halt. "What the hell are you talking about?" He stood straight from leaning, furrowing his blonde eyebrows.

"Remember, _Sergeant_?" I snarled at him. My blood boiling, I then pretended to be extremely interested in my encyclopedia again. "Go away."

"Fine, I will." I almost cringed, expecting him to cruelly finish it off with 'private'. "C'mere, boys… the other NCO's got this idea."

His southern accent crooned and lured my ears to eavesdrop. This was his ultimate plan, of course. Why must I be so naive?

"We all want Sobel fucking out, don't we?" He looked each of them in the eyes, looking like a quarterback rallying his teammates before a big game. Malarkey glanced over his shoulder from the huddle to check and see if I was listening to them. I shot my eyes back down to the minute print of my textbook, but still tuned my ears like a radio.

"Then we turn it into Sink, and either he's out or we are. We're all meeting in the barn to sign it. Y'all for it?"

They all nodded.

Almost involuntarily I slammed shut the book and hopped from the tailgate of the jeep. "What the fuck? You can't do that!" I punched Malarkey firmly in the shoulder, "You'll be lined up against a wall and _shot_!"

Don was innocently nursing his bruising muscle, "Jeezus, 'etta! Just because you like Bull doesn't mean you have to take it out on us!"

I raised a clenched fist a half a centimeter away from his nose, "Shut the hell up, or I'll plant another one, Don."

He recoiled and whimpered away like a scared dog. "Now, anybody else want to test me?"

"I will," Bull stepped forward, pressing his chest up to mine. His hot face from the game got down to my level, and a knowing smile crawled on his lips. "I just did that to piss you off."

I punched my two small fists into his gut, which probably felt like a tickle to him. "You did a damn good job, asshole." I crossed my arms around the book and sternly walked away.

"Wait, Boone!" He called after me, but all I did was dramatically roll my eyes. "Please," his voice boomed in my ear as he pulled back my right shoulder. "I wasn't shitting on you completely; the NCO's really are doing that thing about Sobel."

I shook my head, not believing the stupidity I was experiencing, "You are a complete dumbass."

"Sobel will be gone, Boone. We won't have to jump with him, he won't lead us in combat." I let out a small gasp as Bull's goliath hand engulfed my own. His icy blue eyes twinkled, "And most importantly… he can't treat you like shit. You don't deserve to be treated like that, Boone. Nobody does."

I had to catch my breath, forgetting to breathe with the intoxity of this man's words. Blinking multiple times, I finally found the words nipping at my tongue, "You're just saying that because you know you were an ass on the ship here."

"I was an ass, and I'm sorry." He gave my hand two small squeezes, "But I meant what I just said. I can't stand to see him treat you like that. I've killed him more times in my sleep than I have Krauts."

I squeezed his hot hand back, "Do want you need to do, but just don't leave this company."

"I won't," one corner of his lips revealed his white teeth.

"And now, I'm about to go get a haircut." I beamed, "See you around, Bully."

Leaving him to stand with that pleasant smile on his face, I jogged off to where Spina was waiting for me. My hair swished around my waist, and I held in that free feeling. I fisted my hand, wanting to hold in the warm touch of Bull's skin.

B.o.B.

"Are you _absolutely _sure, Loretta?" Spina leaned forward to look into my eyes.

I tied off the wrist thick braid, and flung it over my shoulder. I couldn't wipe the smug smile off my face, "I'm absolutely, positively sure Ralphie."

I heard him digging around his bag for the proper pair of gauze cutting shears. "Okay, just promise me you won't be mad at me if this looks like shit afterwards."

I giggled, "I won't, I promise."

He opened the metal scissors and grasped the braid. Sighing, he dropped my hair and questioned my judgment once more, "Are you _sure_?"

"Just do it," I laughed, rolling my eyes.

_Snip. Snip. Snip._

The sharpened shears cut through the coarse strands with a struggling. A gasped at the feeling of 20 grenades getting lifted off of my head. Spina sounded like he was going to cry and I ran my fingers through the know tighter waves. Shaking my head, I couldn't help but smile. Spinning on my toes as I tousled and played with it, I stopped my gawking to hug Spina.

"Well, how does it look?" I practically laughed.

Opening his eyes for the fear I would be killing him, he smiled along with me, "You look beautiful, cowgirl."  
I dashed over to the supply closet to fetch up a bedpan. There were no mirrors here, so I had to use what was available. The brunette frisky waves played around my round face, and they were free and light. We had cut it long enough she I could still pull it back during combat and surgery, but now it wouldn't get closed into doors and fly around in the English wind.

"I love it, Speen!" I exclaimed, still running my stubby fingers through it.

He wrung up his lips, "I bet Bull will, too."

"Oh, shush," I playfully glared at him, admiring it in the bedpan all along.

**To clear things up, I know I have the platoons mixed up. No matter how many time I watch this miniseries, I cannot keep which guys are in which platoon. So, just go along with it, please! :p**

**Sorry my updating has been sporadic, but I operate on coffee and inspiration and unfortunately the latter has been low. **

**Since you took the time to read, could you take a moment to review? Thank you so much!**


	11. They Called Me 'Mae West'

**Glad y'all enjoyed the last chapter! I'm so sorry about the lack of updates, but I've been studying for finals, doing holiday shopping/cooking and caring for a very sick chick! **

_callalilly357_**: You are absolutely correct, and thank you for pointing that out! :)**

**Enjoy!**

**They Called Me 'Mae West'**

I was entirely in love with my 'new' hair, and that was the truth of the matter. I couldn't help but flounce about my room and run my calloused hands through the honey colored curls. The morning after Ralph had assisted me in taking that leap of faith, I had taken a hot shower. England was treating me beautifully, for the record. Anyway, I couldn't believe the curls I was weighing down with my previous mane. They wrapped and embraced around my rounded jaw line.

I think when the time came for us to depart from England, I would be more upset than leaving home. But honestly, that isn't saying much coming from my perspective. The little curious cat at the back of mind wondered how father was fearing, and how Johnny was getting along. I tried to distract the 'feline' by pitying the men. They had families back home that loved them. Most of them still had their siblings and mothers. My father was practically deceased to me…

"LORETTA!" The front door of the aid station blasted open, the doorknob leaving a dent in the wall behind it.

I terrified threw my makeshift mirror on the surgery table, "Holy shit! WHAT?!"

Hoobler had a shit-eating grin slathered across his round face as he panted, "Sobel… he's gone! The NCO's got rid of him! Can you believe it?" He practically sung, wrapping his arm around my waist and spinning me around in a victory polka.

I lightly shoved him away, "Wait, what? Bull said something, but… what? Sobel is gone? Nadda? No more dickweed?"

He gently knocked my head, "That's what I said, silly! Doc needs to check your hearing."

"Shuddyap…" I smirked. "Now who's commander?"

"Meehan, or at least that's what I heard."

I shrugged my shoulders, "Well, anybody is better than Sobel."

Don snapped his fingers and playfully narrowed his eyes, "This is a true fact- holy shit! YOUR HAIR!"

I giggled, resting both hands on my waist, "You just _now _noticed?"

"Were did it all go?"

I slapped back his curious hand and warded off his wide eyes, "Spina chopped it all off for me. You like it?"

"You look real cute, Etta." He said sheepishly.

I shyly tucked a lock behind my ear, "I hope Bull says the same."

"So you do like him? You've got him all confused with your weird ways… poor guy doesn't know what to do with himself."

I feel my guilty heart whimper, "I didn't know he felt that way too. I feel bad I'm so 'weird' around him, but Denver just does that to me. I don't know if it's a good thing or a bad thing…but he drives me wild."

Hoobler elbowed me, "I'll let you in on a secret… he says the same thing every night in the barracks to the men." He pulled away from whispering in my ear, with a sly smile.

"You're shittin' on me."

"I'm as serious about this as I am about Sobel being gone, Loretta."

I practically felt my face light up like a million bright stars. I had a sudden urge to go see him.

"See you around, Hoobs." I patted his back and jogged out of the building with a grin.

Still in shape with jump training, I easily ran through the town without breaking a sweat. I felt so clean inside… Sobel was gone and Bull was on my mind. I was always happy when Bull was on my mind. I went to the basketball hoop they were playing around yesterday, knowing they still had too much time on my hands.

There he was, dwarfing Luz as they took turns shooting free-throws. I paused and caught my breath, taking in the perverse sight of his muscular shoulders at work. _He drove me wild_.

"How's my boys?" I whistled, making them quickly glance. They hadn't noticed…

"Hey there, Mae," Luz grunted as he tossed the leather into the basket.

Denver slapped the ball against the cobblestone three times before taking his shot, "Afternoon, Boone."

"Are you fellows going to even acknowledge my existence?" I crossed my arms over my chest with a huff. "And why the hell did you call me Mae, George?"

"You know, after the rifle and all- Holy shit! YOUR HAIR!"

I chuckled as I watched the ball mindlessly roll down the street. "Nice of you to notice!"

"Boone! What happened!?" Bull rushed to me, and my heart thumped.

"Spina helped me last night. Do you like it?"

He blushed and bit his lip ever so slightly, "Yea, it's cute."

Now my face was the one burning up, "What about you Luzzie?"

He nonchalantly chased after the ball, clearly trying to leave us alone. "Looks good, Mae."

I bent my head back to meet his eyes, "So you really do like it? It's going to get some getting used to-"

"I love it, just like you," Bull spluttered out plainly.

I beamed, "What a great day this is… _the _Denver Randlemen 'likes' me and Sobel is gone. I could live with this… I guess."

"Don't get too cheery, Boone. I heard we're moving out soon."

"I had a feeling we would be… damn, I was just starting to like England."

My stomach churned with heavy worry. What if I never came back to England? What if I never saw another day? What if Bull got hurt and I couldn't save him? What if…?

"You're doing it again…"

I shook my head lightly, "Doing what?"

"Staring off."

I flashed my most brilliant smile, "Sorry, just doing some thinking. I just wanted you to see my hair; I gotta head off."

"So soon?"

"It just occurred to me I might be thrown into a war, and I'm supposed to be able to rescue all of you!" I winked up at him. "I'll see you around, Bully boy."

He scuffed his boot along the earth beneath us, "C-can I have a hug from you?" For such a big man, he had such a shy heart.

Playfully, I stood on the toes of his boot and hooked my chin over his massive shoulder. Squeezing him tightly to match his strength, I saw Luz making mock kissing faces at us.

"Luz is making fun of us," I laughed into his neck.

"Go piss up a rope, George!" Bull called loudly, instantly making our teasing friend stop. Then, he hummed as he grasped me tighter, as if he didn't ever want to let go.

B.o.B.

*_back at the barracks_*

"And then they sway gently as Mae whispers loving things in Bull's ear…" Luz projected, telling the overdramatic story of 'the hug'. "I'm telling you guys… it was straight out of a Sinatra song or something!"

I rolled my eyes and chucked a pair of my panties at him, "Don't listen to him, boys. All we did was quickly embrace."

"With your face that red, even I don't believe it was 'just an embrace'," Martin called, clearly happy for his best friend.

"We're moving out to the airbase. Pack your things." Winters stern face peeped around the door.

Luz swallowed and his smile slid, "'This it?"

"This is it," Richard nodded.

I looked around at the men who's moods had all diminished. I wrung my fingers together, feeling the sticky anxiety flood our bodies. The jump was coming, and I wasn't sure if I was ready for the beginning of my life to end.

B.o.B.

I peered over Hoob's shoulder as he admired the Lugar in his hands.

"Be careful with that, Hoobs…" I warned with a whisper.

"Aye, who's the broad?" Asked the British bloke with a Kraut helmet 20 sizes too small for his melon head. s

Don wouldn't take his eyes from the lethal pistol, "A field nurse in the company."

"Oi! That's how you describe me?" I retorted, smacking the back of his helmet. "Thanks Hoobs."

He ignored me, seemingly possessed by the slick treasure in his hands, "Hey Petty!"

Petty took his attention away from Talbert and raised two eyebrows at kid-like Hoobler.

"Aye, mate!" The mock German-British soldier called, watching Hoobler trot off with his weapon like it was his. He mumbled some thick accented rubbish, and Don unwillingly handed back the pistol. Don went back over to Petty, bragging about how he had touched a 'real live Luger'.

I was rolling my eyes on the outside, but feeling confused and awkward on the outside. I had been with these men for nearly two years, but I still didn't feel like I fit in. Whether it was because I was a woman, or that I was just painfully shy… I couldn't find my place. Honestly, I didn't trust them. I didn't even trust Bull. I've been through a lot of shit, and for some reason I believed sending myself off to war would improve the situation.

Men frightened me. So why was I always surrounded by them? It was my decision to be here… Truthfully, I felt like I had screwed up as I was wandering mindlessly around.

"Three day supply of K-rations, chocolate bars, Charms candy, powdered coffee, sugar, matches, compass, bayonet, entrenching tool, ammunition, gas mask, musette bag with ammo, my weapon, my .45, canteen, two cartons of smokes, Hawkins mine, two grenades, smoke grenade, Gammon grenade, TNT, THIS BS, and a pair of nasty skivvies!" Joe Toye spewed behind me, without taking a breath.

"What's your point?" Frank wobbled as he stood up. My pocket Italian couldn't even stand with basic gear on… I guess I had no room to talk as I plowed into Talbert.

I could still hear Joe drone on with his complaints as I heard Tab read the scrabble of a letter on the top of the box. "Give 'em hell…" He reached in and pulled out a beautiful handgun, "Man, you gotta love cops!" He grinned a toothy smile, addressing the Kokomo police department back in Indiana.

My head was spinning around as Lipton made a solemn shout out, "Alright, listen up! If you did not sign your GI life insurance policy, go over and see Sergeant Evans at the headquarters company tent!" He lowered his voice, "Boys, don't let your family miss out on 10,000 dollars."

"What family?" I murmured under my breath, "They're all fucking dead."

Liebgott rest his hand smoothly on my lower back, "You ain't got a family back home, Etta?"

"No I _ain't got _no family back home, Joe!" I shoved his arms away, still not liking human contact, "You know that."

God, he was so easy to get mad at.

They all eyed me, clearly worried my ends were fraying. I secretly prayed the heavy clouds above us would brew up a storm, just so we didn't have to jump tonight. I couldn't do that right now.

"Jeezus, I'm sorry Lieb. It's just; you know they're all dead. All of you better not die too." I felt my throat close up, "You're all I got…"

Martin strutted by with a letter clenched in his hand and mustered a weak smile when he noticed the tears hanging dangerously on the rims of my eyelids. "I need to go get ready myself."

Keeping my eyes low, I couldn't help but see as Malarkey practically suffocated himself with a rucksack. "Why are they springing these things on us now?"

"It's just another 80 pounds strapped to your leg," Luz sarcastically said.

"Yea, quit your bitchin' Malark," I called, teasingly.

"What are you talking about? You don't even have anything on!"

I tapped the white red cross band pinned to my left arm, "I'm a nurse, not a soldier. Remember?"

"Yea, yea…" Guarnere spooned soupy melted ice cream into his mouth.

"Gimme some of that," I called, plopping right down beside him. Like taking candy from a baby, I swiped it from his leather gloved hands and bent back my head as the creamy liquid slid down my sore throat.

Right as I wiped the unsightly white mustache from my upper lip, Bull towered into sight. I blinked a few times, and Bill elbowed me, noticing the trance Bull put me in. He drove me wild.

"Hey, I think I know you!" I winked at Denver as I flashed my most brilliant smile.

He snapped his fingers, "I think I know you too, pretty girl!"

"Go be with your beau," Bill smirked into my ear, forcing me to shoot him back a glare.

I couldn't even get a word out before he wrapped me into a massive bear hug. "Good to see you, Boone." He gave me another squeeze.

"You too," I smiled into his chest.

"Does anybody have any idea how the hell this thing works?" George held up some sort of device by two fingers, as if it had a disease.

Bull released me before shrugging his shoulders, "Hell if I know, but I'm sick of them piling all this new shit on us."

"Colonel Sink," a short, pink-eared man shoved a tri-folded letter in Bill's face. He licked the ice cream from the corner of his thin lips before dashing his eyes through the dry literature.

Luz came to the rescue and dramatically recited, "Soldiers of the Regiment! Toniiight! Is the niiight! Of nights… Today as you read this, you're in route to the great adventure you have trained for over two years."

"So that's why they gave us ice cream," Bill grumbled as he passed the letter over his shoulder to Skinny.

"What a bunch of bullshit," I acted tough, trying to douse the gnawing nerves eating away at me. Bull wrapped one goliath hand around my shoulder and shook me gently, agreeing.

"EASY COMPANY, LISTEN UP!" Lieutenant Meehan was standing on the hood of a jeep, his face slathered in camouflage paint. Eugene caught my eye as I turned to face Sobel's replacement. Was he about to give a speech? Was this really happening? "The Channel coast is socked in with rain and fog. No jump tonight!"

One trooper yelled in disappointment while the rest of us looked down at the concrete beneath us. "The invasion has been postponed- we're on a 24 stand-down."

A hoard of devastated men with pounding hearts and black faces slung their rifles over their shoulders and solemnly walked away. I slowly lifted my hand up to where Bull still held his hand on my shoulder. Gently I squeezed it as I glanced up at his quivering blue eyes.

"Can you believe this, Mae?" Luz lashed out as he stormed past us, still holding the mystery object in his hand.

"No, I can't…" I whispered almost inaudibly. I was having a difficult time believing anything these days.

**I feel like this chapter was complete bogus, but I felt guilty for keeping you waiting for so long.**

**Blarg-narg.**


	12. Travelin' Soldier

**I'm back! Hoping this is of decent quality… **

**Travelin' Soldier**

Johnny's POV:

I hadn't gone over there; there being Lottie's house. Her father could be a decomposing corpse for all I knew. I couldn't even steal a glance over at the shack that was once my second home. I missed Loretta too much, so much in fact, that it made my heart ache. Even the pain biting away at my lifeless leg couldn't douse the pain. I hadn't seen my dearest friend in over two years… and the worst part is she never wrote me. I guess we both disregarded promises- I didn't watch over her father and she never sent a letter.

What had become of my darling Loretta Roselle? Had she run off with a man of her assigned company, was she a nurse, or did she end up a ruthless soldier? Perhaps she had had the decency to write to her father who I knew still possessed a quarter of her heart. One for both her mother and brother, the remaining one for me. She promised me that quarter of that golden heart of hers when we were younger. She couldn't have broken a promise like that…

I missed her… my traveling soldier. I missed the love of my traveling soldier and only hoped she was missing me as much.

B.o.B.

I blew a thick gasp of air from my lips, trying to calm the rancid feeling churning in my gut. Denver plopped a mammoth hand on my shoulder, and forced my eyes to his.

"I don't want you to go, Boone. It's too dangerous. Not just for a woman, but for anybody." Bull had a stern and serious face as he looked down at me.

My stomach flipped with nausea, I was nervous enough before… I didn't need Bull's worry piled on me. "I'm doing this, Bull. I've been with these men for two years. I've been trained to see them go home, and that's just what I'm going to do."

"You're going to get shot down, and I'll have to see it, Boone. "

I pinched a fold in his uniform, "Even if I do, you won't have to see it. It'll be dark… Just please stop worrying?"

"I will to see _it_. Roselle and Randleman… hmmm, we're jumping from the same C-47, Boone." He pushed my hand away, his leather-like skin crinkled with worry. I stopped thinking about my own life, and remembered I wasn't here to fall in love, but to keep these men safe and content and most importantly, alive.

"What am I going to do when you don't land in the DZ?"

"Bull?" I softly asked, "Stop right there. I can't promise you anything, so we'll just leave that up to the man upstairs. You know, what about Bill? Has his silent suffering even crossed your mind? His brother is dead, and he is _still _jumping. Go worry about him, okay? I don't want anybody worrying about me… because, it just always amounts to problems."

"Your ma and brother are dead, and you're still jumping! What's his problem?!"

I angrily caught his sleeve as he paced. My patience was running on empty, "Denver Randleman, I never want to hear you talk about a fellow brother like that ever again. I realize you have feelings for me, and I share _some _of them, too. But no love affair is worth risking the partnership of a comrade." I gestured to the men all gearing up again around us. This was round two. "I'm one little person, Bull. I don't have much to live for. These guys have families back home, and I don't. I don't really have a future ahead of me. And if I get back, I won't be able to make a living. Don't fight for me, fight for them and the life they left behind."

He swallowed bitterly, guilty for the venomous words he had spat out about the mourning Guarnere, "Who are you fighting for, then?" His eyebrows arched, yearning to hear my voice say 'you'.

I looked down at the enormous boots that engulfed my feet, "I'm fighting for Easy Company as a _whole_."

Denver blinked hard, disappointment lining his round face. Noticing the cigar in his mouth dwindling down as it smoldered, he silently chucked it to the ground. He was upset- "Good luck for the jump, Private." He nodded.

I stood there in absolute despondency. I knew when Bull didn't call me 'Boone' I had made something FUBAR. I watched his massive frame walk off, mindlessly adjusting the equipment that draped around him. Mine was so heavy, I felt as if my feet were sinking into the concrete beneath me. For a moment, I wished the quicksand would eat me, and make me disappear.

B.o.B.

"Nurse, I haven't seen you in ages… are you ready for the jump?" Gene caught my shoulder as I walked aimlessly around. "Where's your medical bag?"

He turned me to face him. His thin pink lips were pressed together firmly. I could tell he was nervous. Then he noticed my ghostly face.

"You look green as hell, Brave!" He pressed his bony knuckled to my cheek. I didn't have a temperature… my heart was cold.

"I should have kept my big-ass mouth shut."

"What the hell did you say to the sergeant?!"

I swallowed, hesitant to repeat the words, "He told me he was fighting for me, and there I go, telling him I'm only fighting for Easy Company and not him specifically. I fucked up…"

Doc didn't even try to hide the truth from me, "Yea, you did."

"Gee thanks for the support, Gene."

He slipped my full bag over my shoulder, "Go talk to him."

"I don't even want to see him, and I doubt he wants to see me." He gently patted my back, shoving me towards the C-47 that rumbled to life like a dormant volcano. I trusted Gene with my life, and my everything. I loved Bull, but it was so uneasy like waves under a ship in a storm. One day I wanted to be held in his arms for the rest of my life, and the next I pushed him away with my life issues. Doc didn't mind my issues; he just treated me like a nurse. I thought that if I released Bull, or anybody, from my heart… I wouldn't have to deal with this, and I could function like a soldier is supposed to function.

"You don't even have your paint on, Roselle. C'mon… get yo shit together."

Even Eugene was annoyed with me.

He dug through his shoulder sack and took out two handfuls of motion sickness pill boxes. My head was spinning as fast as the propellers on the front of the plane. "Take one yoself, and give 'un to all the men."

With shaky fingers, I bent back the flimsy box lid that revealed two perfectly round pills. My mouth watered when I thought about them dissolving on my tongue. I was such a baby when it came to taking pills. I dropped a box onto Malarkey, Muck, Luz, Grant, Toye, Liebgott and Penkala's lap. Aware of the situation, Eugene took the liberty of rationing two boxes to Bull.

Gritting my teeth as I carefully lowered myself to the sizzling runway, I tuned my ears to Winters who twisted a pair of leather gloves in his hands. I unscrewed my canteen, got a cheekful of water and bent back my head to wash down the pills. They kicked in right away, blurring my vision and making the pounding in my head dull. I struggled to focus on Richard's words as Meehan briefly shook his hand and left to his own plane.

"Second platoon, listen up." He paused, "Good luck… God bless you." Lieutenant tried to sound confident, "I'll see you in the assembly area." With a short nod, he held out a trusting hand to Joe Toye who struggled to make it over to the door. Winters continued onto each man, giving them all a reassuring handshake, then heaving them to their feet. After one look into that man's striking eyes, each man of second platoon knew there was no turning back. And the woman in Easy knew it too, as he wrapped his hand around my wrist.

He squeezed my shoulder, and then followed behind me as I waddled to the meager ladder. Always respectful, he helped push me as Liebgott hoisted me. The pills were feasting on my consciousness.

Before clambering in himself, Winters swung his hand out of the door, signaling to the pilot that we were all in. I barely made it to the bench that was welded to the cold surface of the C-47 body. I bent my head against it, as it rumbled into a livelier gear. Struggling to keep my drooping eyes open, I tried to focus on Eugene's heartbeat that was so loud beside me. It was steady but pounding. As medics, no training could possibly prepare us for the things we were about to see.

A few clicking noises came from the head of the plane, and we lurched forward. My breathing was short and labored and Gene squeezed my knee. The unsettling feeling of no turning back bit at my sore body as the nose of the plane raised towards the settling sun. Our lifeless bodies scooted down the unwelcoming bench as we gained altitude. I don't like to admit it, but as the last tire tore from the hard ground, tears seared at the corner of my eyes. Eugene ran his cold thumb over the back of my hand.

Neighboring planes filled with allied men buzzed above, below and to both sides of us. The rough air beating against the plane made me lift my head. Winters was sitting, looking out at the world we knew growing smaller. I watched him for a moment until my eyes grew tired again… he seemed so calm. He turned his firey head, and saw my eyes on him. From his thin lips emerged a supportive smile. I nodded slowly, blinking my thanks to him. Distracting his own mind, he turned his attention back to the sky that we danced with.

I sleepily rested my head on Eugene's inviting shoulder and unwilling dozed off.

B.o.B.

Luz crawled over to my knees and kneeled down. Fishing in his pocket, his pulled out a pallet of shadowing hues. Rubbing his hot fingers into the clay, he souped up the gunk and lifted his fingers to my face. "It'll make you look real beautiful, Lottie." He said without a smirk. If Georgie wasn't smiling, then I did have a reason to be nervous. "It's almost time, Mae. Stay awake."

But my eyes disobeyed, feeling the dark of night around the slim framed plane. As the thick paint tugged and pulled at my skin, I tried to drift off to sleep. I was praying that this was all a dream, that I wasn't hanging somewhere above the ocean and that I didn't have to jump from this rumbling vehicle.

But I couldn't fall back to sleep as George drew camouflage lines along my pale face. I pretended not to notice Denver watching us, but his blue eyes shimmered against the moonlight that squeezed through the rivets. Luz lightly slapped my wobbling knee, returning to his seat as he clamped the paint away.

The red light. That dreaded, hated, despised red light flickered to life, glaring along Winters' orange hair. My chest heaved, and I rocked back and forth, squeezing the life out of Gene's arm. I was scared… so scared.

The Lieutenant raised to his feet, lifting both hands, ordering us to stand. Doc snatched up a rope across my back and pulled me to my shaky feet. My knees tried to escape by buckling under the overwhelming weight of everything. Two familiar strong hands grasped my upper arms and held me up. They were Bull's, and I was certain they were his when he squeezed once more. He trusted my legs, and I realized the position I was in the middle of. I was the only paratrooper without my hook clipped on the wire above us. I fumbled to get it latched in the dim light of the red light.

I felt the hands again quickly tug of ropes and layers of equipment engulfing my frame.

"THREE O-K!" He bellowing voice boomed over my head.

I shook and felt Grant's gear and screamed, "TWO O-K!"

The green light was more dreaded than the red one. The red one was a mere warning, a lightbulb saying that your life _could _be ending within the next few moments. But the green one _told _you that it was about to end. The final moment.

One faceless body flung himself into the stinging air hanging over the warzone. They disappeared before me, the faceless men. I wrapped my thumbs around the door frame, leaning my unprepared body forward. Burning orange tracers pierced the black night sky. And as one zipped dangerously close to my face, the only person on my mind was Johnny back home…

**Thank you for reading! **

**No Bull and Boone 'action' until episode 4- you'll see why. ;)**


	13. Carry On

**Words in **_**italics **_**are to be read as German. Please enjoy!**

**Carry On**

The heel of my boots slipped from the metal edge of the doorframe and I hurdled to the earth. I twisted as the strength of my parachute plumed out above me.

My eyes began to water as the thin air whipped around my face. Burning planes screeched as they spun to their deaths. Flames nipped at my feet as the ground came into sight. Suddenly, I fell a short distance, the straps jerking harshly on my shoulders. Glancing up, I saw a bullet hole flapping, causing the flimsy chute to crumple. With all senses on overdrive, the smell of something singing entered my nose. My right riser had caught on fire, and each thread was disappearing against the glow of fire. The last strings broke, and I struggled to grasp the remaining left riser. Like the daunting ropes in gym class, I clung onto it for life. Now freefalling, I didn't even notice the canopy of spring trees nearing my dangling heavy boots.

"Fuckin' a," I spat, groaning. Shadows crawled and spun below me, the shining of their helmets unfamiliar. Their low voices held a foreign tongue, and my heart pounded against my ribcage. I squeezed shut my eyes as the thick detail of tree bark swooped into sight. Sharp and whip-like branches scratched at my face, adding to the scars back from Toccoa. My shoulder met the hardwood with a sickening sound, and my toes curled in the oversized boots, trying to forget the pain.

"_Another over there,_" a Kraut hissed, pointing towards my crumpled body at the base of the tree. "_Keep firing, Rolf._" A man of certain authority ordered as they left the battery and crunched near me. The branches still swung, still recovering from me tearing through them. With my right shoulder dead from the impact, I could feel a pull on my left armpit. My chute ropes were hopelessly tangled in the harsh branches. The enemy neared me, and I held my breath. Slowly I inched wandering fingers towards my ankle, where a knife was latched to my boot.

I slid it out, carefully not to make the glintering sound of it getting pulled from the sheath.

"_Over here somewhere, by a tree I saw," _they searched for me, growing dangerously closer. I bit my lower lip, careful not to make a grunt as I painfully sawed at the tense strings. My shoulder was overwhelmed by pain and hung useless at my side. I rolled my eyes over to the corner of my wincing eyes, trying to analyze the position of the Germans. Where were my other men?

The last thread snapped against the edge of the blade, and I crumpled further down the truck and onto the ground. My weight kicked up fine, dry dirt, drawing attention as the moonlight fell upon it. The German exclaimed, and they were not as careful as I was to draw their weapons.

I scrambled to my feet, winding through the rows of trees. I panted as the fierce adrenaline pumped harder through me. The two of them dashed behind me, struggling to catch up.

"_Shoot the damn man!_" The authorities man bellowed, stopping to catch his breath. His partner unleashed multiple rounds at my shadow, but missing with all. My throat began to burn like I had swallowed acid, but the burning pain that came next wasn't even comparable.

Hot metal tore through my uniform and ripped through the flesh of my shoulder. I screamed a wild and blood curdling screech, and fell to my knees. The bullet bumped against my collar bone, and there it rest. I felt the warm blood soak through my jacket and suspenders, then sticking to my severed skin.

They chortled, "_Bullseye!_" The shooter happily packed away his luger, and walked over to his prize that was my own body.

"_Took you enough tries,_" the older man spat out, shoving away the satisfied kid.

I whimpered, holding onto the burning agony that gnawed at my shoulder and sunk into my chest. As they strutted closer to the heap of body, my dead hand searched my leg for the tie that held my M1 to my right leg. It was loaded with a full clip, and I wrapped a shaky finger around the trigger. Without pressing it to my shoulder to avoid more pain, I yanked it from the leg bag and pointed it in their general direction. Rounds loudly escaped the barrel, meeting their chests and heads, followed by grunts from both victims. Luz called me Mae for a reason.

They thudded to the ground, and I knew their comrades would race over to the sound of an American firearm.

Calmed by the distance booming of tracers into the night sky, and sat up on my knees. I knew as the cooling lead sizzled against my bone that I had to get to an isolated area to patch up my bloodied shoulder.

"Carry on," I murmured, gasping for fresh oxygen as I struggled to my feet. No training from Sobel could ever prepare me for this.

I looked back, taking in the image of the two German men with their mouths open. The moonlight illuminated the blood that oozed from the younger's proud mouth. I saw his new, black leather holster conceal the forever forsook luger. I unsnapped the buckles binding it, eyeing the swastika branded into the leather.

I tapped the black barrel to his helmet, "Thanks mate, I know somebody that wants this." I turned on my heel without taking another look at them. Heading north, I went off in search of any wounded man, and most importantly Easy Company.

Once the sounds of firepower was nearly gone, and only boomed in the back of my head, I leaned against a tree. I knew that if I sat down, I would never be able to get back up. The blood had now drenched the back of my uniform and stained my neck. I tore off a piece of the reserve chute that still trailed behind me and clenched it between my teeth to muffle the screaming. Rummaging through my bag that hung at my sore right hip, I ripped open a sleeve of sulfur powder to stop the bleeding. I them wound layers of gauze under my arm, around my neck and across my chest. It wasn't easy to do on myself, but I could hear Gene's accented words guide me through the process. I shut my eyes, relieved for an instant as I prayed for his safety.

B.o.B

"Flash," an allied voice cautiously called, kneeling down.

My feminine voice croaked, "Thunder…"

Carwood Lipton rose to his feet, raising his hand for the other unfamiliar men hidden behind him to stand. "Loretta?"

"That's me, Sergeant." I weakly smiled, giving him a mock salute.

"Are you alright?"

I tried to lighten the pain filled wrinkles that lined my face, "I'm fine, sir."

He narrowed unconvinced eyes at me, but waved us forward. We snuck carefully along a dark river bank, pulling our boots through this tufts of grass with night dew.

"You boys all alright?" I whispered to the strangers, setting my head to keeping them all well even though I didn't know them. Thought my shoulder still burning in pain, my silent cries of agony were quieted by the relief of having at least one Easy man with me.

Somebody's rifle nose clinked against a tree branch, sending out a dangerous noise. I wanted to slap the troopers from the 82nd across the head, but faithfully followed Lip as he waded into the serene river.

Two solemn clicks came from the opposite bank, and I grasped Lipton's sleeve to keep the splashing down.

"Who's there?" A hoarse voice hissed, the owner emerging from a wall of bushes.

Lipton gained speed, "Lieutenant Winters? Is that you?"

I instantly recognized his face, though it was dirty from the camouflage paint. Another unfamiliar man was crouched down beside him, and I stood, eyeing the strangers as Lip and Dick spoke. I wondered if the boys from the 82nd knew I was a woman, and if this other kid knew it too. I hovered over them, watching as Winters pulled a small flashlight from his fly. This man was brilliant.

"Raincoat?" he asked, turning the tiny knob. The man under me pulled a raincoat from his buddy' pack and draped it over the officer's fiery head. I tried not to concentrate on the rounds popping vaguely south of us.

"We're about 7 kilometers away from our objective, and four hours from when we need to have it secured. So, we have a lot of walking ahead of us…" he reported unenthusiastically, giving the map back to Carwood. "You men stick with us until we find your unit." He spoke to the 82nd boys while they all stood up.

"Let's go," Lip breathed, slapping my bad shoulder. I chomped down _into _my tongue helping to swallow the scream rising. I than instantly tasted blood, but followed closely.

"Hey Sarge, where we going?" the timid kid asked.

"Causeway number 2- Utah beach. The Germans flooded the fields inland… we don't clear those routes, and our boys and going nowhere."

The brothers whispered uneasy words to each other, and I rolled my eyes at them. We walked until I felt the skin at the back of my heel curl and crinkle back like the bellows of an accordion. With each step, the uncomfortable leather of my massive boots burrowed deeper into my flesh. We winded around some trees, and the pain in my shoulder only occurred if I jerked it suddenly, and of course if Lipton slapped it. I pulled my raincoat around my neck with one arm carefully.

"Let me help you," the youngest man offered, who's name was Hall. He was from Able company. I still wasn't sure if he knew my gender, but figured he did by the way he fumbled with the waterproof fabric. His hand slipped, and he felt the drying blood that stained my uniform. "What the hell happened?" He whispered, knowing I didn't want Lipton or Winters to know.

"None of your business, cowboy," I spat, not liking the feeling of his hands on my back. Pain made me irritable. I jerked the poncho closer to my neck, trying to block off the draft nipping through my sleeves and at the still wet blood. My legs were freezing from the river water, too.

"Son of a bitch," an all too familiar Philly voice crooned, elaborately telling a story. I then forgot about my misery, and wiggled my way through the bushes that hide the railroad tracks.

"Flash!" I practically yelled, making some Easy boys fall to their knees in fear.

"Thunder!" they cried without taking a breath.

I saw my favorite red-head slowly raise, and despite my aching shoulder, I wrapped him into a hug. Partially because I was extremely happy to see him, and partially because I was so cold I would be willing to leech ff warmth from a dead body by now.

"Ah, Malarkey… it's so good to see you." I grimaced into his neck.

"How's Mae?" He unknowingly tapped my shoulder. Winters ordered Hall and Guarnere to the front, and Bill slapped my back before moving forward.

"She's doing well, except…" I tilted my head to the left, directing his eyes to the glittering blood.

"Shit! You took one?" He exclaimed. "Where's the Doc?!"

I held a shaky finger over my lips to calm my worried brother down, "Shhh! One, I'm a doc, remember? And two, keep down about it, kay? I don't need to be the one slowing us down. I reassuringly grinned up at him, "It's all taken care of, Don."

He took my right hand pulled me gently down onto the rail-road ties when Hall gave the signal. Lieutenant dashed ahead, and looked over the bridge onto the lower area to the left of us.

"Lipton, Hall, Guarnere!" He waved them over, pointing us down to the lower area. I heard a distant horse whinny, followed by the sound of wagon wheels grinding against gravel.

Guarnere lifted his greaser to his eye as they pulled nearer, "Wait for my command." Winters hissed as we were all crouched down. I rested to the back of the group, waiting to spring if anybody was wounded.

With no order, bullet tore from Bill's gun and ripped through the many German soldiers. A horse screamed out, rearing and throwing his powerful hooves in the air. I blinked with every bright flash that reflected against the stone wall. Toye hurled a grenade, blowing chunks of earth against the carriage and horse. The enemy fell to the ground, bullet holes ripped through their wool coats. The shooting lasted for a short time, but the constant round after round made me shrink against the nearest tree.

The last German fell as he tried to escape, but the flashing light still glowed off of Wild Bill's face.

"That is ENOUGH, Guarnere!" Lieutenant Winters bellowed, grabbing Bill by the shoulders to stop the bullets from flying.

"Everyone okay?" Winters asked, not taking his eyes from Bill. They glared at each other for what seemed like forever. "When I say wait for my command, _you wait for my command_, Sergeant!" Richard lashed out at the dense man.

Bill's under bite stayed steady, "Yes, sir." He spat out, equally as venomous.

I jumped down onto the landing, rushing to the horse that was forced on his side by the overturned cart. His partner was lying lifeless, and the flailing draft kicked out. I bent down by his bloodied head and shushed soothing words into his petal-like ear. His breathing relaxed as I flattened his forelock over the small white star against his bold black head.

"Easy boy, you're alright…" I whispered.

Joe sauntered to my side, with a blank expression on his painted face. He lowered a handgun to the horse's head and pulled the curved trigger. Within an instant, the black beauty's breathing and kicking came to a permanent stop.

Forgetting about my shoulder, I sprung to me feet and promptly slung a heavy blow into Joe's arm, "Why the fuck did you do that!?" I shrieked, pounding my fists into his chest when he turned to me.

He leaned into closer, and I could smell exhaustion on his breath, "We need to keep moving…"

"That was no reason to _kill_ that horse, asshole!" I still was willing to fight.

"Roselle!" Winters loudly warned, in no mood for my anger.

Toye walked ahead of us and Bill came beside me with clenched fists. He took the toe of his boot and pushed the horse's head to see if it was dead. I struggled to keep tears from rolling down my cheeks.

"Other than having a shitty name, what's his problem?" Hall asked Don.

Bill looked up and lashed out at the Able soldier, "None of your fucking business, _cowboy_."

"Alright, let's move out!" Lipton pushed the herd of us out, sensing the tension between us all. I still wanted to knock Joe's head off of his shoulders for being so goddamn heartless.

B.o.B.

*at the assembly area*

"Shit, Doc! Will you give me some goddamn morphine?!"

He helplessly shrugged, "I ain't got any, Brave! The 82nd got hit harder than us and dere medics took all mine."

Nixon managed to walk by, taking his flask from his lips and raising it to me in salute. "Hey there, Lottie."

"Morning, Nix."

He glanced over my shoulder to take a look at the entry wound that Eugene was cleaning up, "Shit! You took one?"

I rolled my eyes, "Yea, I took one… and it hurts like a bitch."

"Ain't you gonna give the girl some of that morphine shit?" He slurred.

"I don't have any," Roe replied irritably.

Lewis handed me his flask of which I knew was filled with harsh whiskey. It smelled like my father, and I could practically taste it already. Those memories were in the past now, and I would do anything to get rid of the agonizing pain. I took three long, drawing gulps and nodded thankfully as I handed Lew back his beloved flask. My eyes instantly began to water and my throat burned.

"Hold still, Brave… I'm gonna get it now." Eugene bent closer with his tweezers designed specifically for fishing out bullets. Nixon struggled to walk away, probably searching for his best friend.

The cold metal jabbed into my tender, oozing flesh, "Fuck!" I screamed, tears coming to my eyes. I dug my filthy fingernails into a handful of hay and threw my head back. Wincing himself, he pushed the tweezers further through the gaping hole until he heard metal against metal.

"There she is," he warned me for the initial removal. "We gotta get that outta there."

"Jesus!" I bellowed with many syllables. He wiggled it back and forth, trying to unlodged the bullet. It snapped as it came from my collar bone, and an instant relief washed over my body. Finally the infectious wad of enemy lead was in a bed pan beside me.

Quickly wiping the tears from my eyelashes so nobody would see, I held the round in my palm, "Can I keep it? You know, proof for the story I'll tell the grandkids?"

He lightly chuckled, "Sure, Brave. Do whatever you want with it. Speaking of grandchildren, have you seen Bull yet?"

I narrowed my eyes at him, "No, and quite honestly I don't care to."

He warned me as I stood, "You don't mean that, Loretta. What if he is hurt?"

"A bull _never_ falls," I said as confidently as my wavering voice would allow.

**That's it for now! Please be a dear and drop a review? Thank you!**


	14. Fighting BeforeTheir Feet Hit the Ground

**Wow! Thank you so much for the positive feedback from **_LovingBOBThePacific, wandertogonder, ellegirl15kansas, _**and **_ChastityHope13_**! You're kind words mean so much to me! :) **

**To all my new followers and favoriters- you make me smile! Thank you for hopping aboard!**

**Fighting Before Their Feet Hit the Ground**

The atmosphere was drenched in death and its piercing stench. The earth was flooded, and I struggled to walk as the mud engulfed my boots. The clay seeped and pulled in the scuffed black cork boots as I walked towards a collection of frightened cattle. Men wrapped harsh chains around the dainty legs of perished horses that laid motionless as a roadblock to tanks and jeeps. The earth around them was stained red with blood.

I strolled over to a cream colored heifer, and c autiously put my shivering hand to the sleek bridge of her nose. She cooed a gracious moo in her throat as another pair of boots trudged through the muck.

"I heard you took one, Lottie… why are you not in a bed?" Buck Compton placed a worried hand on my lower back, stealing my attention from the bright-eyed calf.

"Doc already took care of it," I reassured him, mustering a smile. I furrowed my brows in confusion as I saw Liebgott, Lipton, Winters, Popeye, Petty, Malarkey, Guarnere and Toye walking grouped together with weapons at the ready.

"Where y'all going?"

Buck looked down at me with his striking blue eyes. They made me miss Bull, even though I didn't like to admit it. "Meehan is nowhere to be found, so Winters in the CO. We're going to go take some Kraut batteries attacking the beach." He said shortly, as if it wasn't a big deal.

I took a step towards the aid station to get my bag, "Then you'll need a nurse and I'm coming along."

Eugene tore from the mangled barn and tent combination, kicking the slop up behind his boots to trail up his back. "Doc Roe is coming with us, because you are wounded."

I began to chase down Gene as Buck caught up with the other men, "Gene! Gene, I'm coming too! Wait up!" I called, struggling to keep my lungs going. My breathing was labored, and my shoulder ached deeply.

He loosened his stride, predominantly rolling his brown eyes. "I'm _ordering _you to stay here, Brave. No if's or but's about it-"

I opened my mouth to protest, but he quickly cupped his pale palm over the opening. He glared down at me as if I was a small child getting disciplined, "Go back in the aid station, and get some rest. I don't give a damn if you're tired or not, you _will_ get in there and _do not follow us_."

My heart whimpered and I struggled to keep my lip from quivering. Slowly he removed his hand that bound my words. He shot down one last warning glance at me. I had never seen him so worried or angry before. Usually he kidded around with me, but the harsh look in his eyes and the stern tone in his voice let me know he was completely serious.

As he trotted down the slippery road, I shuffled back to the measly barn with my tail between my legs. The friendly cows behind me lowed for my attention, but Eugene's strict words bit at my head and I entered the stuffy barn. Surgeons scurried about, blood up to their elbows with white masks stretched across their shouting mouths. War is such an ugly thing.

Keeping the soldiers in mind, I left the empty cots available, and laid down in a musty bed of graying hay. It wasn't sweet smelling and smooth like the hay back home. It was uninviting, and the sharp edges poked through my still bloodied uniform.

Habit to rest on my ride side; I bent back my arm to make a sad excuse for a pillow. My left arm flopped lifelessly at my side, still aching and burning down to my bone. The helpless strands of hair piled onto my cheeks, blocking away the gray sun from my eyes. Giving up the fight of staying awake as familiar rounds popped along the horizon, I allowed my eyelids to slide over my exhausted eyes.

_God be with them… God be with them today_. I whispered to myself as the exhaustion swept me away into a collapse.

B.o.B.

A blanket of night draped over the small French town as I settled in a canvas covered truck. Malarkey was bent over a steaming ammunition container of bubbling slop, after he had convinced us all Irishmen were good cooks. Uh-huh.

"Shit, can you believe it?" Malarkey slapped his knees, "24 hours ago, we took off. Now here we are…"

I held out my tin plate, hungry for combat and a meal, "What was it like out there, boys?"

"Intese," Liebgott said plainly before crawling over all of us to get out of the truck. "Jesus, let me outta here!"

"Light discipline! Light discipline!" Carwood called after Liebgott who threw back the flap. "Guarnere, close that flap."

"Let the Krauts cook their own goddamn food," Guarnere spat out bitterly, closing the flap.

"We only lost one man, Hall from Able," Lipton answered, returning to my question.

Bill elbowed me, "Cowboy. How we doing, Malark?"

He tasted the concoction, "We're doing good."

Buck and I held out our plates and Don spooned it to us. It reeked, but my growling stomach didn't give two damns. My thin tin spoon had bent during the jump, and I recalled the last thing I had eaten with it was soupy ice cream back in England.

Harry ripped one on the opposite bench of me, forcing me to bury my nose in my collar.

"Jesus Christ, gimme some air!" Guarnere poked his head from the humid truck. He reluctantly yanked his head back in, hearing the other men chuckling over a joke my innocent mind didn't understand. Bill pulled his cigarette from behind his ear and held it to my nose, "Want a smoke, Lots?" Before I even shook my head no, he put it in-between his lips, knowing I wouldn't accept his offer.

A helmeted man with a grimy face stuck his face into our truck, "Something die in here?" I recognized it to be Winters.

"Malarkey's ass," Harry teased, beaming.

I hid deeper between Lipton and Bill, slowly feeding myself.

"Any word on Lieutenant Meehan yet, sir?" Buck questioned, dousing the mood.

Richard fiddled with his sleeve, "No, not yet."

"Don't that make you our commanding officer, sir?" Bill asked, relaxing his toothy grin.

"Yea, it does."

"Here you go, sir," Joe offered Dick a half-empty bottle of booze with a slurred voice.

"Joe, Lieutenant here don't drink," he said wisely.

Surprising us all, Winters reached for the bottle and lifted it in salute, "It's been a night of firsts." He took a burning gulp, his eyes growing wide with the shock. Holding his pride, he held the bottle to Bill, "Don't you think Guarnere?"

A sly smile slid across his face, "Yes, sir." Bill took a swig, wincing at the horrid taste. He reached over my chest, giving it to Lipton knowing I would reject that as well.

"Carry on," Winters pulled from the flap halfway. "Oh, and Sergeant?"

"Sir?"

"I'm not a Quaker…" With a knowing smirk he left. Bill cackled and Lipton playfully slapped his back. I even smiled and snorted at our Lieutenant's cleverness.

"He's probably a Mennonite!" Bill cackled, nudging me once more.

"What's a Mennonite?" Toye drunkenly asked, leaning against Harry for support.

I wanted to be cheery with these six men, but my mind was focused on the ones not sitting with us. I hadn't seen Luz or Hoobler, two men that though they were silly, were so dear to my heart. Muck and Penkala, the two inseparable brothers hadn't met with us either. Perconte and Moore were missing as well.

I patted Don's shoulder by reaching behind Carwood, "Yo Malarkey, seen Penk or Skip yet?"

He rested his scraped clean plate on his lap, staring on the open flame, "Nah. I don't think anybody has. Probably just dropped in the wrong DZ, you know?"

I wanted to believe him, but the worst case scenario still gnawed at the back of my head.

We sat in silence for a minute, remembering the men that were still missing. Talbert was nowhere to be seen, Shifty or Bull. The three men that sacrificed to help me up the mountain Currahee were nowhere to be found. I remembered that the boys weren't aware of how Denver and I were not speaking.

"Anybody seen Randleman yet?" Buck asked, followed by spooning a gulp of slop into his mouth. I knew with their solemn shakes nobody had seen him.

"What about you, Loretta? We know you got a thing going on with him," Bill winked, playfully elbowing Lipton in the side.

I sat down my plate on the empty bench beside me and wiped my lips with the back of my hand, "No, I haven't." I stood, and lifted the flap of the truck, gasping for fresh air.

Joe's raspy voice hung as low as the dense air outside, "Sure hope the man's alright…"

I looked back at them over my shoulder, "He's fine… I know it." But I didn't know it for sure.

"Popeye took one in the ass, Lottie!" Buck chuckled, attempting to lighten the mood. Then I realized the only reason that had come to mind is because my ass was right in front of their noses.

One corner of my dry lips curved as sucked in a gasp of air, "That's gotta hurt- his ass _and _his pride!"

They all roared in laughter, and my smile cracked brighter, pleased I had managed to boost the morale.

"I'm worried about Hoobler, Luz, Tab and Shifty. All of them. They could be anywhere in Europe. I can't stand sitting here, laughing when Bull could be laying wounded somewhere." I swallowed, realizing I had just separated Denver from the rest. "And the others of course…"

Bill rested his heavy left arm around my shoulders, lowering my eyes, "We know how you feel for Bull, and he feels the same."

I sarcastically snorted, "He hardly acts like it. I mean, he calls me _Private_ for Christ's sakes."

Welsh chuckled, "C'mon now, we're talking about Bull Randleman here. Has he ever been known to be affectionate?"

Buck reached across and rubbed my knee, "I'm sure they're all fine… they're just missing like Meehan. Just give it a few days and they'll be back with Easy, cowgirl."

I blinked back tears as my stomach churned. I wasn't sure if it was due to the food I had just ingested, or how Easy Company wasn't easy at all.

Smiling weakly at them all, I excused myself. I pulled back the infamous flap and hopped down from the tailgate. The town was growing quiet, all of the men giving up on their hopes of finding something to eat for dinner.

To the west, I saw what I thought was the sun rising. Then I realized it was just the overwhelming glow of a neighboring town up in flames. Tracers, just like the ones that had pierced my chute 24 hours ago, were scattered across the amber atmosphere. I closed my eyes, begging for the screaming of wounded men to stop. As if their agony was in a battle or competition with the monotonous booming of exploding artillery.

Though I had already killed two men, had been shot myself… I had survived D-Day. The day that would be scripted in the text of history books for years to come. I prayed that I would survive D-Day plus 1 and two and however days added to today would follow. But more than that, I prayed Bull would be at my side through it all.

**How do you guys feel on the length of the chapters? I **_**try**_** to keep it no less than 2,000 words… too short, too long or just right? This one felt short, but it was a set up for Carentan. The OC boy will be joining Loretta in the next two chapters! Very excited for that! Please let me know what you think and thank you for reading!**


	15. Handling Fear

**I hope you enjoy, my beloved readers!**

**Handling Fear**

I squinted my eyes against the harsh late afternoon sun as I lay drowsily on the warm pavement. The men of Easy were scattered about a French town's center square. Eugene sat in front on my, elbows on his knees, resting his tired head in his hands. Ever since we moved out, and my shoulder wasn't healing, he had been watching me like a hawk. His rules were more like laws. No running, no hugging the men, no throwing grenades, no shooting. Slightly impossible for somebody immersed in a war. I was thankful he cared as much as he did, but sometimes I just wished he would relax and realize I wasn't a child.

"Nice of you to show up!" Luz mocked an arriving cluster of soldiers. My ears perked, and I sat up straight, hearing more voices of the men I was so worried about. Excitedly, but timidly, I trotted to them. Talbert was proudly flashing a large Kraut poncho he had scored, while Joe Liebgott contested with a swastika flag.

"Where's our favorite nurse?" Tab asked Luz after shaking all of their hands.

I removed my helmet, "She's right here, Floyd."

He smiled brightly and strolled over to me with wide, open arms. I wrapped my right arm tightly around Tab's neck, and he squeezed me up to his neck. "What? I'm not special enough for both arms?" He teased, smirking.

I whispered in his ear, "Doctor's orders, Tabby." A smacked a brief kiss on his scruffy cheek, jumping down from his hold. I moved onto Shifty, who was marveling at Liebgott's prized swastika.

Before I could even smile at Darrel, a warm embrace captured me from behind. My heart jumped, praying I would turn and Bull's blue eyes would meet mine. I smiled hopefully, but found Smokey beaming from ear to ear instead. I rotated so I could give him a proper hug, but was reminded my left arm was useless.

"It's good to see you, Smokey," I mumbled contently into his chest.

He ran his hand over the back of my head and held it there, "You too, Lottie. You too."

"Loretta!" Shifty's bright and welcoming voice sang out, trotting towards us.

"Well, if it isn't Shifty Powers!" I winked with my still present drawl, offering him one arm for an embrace. He enthusiastically held my shoulders, giving me a quick squeeze. I gulped down a grimace, trying to concentrate on the relief of having him here.

"How's Easy's girl?" he asked fondly.

I gave his back a pat in return, "She's ready to move, sir." I gave him a mock salute, in which he returned in a stunning grin. Everybody had returned. Hoobler, Shifty, Tab and Luz… but still no sign of my Bull. My heart ached, still fearing the worst. I had said I wanted to move forward, but all I wanted to do was sit here and wait for my broad shouldered Sergeant. Shifty nodded before noticing Gene walked towards me. I wasn't allowed further than 10 feet from him, or so he acted.

"We're moving ou-"

"Easy's moving out! On your feet!" Welsh bellowed, "Listen up, it'll be dark soon. I want light and noise discipline from here on. No talking, so smoking… and no playing grab fanny with Loretta in front of you Luz!" This earned a roar of laughter from the men. I buried my burning face into my collar as they all laughed.

"No promises," Luz good-naturedly whispered to me from behind. I just tried to glare at him, but it became more of an awkward grimace with the sun glaring in my eyes.

"Where we headed to, Lieutenant?"

"We're taking Carentan…"

"That sounds fun," a sarcastic voice said.

"It's the only place where armored from Utah to Omaha beach can link and move in. 'Til we take Carentan, they're stuck on the sand. General Taylor sent in the whole division…"

Luz blew a raspberry in protest and mockery, "Remember boys," Luz called, helping me position my medical bag over my shoulder. "Flies spread disease, so keep your _closed_."

The men chuckled, elbowing each other and shrugging on their equipment. We marched forward behind Hoobler, who volunteered to be lead scout. Eugene was of course at my left side, and I had my pocket Italian Perconte at my right. Luz was behind me, and I took into thought that with George, the company's morale wouldn't be half of what it was. Every man of Easy owed the short, puppet like men for all of the laughter he had brought upon us.

B.o.B.

The developing blisters on my heels burned as much as the plumes on fire on the lake. We circled around the mossy ponds, with clusters of life-dead mosquitoes drifting by the edge. I stayed firm between Eugene and Luz. I was thankful for George's rifle as he held it against his chest. Gene and I kept one prepared hand on our bags, while the other swatted at the blood sucking devils. I questioned God for creating these buzzing beasts…

"Hey Docs," Perconte met with my eyes. His dark pupils glimmered in the orange glow of the environment. "We lost F Company, hang here." He continued on down the line, bringing the unwanted but familiar news.

"Again?" Gene wiped his sweating forehead, frustrated with the slow pace. He was tired, I was tired… we were all tired.

Doc Roe and I had a method, because we were a team. We would sit down and the same time, back to back. We braced each other, and the rims of our helmets would clink as we waited impatiently. I guess, this was his way of saying, _'I'll be your backbone, Brave. As long as you're mine, too.'_

Winters and Nixon strutted past me, clearly pissed. I heard Harry and Nixon bitch back and forth for a few seconds, until Richard headed towards the line of thick trees with his best friend close behind. My head throbbed inside of my wobbling helmet, and the heat of the fire made my shoulder sear with a dull pain. I was thankful not everybody knew, and the only one who saw it was Lewis, who was most likely too drunk to remember the sight. The enemy bullet still rested contently at the bottom on my large bloused pocket. The nose of the lead was rippled and bent out of shape. I cringed, imagining how my collar bone was in the puzzle piece shape with it.

"Let's get moving again, boys!" Welsh yodeled through his gapped teeth. I tried to mute my groan as Gene pulled me back on my feet. I pulled up my collar to ward of mosquitoes, and it was moist with sweat. We marched past the lakes, and dipped into the intimidating woods. The lung-choking smoke wound through the waxy French forest leaves. I couldn't believe the thought had crept into my mind, but the dark aroma made me miss the rings of cigar smoke that hung above Bull's head.

B.o.B.

My heart pounded like a beast captured behind a cage of ribs. My calloused hands grew clammy as a loyal dog barked its alarmed warning deep to the town. My eyes blurred the sight of the noon sun glaring off the men's helmets as they crouched on the dusty dirt road beneath us.

"Stay brave, Brave," Gene mumbled, half to himself and half to me.

I drug my boots deep into the thirsty soil, letting all thoughts of home, of Bull, of the dog and of the pain biting at my healing flesh. I closed my eyes to block the sun, with short breaths I remembered the training I had above me, Gene beside me, and the men I was to save before me. Winters took one last look at his watch, and pulled the pin.

"Go, go, GO!" he bellowed, waving his ordering arms. The first wave of brave men sprung to their feet, and the silence was broken as their treaded boots skidded down the incline of the road. They fell; they crashed into the harsh earth as fibers from their uniforms blasted into the sky.

I absently felt the taste of my own blood dry around my lips. Eugene screamed at me to get up as he snatched up my collar. I had bitten down through my own tongue, from the fear of Winters shrieking voice. He kicked at men shuddering in the depths of a ditch lining the road.

My feet wouldn't keep up with the pace of the hill, and I nearly collided with a crumbling wall. I pressed my chin to my shoulder, praying that Eugene was still at my side. I had lost my backbone, so I searched for a familiar face.

Shifty pressed his trusted rifle to his heaving chest as he gave Lipton a positive thumb up. I sighed a minute breath of relief as I recognized more faces. Perconte and Carwood stumbled over each other, falling to the sidewalk. I was positioned across from Shifty on the dead end street. He was pressed between a proud building wall and chicken coop. He nodded, and I allowed my large helmet to slip over my eyes in response.

When I tore from the protective corner of concrete, my sights focused on Lipton who struggled to get back up as Frank flailed above him. Then a man crumpled to the ground just ahead of me. As my mind wondered why the bullet took him and not me, I pressed my two shaking fingers to the dent in his neck. I winced, begging to feel the throb of his living heart beat against my fingers. It wasn't there, so I continued on.

The machine gun Kraut aimed his cross hairs at my back, but luckily Easy's sniper was better. I felt the bullets chip away at concrete and it bit at my heels. I felt the frightening ping of the hot metal peelings against my thick cork boots. If I made it through this, I made a note to thank Shifty Powers.

"Lip!" I screamed, struggling myself not to add to the pile of confused men on the sidewalk.

He held onto his helmet, "You good?"

"I'm good." I said confidently, lifting a scrambled Frank to his feet.

"We gotta take that warehouse!" Carwood yelled, running forward. We crouched by a wrought iron gate, and I watched as Shifty dashed over to us. "Hammer those windows."

Shifty popped round into the dirty glass, silencing the gunmen in that building. Lipton slapped my shoulder, and ran off towards a fire escape. Perconte followed Shifty as they advanced into Carentan. Regaining my mental bearings, I saw Gene wrapped a white bandage around a downed troopers forehead.

"Eugene!" I cried, sprinting over to him and frantically looking for his eyes.

"Brave-" he was cut off by the blood curdling shriek for my informal name. The last desperate cry of 'Medic!' that made everything else silent in a doctor's head.

Knowing my duties, I tore off in search of the fallen man. My eyes were not shocked, I did not see blood, or bone splinters on the pavement. Instead I saw the round eyes of Bull Randleman as she galloped down a fire escape with one hand on his helmet.

"BULL!" I yelled, louder than I had ever before.

My heart paused, as the trooper squirmed below me. With tears in my eyes, I dug through my bag and fumbled with the flimsy brown cardboard of a morphine box. The wounded man's finger curled into my pant leg as I jabbed the thick needle of relief into his thigh.

"They got us zeroed! Spread it out! Spread it out!" Lipton screamed from above, helplessly ordering the men as artillery rained down on the sad village. "Get the hell out of the streets!"

I heard that dangerous sound of the bombs falling. The sudden echo, like a gasp for air, and then the shocking collide with the earth. Struggling desperately to keep calm, I wrapped the man's arm around my tender shoulders to carry him off of the line. Unfortunately, my instincts knew we were retreating.

But I was a nurse. I couldn't do what Lipton said. I couldn't run to the building and out of the street. I couldn't because there was a man still left. There was still an ounce of life left in his soul, even though his body was hardly there.

My ears ringed painfully as a mortar landed dangerously close, and my head screamed for me to fall. I ignored my pain and struggled to care for the man beneath me crying for his mother. Then all was left, and I felt his arm slip from mine. My body was hurdled high and the light became too strong. A scream escaped my terrified and bloody lips, and as I was airborne, I brought my knees to my chin.

"BOONE!" a distant voice called, muffled by my deaf ears.

As the blackness engulfed me, I felt a large hand pull my hand from the limpness of the soldier's hand as he wrapped my arm around his thick neck. His knees pumped under my heavy carcass, and his boots pounded against the crater scattered concrete winding through the village.

"I gotcha, Boone."

He was back… my Denver was here, holding me.

**Sorry for taking forever! Have the terrible cold, so I had no excuse not to update!**

**Love you! :D**


	16. Shell Shocked & Guilt

**I want to thank anybody reading this, and I want to apologize for being so sluggish with my updating.**

**I feel like I should take a 'break' until the next 11 weeks of school have passed, but I'm not really sure… **

**Shell Shocked & Guilt**

I was awoken by a touch that grazed my cheek. The small, shiny scar that rested on my cheek that I had earned at Camp Toccoa. The thumb had a familiar cold feel to it, and I cracked open unwilling eyes to get a look at the owner.

"You're up," a blurred pair of thin lips hovered over me.

"What?" I croaked, not hearing his muffled words.

My fellow medic shook his head, "I said, you're up!"

"_What_?" I yelled, growing frustrated I could not hear a thing.

Winters ice blue eyes watched me as I sat up, yawning to try and revive my ears. He favored his left leg and had a dirty face. All through the war, his striking eyes would always shine bright through the blood and grime.

Eugene whispered something to Dick, "She's shell shocked…"

Winters' lips frowned, and he crossed his arms over his chest. There was a strong and agonizing ringing deep inside my ear, and I let out a shriek, clutching onto my ears.

Eugene held my back, keeping me from rolling off of the levitated cot. I screamed and tears formed in my eyes.

"My ears! My ears! My goddamn ears!" I yelled, my swollen tongue impairing me speech. I was a mess… I was alive, but I was a mess.

"She's coming out of the deaf portion," Eugene informed nobody in particular, like he always did.

Then it was silent. I held a gasp of oxygen in my lungs, preparing for another painful attack. All the small sounds became clear, like the unsettled moans of a wounded warrior, and the bristle as Gene ran his fingers through his thick black hair. I sighed heavily, trying to analyze my surroundings.

"Where's Bull? Did we retreat? What about Tipper and the other man? He was hit by a mortar-"

Eugene covered my mouth like he always did when he was tired of my voice. "Be quiet, Brave. Randleman is with the other men, Tipper has been shipped off to a hospital… he should make it. The other man bled out before Spina and I could get him here."

My stomach churned and grew sick with guilt. I shouldn't have let Bull carry me and I should have seen that the man I was caring for lived. It was my job.

I was bruised from the impact of the debris and my crash landing, but it wasn't any worse than when I was little. When we would visit Aunt Margaret, and I would ride her horses around the fields. Then I would take the fire and kiss the horse into a smooth gallop, but he would become fresh and leap towards the blue summer sky. Sometimes I would be lucky and land on my feet, but other times I would tumble, have to catch the gelding and limp back home. There was a smile on my face all the while, though.

Those were the days, I'm telling you.

Those were the days when dad wouldn't even drink at special occasions, when momma would bake a delicious fruit pie every crimson Saturday afternoon. The days when Billy and I would have fights over petty things, and when we were still a strong family. They were gone, but I still _felt _the memories in my heart.

"What you smiling' 'bout, Brave?" Gene questioned, his accent strong.

I gently shook my head, pulling away from my reminiscing thoughts, "Just about home."

Doc curled his lips in a sympathetic smile and tenderly wrapped one arm around my shoulders. I smelled the stranger's blood, the sulfur and the fresh gauze that lingered around him, and I knew I smelled the same. Recalling back to the laughs we had at Toccoa, I knew that with these men was the closest thing I would ever have to a family again.

Eugene gently kissed my temple before I asked, "What's Blithe doing there?" I watched Winters slap his knees as he kneeled before the scatter-brained blue-eyes soldier. His eyes looked distant and frozen as he gazed at the floor.

"He says he's blind; can't see a thing." He gave me one last squeeze, "You two would make a full human!"

I smirked, swatting him away playfully. He wiped off a pan that held the ricocheted bullet from Winters' shin. A shiver crawled down my spine and burned as the thought nestled in my shoulder. It resembled the bullet I had taken. D-Day seemed so far away, yet so recent.

Suddenly Blithe rose from his fetal position, and began rubbing his eyes red. I heard him mumble, "I'm fine… I think I'm fine." He gave Winters an un-alarmed thanks and strolled off, testing his new found sight by looking at him hands.

Eugene and I watched him, both with our brows furrowed, and Richard came over with a questioning smirk. He looked down at us as if to say, "Can you explain?"

The two medics couldn't, so we shrugged in unison like clockwork.

"We'll be moving out soon, you two. Be prepared for more action." Winters calmly informed us, tightening the belt around his slender waist.

"Yes, sir," I croaked with my dry voice. Eugene nodded, returning to the bloodied pan in his lap.

"Want to keep it, suh? Fo posterity?" He chuckled, raising the pan that made the bent round roll around.

Winters held his hands out, sickened by the sight of his own blood, "No, thank you!"

The three of us laughed in good-nature, and the foreign feel of a smile felt incredibly good on my lips.

Winters waved to us, "I'll see you two around."

B.o.B.

I couldn't help but feel blissful as I rubbed US Army issued saddle soap into the creases of the leather bag Eugene and Spina had given me back in Toccoa. It and the contents inside were the only things I had to my name, so I made sure to take care of him. Inside were the small, golden hair combs that they had given to me. On days we were not moving, I would hide them under my helmet, just to have a sense of femininity. The glowing sun was shining off of Eugene's treasured scissors, and it was a lovely day for a war. He still kept a close watch on me, not letting my mingle too much with the men. And when I thought about speaking to Bull, he grabbed my wrist and told me to stay put. As if he could read my mind, he didn't want me to get hurt by any of them.

Once ask the small wrinkled of the supple leather were soaped, I tuned my ears to listen to Muck and Penkala chew the fat with Moore.

"Well, I heard he all gave them a smoke, and mowed 'em down," Skip vividly recalled.

I blew an irritated puff of air through my crackled lips, just loud enough so Gene would hear. He paused his polishing and raised a sarcastic eyebrow, "What now?"

"C'mon, let me go spend some time with them. It won't hurt anything," I practically begged.

He rolled his eyes and contemplated, "I suppose…"

I immediately jumped to my feet and left him and my medical bag on the creaky bench in the center of the town square. I strolled over to them, trying to hide my excitement at the taste of freedom. Malarkey gave me a friendly grin once he saw me, and patted the concrete beside his basking body.

"What are y'all talking about over here?" I asked, sitting cross-legged beside Don.

Muck lowered his voice, "That Speirs and how he killed 20 P.O.W's."

"I was there," Malarkey protested. "And it was more like a squad."

"Whatever, it doesn't matter," Skip gave up, blowing a draw of smoke before nibbling on another cracker laced with Kraut cheese.

Their trading of tall tales came to an abrupt stop as the shadowed man strolled up the stairs leading to our basking perch. I saw him, but the other boys were to concentrated on their guesses of when we would reach Berlin to notice.

"Enjoy it while it lasts, we'll be moving out soon."

"A new town, Lieutenant?" Moore asked.

Muck practically whined, "Already?"

"That's right," he calmly replied, staring down Don. I swallowed my heart for him, worried he knew about the rumors.

He stepped rudely right in Penk's path, forcing him to stand. Before he stepped down the final step, he turned and raised a sarcastic eyebrow in my direction, "Shouldn't you be with the other nurses, Private? You know, with the other _women_." Speirs calmly lashed out at me, his dark pools snarling.

I brought my eyes down quickly and scrambled to my feet, "Yes, sir. I should… I'll be going." I shuffled off, with my tail between my legs. I was impossibly scared of the shadowed man, and I didn't even think of snapping back. I had learned where that got me from Sobel. I practically ran over to me protector, Gene. His eyes showed no sympathy, knowing full and well why I was so scared.

With a face dry of expression, he handed me my bag, "We're moving out."

I took it back with a bitter glare, "I _heard_."

"Good," he walked off without me.

"The fuck crawled up his ass and died?" I snarled under my breath.

He turned abruptly on his heal, brows nearly together, "I heard that, Roselle."

"Oh, again with my goddamn fucking last name!" I yelled, not caring who heard my anger. "What is up with you men, and when you get mad, I get addressed by my last name? Huh? Can you answer that?" I flew my hands in the air, "Anybody?"

Doc rolled his eyes, amused by my flare up. I wanted to flip him off, punch and kick him, anything to take my anger out. Because that was how I worked. When I got angry, it wasn't just a word you could look up in a thesaurus. My anger was more than that, and I hated how I worked.

"What's going on over here, Private?" Harry questioned between his gapped teeth. He was only a tad taller than me, and our eyes met. The late spring sun glared in our eyes, and I wanted to pummel him too.

"Nothing," I snarled, dramatically fixing the strap on my shoulder.

B.o.B.

Walking helped; my mother told me when I threatened to kill Billy. She said it was better to beat the earth with the soles of my feet than damage my younger brother's face. Looking back, I'm glad I listened, because I couldn't stand the thought of seeing Billy hurt again. I cringed against the feather-light breeze, seeing his bloody face mangled with the car…

"Does your shoulder hurt?" Hoobler asked, concern lining his round face.

"It's healing well, Hoobs. I'm fine," I sealed it with a convincing smile, and dropped my pace. He marched forward, gaining position beside Luz.

"Boone!" his voice called, followed by the sound of nearing gear rattling together. My pounded heart plummeted to my boots, swirling dizzily until it returned to my ribcage.

The face that I missed possibly too much came to my side, and towered above. The tall, plush grass waved around our legs as we waded through the open field. I didn't want to look over at him, I just took an odd interest in my surroundings.

"Boone?" I heard him hesitantly ask. "I haven't seen you since… you know."

My hand was suddenly curled around the thickness of his arm, my fingers wound in the fabric of his uniform. His blue eyes grew wide, looking from my grasp to my face. My feet stopped moving forward, as did his. My heart overthrew my head in a riot, and I unwillingly refused to release his arm. I wanted to feel his warmth, to grab his attention, to thank him… to hold him.

"Thank you… for that." Slowly my hand slid down his rolled up sleeve. I concentrated on the screaming eagle sewn proudly to his left shoulder sleeve.

"Of course, I saw you there and just couldn't leave you. Never leave a fallen brother- I mean sister behind," Bull chuckled uneasily, desperately trying to capture my attention.

I sighed, my lungs burning and a sour taste in my mouth, "What ever happened? What did I do to reverse whatever we had, Denver?" My fists were balled at my sides, determined to find out why he had abandoned my heart.

He clenched his teeth together, causing his temple to quiver. His mammoth fingers tightened around his weapon that was at the ready. With one hand, he scratched at his scalp in reply, "You're hair…"

"What?" I nearly gasped in disbelief. "You treat me like dog because I cut my hair? Is that _your reason_?"

He swallowed hard, his eyes the size of the moon. Then the rain came. It pelted my helmet, scattering my brain more than it already was.

"I _loved _your long hair, Boone. A man has to have something to hold onto…" He smiled weakly at me, desperately hoping that would resolve the problem.

"Jesus Christ, what a sorry excuse…" I walked off, certain I was so mad, and the rain was evaporating as it touched my helmet.

"Boone, wait!" Bull took one step to my four and caught my shoulder. His thumb dug into the healing wound, breaking through the struggling scab. As I fell to my knees in pain, I felt the blood gush from my shoulder once again.

"Holy shit, what's wrong?" Denver screamed, dropping down to me.

Gritting my teeth to hold down my screams, I tore off my jacket and pulled out a bandage from my bag. I attended to myself, careful not to distract the men.

We were now separated from the rest of the group as we kneeled in the wet, tall grass. "I got shot in the goddamn shoulder in Normandy. If you gave _two fucks _about me, and not my hair, you would know that!"

His sorrowful hands that we stretched to help recoiled, guilt coursing through his every ounce of body… and there was a lot there.

Once I had the bleeding backed up until Eugene could properly dress it, I gave Bull one last stabbing glare and stood to my shaking feet.

"I'm sorry-"

Bull's apology was cut short by the threatening sounds of a rounds going off on the other side of the trees.

He grabbed my trousers, instantly bringing me to the muddy ground. "Jesus, are you trying to kill me?"

He gave me an unwarranted shove, "I'm trying to save you, Private."

"Here we go," I said just loud enough for him to hear. My heart still thumping harshly, I dug my elbows and knees into the muddy earth and snaked through the grass. From where we were, so far back, the impact of the mortars did not seem dangerous. But as Bull and I crawled nearer to the defining noise, I told myself I had to remain calm.

Though the pain in my shoulder now trickled into my back, I could not risk losing another wounded man due to thinking of myself. I reached back, still crawling with one arm, and took out a syrette of morphine. Like clockwork I put it in my teeth as the bloodcurdling sound of a screaming man rang through the gray sky. It was all like clockwork.

I saw Easy's helmet run through the ditch as artillery struck large gashes in the earth's crust. Instinctively, I jabbed the painkiller into the soldier's thigh before even attending to his wounds.

"I have to go," Bull told me mindlessly, as I turned the gawking man onto his stomach.

"Don't get hurt," I replied without him hearing, just like clockwork as well. I had, and would, tell these men over and over not to get hurt. Unfortunately, they didn't have much control over it.

B.o.B.

The chills ran down to my bones, as I huddled lonesomely into the wall of my makeshift foxhole. The rain of nature had not halted, but at least the downpour of bullets from the enemy on the other side of the field had ceased. Occasionally, a lone round would pop. I would shrink, begging God to not let me hear the word 'medic' be shouted.

A body jumped into my hole as I drew my jacket closer. I could tell without even seeing his dirty face, that it was Eugene. Every one of these men had a different scent about them, some I enjoyed…and others not as much.

"Hey- Gene-" I chirped through chattering teeth.

He placed himself right beside me, the sound of mud squishing through the treads on his boots. The moonlight illuminated his pale face, splattered with mud. There were also squirming worms as the bottom of our 'homely' pit. He began digging through his bag, like us medics always did.

"I got you something," he grinned, pulling out a sliver wrapped bar. "Chocolate, from Talbert. 'Said he scored a poncho too. He also said the bar was to go directly to you, Brave. So, enjoy."

A smile emerged on my trembling lips as I took the prize from Eugene's hands, "I'll share, even though I'm pissed at you."

I broke the frozen candy into halves and handed my best friend his chunk. Happily, we pulled back the wrapper and nibbled on the dark sweetness of the hellacious night. I tugged at Gene's unzipped jacket, and he opened it up for me to crawl into. The warmth from his body kindly welcomed me, and I dozed off, sucking the remaining chocolate from the crevices of my teeth.

B.o.B.

** MEDIC! MEDIC!**

"Shit!" I jumped ten feet out of my goose bumped skin, jolting against Gene who's warmth I had been leeching off.

"What? What's going on?" Gene tried to shove me away, ignoring the calls from deep in the bush.

"Doc, wake up. I think Talbert's hurt!"

He waved me off, "You're dreaming, go away."

"Eugene Gilbert Roe! Wake up!" I slapped him firmly across the face before crawling out of the steep incline.

Hearing his whimpering, and Liebgott shouting for his life, I wound through the apple orchard. The ground was slippery, but a steam arose from it getting kicked around by my running boots. I saw the breath of another man to my left hanging in the air, and I realized Gene had come to his senses.

"Joe! Is he alright?" I called, dropping to Floyd's side as he was propped against a tree.

Gene began to apply pressure to the definite bayonet wound. I was confused as Smith cried with his hands covering his face.

"Dipshit over here stabbed him!"

Gene flashed a light into Floyd's pained blue eyes, "We gotta get him out of here." Spina appeared from his flank of the line, with a stretch against his back. I helped them placed the skewered farm boy onto the mobile cot.

"Has anybody ever told you how beautiful you are, Lottie?" Floyd drawled, his head lifelessly rolling against the stretcher.

I chuckled lightly, patting his chest as Spina and Gene carried him off. "Thanks for the chocolate, Floyd. You're gonna be fine, Tabby."

Once they were engulfed by the fog, I turned to Joe would was glaring at the skittish boy rocking on the rim of the foxhole.

"Can I crash here? I don't feel like walking back," I asked Liebgott, my eyes hanging low with exhaustion.

"Fine by me," he said kindly, gesturing towards they're much drier foxhole. Once again, I begged Joe for his warmth and I nestled into his side. Once I had soaked up all I need, my chattering teeth stopped and my heart regained a normal pace.

If I learned anything in this war, it's that a medic needs more than just 40 winks.

**Got any ideas for me? Anything you would like to see? Ideas make me update faster… :)**


	17. Silhouettes

**Been looking forward to this chapter myself for awhile…**

**Enjoy!**

"_And I'm screaming at the top of my lungs pretending  
The echoes belong to someone,  
Someone I used to know  
And we become silhouettes when our bodies finally go  
Ba ba ba ba..."_

**Silhouettes**

Today was our seventh day in Europe, and I wanted nothing more than a long, hot shower. We were filthy, covered in blood, and our uniforms were a mess. The lone week had seemed more like an eternity, and my stomach was the first to complain as we awoke the next morning.

"I'm hungry for breakfast," I said in disbelief with myself.

Eugene looked up from his hands, "_You _of all people are hungry fo breakfast. No way."

"I can hardly believe it myself." I looked over at Buck, Welsh, Bill and Hoobs as they hung over a map like vultures. "Any of you got any grub?" The chocolate bar from last night wasn't holding me off.

"I got a couple crackers in my back pocket." Buck replied, distracted.

"Buck ass flavored crackers! Yum, my favorite!" I said sarcastically, slapping his upper back.

Hoobler looked up at me wgith a snarky grin, "Would you rather have Bull ass flavored crackers, cowgirl?"

"Asshole," I blushed violently, shoving Donald.

_Take cover!_

Before I could even look up into the foreign sounding sky, Luz grabbed the back of my uniform and dragged me into the dusty foxhole.

"Stay down, Brave," Eugene instructed, as Luz scrambled for his radio.

The sickening sound of a body crashing to the earth was my cue, and with the help of Spina I pulled a man into the foxhole.

"Easy 6, Easy red 6! I've got mortars across my line! No sign of infantry yet- I'm pulling the OP in, over!" Harry Welsh cupped the bottom of the radio, bellowing against the sound of enemy mortars pounding the ground.

"I'm going down the line, Gene! You take him!" I yelled, throwing my helmet onto my mass of tangled hair. Slinging my shoulder bag over my head, I followed behind Winters who screamed out orders. The spinning motions and sounds around me were a blur as I ran close to the ground. Unarmed, I couldn't follow Winters' orders of shooting at the silhouette on the horizon. I couldn't imagine the thought of shooting at something as beautiful as a silhouette.

Sharp edged Tiger tore through the plush leaves of green trees. They rolled with ease over the ditch, forcing Fox and Dog Company from their trenches. As the shells threw massive amounts of soil at the fleeing men, I chose to shield my medically trained eye away from the mass of bodies.

"Where the hell did they come from?!" I screamed, throwing myself into a shallow foxhole, waiting for the next cry for a medic.

The blood curdled as it made contact with my boiling spinal cord, hearing the cry directly above me. Carefully raising my head from the hole, I saw Smokey sprawling around with blood gushing from his head. His machine gun at fallen at his side.

More bullets ripped menacingly through the foliage around me as I collapsed at Smokey's side. Looking over to find morphine in my bag, I saw McGrath and Welsh crouched dead center in the open.

"What the fuck are they doing?" I said irritably to myself, praying I wouldn't have to run out there to save their asses.

I heard Buck's deep voice scream desperately for me, and as I salted sulfur powder on Smokey's forehead, I prayed Eugene was available.

"Lottie, I'm fine. Go on!" Smokey waved me away, repositioning his machine gun legs. I stood with trembling legs, watching as new beats mowed down a forest. I sighed a heave of relief, thankful to see the friendly smooth and curved line design of our own Sherman tanks.

Standing behind half of a remaining tree, I watched the scene play out before me. The machine gunner stood confidently atop their steed, swiveling the firearm to the enemy. The Krauts fell down, crashing to the earth like dandelion seeds on a breezy day,

"thank you, 2nd Armor," I sang to myself, feeling my heart regain a normal pace.

The Battle of Bloody Gulch had been won.

_My Dearest Johnny,_

_ I hope that this letter finds you. Please know I've written you a million letters to you in my mind, but you know me, I've never been good with words. I'm sending this from England, which is the closest thing to home at the moment. I guess you've got a million questions, so I should start from the beginning._

_ I'm in the 101__st__ Airborne division, the men that parachuted on D-Day. I hope our daring act made it onto a broadcast. Turns out, I don't make a good soldier, so I've been assigned a nurse. I landed safely in France even though we all missed our drop zone. It was quite chaos to reestablish ourselves, but the men in my company destroyed four German batteries at Brecourt Manor on D-Day, in the afternoon. Now it is D-Day plus 32 as I write to you, but it seems only yesterday. When I landed, though, I was brought to the attention of two enemy men and I was wounded in the shoulder by their fire. I am almost fully recovered, but the scar will always be there. Since then we've invaded a small French town by the name of Carentan, and just a week ago I assisted the men in another assault of the Battle of Bloody Gulch. That is all the action I've seen in Europe. _

_ I've got to write of my company, because they are my family. We're called Easy Company, and our motto is Currahee, just to give you some background information. Where do I even start with these men? The first that comes to mind is my short friend George Luz… he's the clown of the company and always manages to keep our spirits high. I think I speak for the rest of the men as well, but I don't know how I would manage without him. His pal, Frank Perconte, is my pocket Italian. He loves to collect watches, is a spit fire of a man and likes his Spaghetti traditionally Italian. Then there is Donald Malarkey, Alex Penkala and Skip Muck. I always have to say their names together, because they are all attached at the hip. Donald Hoobler is a sweetheart that thinks he is tougher than his big heart really is. He reminds me of you, Johnny, and I don't know what I would do without either of you. Bull Randleman is the finest soldier you will ever meet, and I have a certain admiration for him. My officers are Lewis Nixon, who is drunk all the time; Richard Winters, who could lead me through fire and I would trust it, and Harry Welsh who only talks of his gal back home. 'Wild' Bill Guarnere is my right hand man, who is always there for this ole girl when things are rough. Joe Liebgott is funny, witty and clever with a passionate hate for the Germans._

_ Eugene Roe is my fellow medic and I'm not sure I can find the words to describe what he means to me. Gene is my backbone, and I suppose that is the best way to describe him. He stands at my side through thick and thin blood, always offers advice and coos me with his Cajun accent. I value our companionship more than all the pearls in the sea, and I love him very much. I don't have anything back home but you, and Eugene is what I fight for over here. I hope one day you get to meet these men so you can appreciate their comradeship as I do._

_ I don't know what my future holds, but as of this moment, I would like you to know I am alive and kicking. Is father the same? I'm almost afraid to ask, John Boy. And, how are you? Is your leg healing? How is my favorite dog Husker? Please place some flowers on Billy's and momma's graves on Sundays, like I always did. I miss you so much that sometimes it pains my heart, but know that I am fighting for you. Sometimes I see your eyes in the eyes of the men I am caring for. Though they are complete strangers, I still see the home in their eyes. _

_Forever and always yours,_

_Loretta Lou Roselle_

_Private, Easy Company, 101__st__ Airborne, 506__th__ PIR_

Malarkey's POV:

It was good to be alive.

With one hand combing through the tall shoots of green, late summer grass, and my other's finger wrapped around a cool beer, I let out a shrill laugh into the baby blue sky.

Opening my eyes against the broiling sunshine, I caught a glimpse of a shadow lingering at the side of the path as we sped past.

"Hit the break!" I ordered Moore, setting down my half- empty beer as we rolled to a stop.

Moore turned around to face me, "What the hell, Malark?"

"I swear to God, I just saw something over there." I squinted my eyes to try and locate the figure.

"You're drunk." Alton replied plainly, turning the key back into ignition.

I began to climb out of the motorcart, without a doubt in my mind. Honing my ears against the cicadas in the remote trees, I tried to listen to the grass around me. Suddenly the blades rustled together to my left. I heard scratching and panting, and a small nose sniffle.

"Over here," I waved on Moore, who was still convinced I had lost my mind.

As I opened the grass ahead of me, two bright blue orbs of life looked up at me. A child with his arms wrapped around his legs, with his chin pressed into his knees, looked up at me. He blinked back biting tears, only illuminating his striking eyes further. Tattered bits of fabric hung on his famished and dirty body.

"We gotta take him back," I said quietly, more to myself than to Moore. When I reached down, he tried to scramble away, scratching at my willing arms. "We're going to take you to a doctor, fellow."

Once I mentioned a doctor, his body practically collapsed in relaxation and he allowed his no longer tense body into my arms. I carried him to the rumbling motorcycle, my eyes carefully watching his all the while.

"Take it slow," I asked Moore, and I positioned myself on the back edge of the machine.

Loretta was pacing about the dusty English village with a worried look on her tired face. Seeing her like this, I wished Moore and I had asked her to come along on the joyride. The girl needed to laugh. She wasn't anything like the other women I had been around in my life. Her stride wasn't gliding and graceful, and she didn't hold herself in an eloquent poise. She wasn't clumsy by any means, as her skilled fingers worked strategically at dying men. But, her pace was stiff, rather, like all the bones in her body were broken and it caused her pain to even… live.

The small boy that was riding in the compartment beside me still remained gravely silent. His blue eyes reminded me of the distance found on Private Blithe's. I knew he had a million things to say, but didn't have the required courage to release them. Perhaps Loretta would squeeze speech from the nameless child.

"Ey, cowgirl! Can you come here? I need you," I called, waving to her. She briefly looked up from the earth she kicked around.

The straw haired boy shrunk into the leather seat of the 'borrowed' motorcycle, and I shot him a glance of encouragement. He still remained hidden as Loretta trotted to the vehicle.

"I should wring you out to dry, Donald Malarkey! Do you know how dangerous it is to just go on joyrides like that?" she scolded, with both fists pressed into her hips.

"Yes, mother. I won't ever do it again, mother." I managed to calm her down, "Anyway, I needed you because Moore and I found a kid in the field-"

"What?" She loudly said, peering over the edge of the seat. The boy shriveled smaller into the side of the cart, squinting his eyes against the noon sun. "Good God, he's terrified!"

"It's a wonder we got him to come along. He's just simply skin and bones… and I couldn't even get out his name.

Loretta tucked a loose curl behind her ear, revealing her sweet and pink complexion. Her arched eyebrows titled, beckoning the animal-like child into her open arms.

"C'mere, hun. I'm a doctor, see?" She pointed towards the white armband that bore a red cross.

Just as when I tried to lift him, he relaxed at the sight of the universal symbol for help. He wrapped his trembling arms around Loretta's neck, and she scooped her hands under his rear. She gave me one last wide look, asking me to come along for my help. Slowly she took him to a large tree, to properly look him over, without Eugene panicking on her, I assumed.

"He's practically starving," Loretta said to nobody in particular, pulling back his straw hair to feel his forehead. She kneeled down to his height, her restless eyes meeting with his scared but curious orbs. "What's your name, sweetpea?" She asked, her Oklahoma drawl still thick. As I observed her observe him, I slid a white cancer stick from my new pack of Lucky Strikes.

The child looked up abruptly from Lottie, only to eye my cigarette flicker to life.

"Give me… a smoke." He voice croaked, but it was more of an order.

I couldn't help but chuckle at the child's rare act, but Loretta quickly shot me a glare in disapproval.

"If we give you a smoke, will you tell me about yourself?" Loretta questioned, taking his hand to capture his attention once more.

He nodded slowly, still eyeing my Strike with a look of addiction. I pulled the pack from my pocket once more, and he graciously took it. As if he had done it since the day he was born. Unable to hide my wry smile, I kneeled down to light the stick.

Partially in disbelief, Loretta continued to interrogate him, "Okay, tell me how old you are."

Taking his two fingers from cradling the cigarette, he held up all five fingers on his left hand, and two other on his right.

"You're seven?"

He nodded almost with confidence, taking a long draw.

"What's your name, child?"

He smiled smally, pulling the cigarette from his lips so he could speak, "Alfred… but me mates call me Alfie."

Alfie had a thick English accent, that only added to his childish charm.

Loretta smiled kindly back at him, gaining his trust, "And where are your parents? Why did my friend Donald find you all alone?"

"Don't know… I'm a bastard." He said curtly, leaning against the tree.

I laughed, "Get a load of this!"

Loretta shot me another scolding glare. "Now, young man you will not use that word!"

"It's true! I don't know who me father is, and my mum left me!" He defended himself, causing Lots to lean back. Now both us were speechless.

"Now what do we do?" I mustered, throwing the smoldering cancer stick to the ground.

Holding tightly onto his hand as to see he wouldn't run again, Loretta stood, her face lined with worry. "First, get some food into him… and then talk to Winters. He'll know what to do."

"Please don't send me to that orphanage again, ma'am," Alfie begged, tugging on Loretta's arms. His voice croaked and the burnt cigarette fell from his teeth.

She tenderly ran her hand over his sandy hair, "I'm going to take care of you Alfie, and that's a promise."

B.o.B.

Loretta's POV:

I couldn't get the child off of my mind as I slowly spooned mashed potatoes and canned meat into my mouth. The men around me bumbled around me like bees, teasing the replacements and talking about the girls they had hooked up with.

I had left Alfie with Eugene when he unwilling fell asleep in my lap. Exhausted and famished, I winced at the thought of his past.

"Cat gotcha tongue?" Liebgott teased, gently shoving me into Talbert.

"Good to see you're feeling better after the whole bayonet ordeal, Tab." I patted his back, smiling from under the clean hair that hung around my face.

"Your welcome for the chocolate, cowgirl. I never got the chance to say that, bleeding and all, you know. This farm boy still knows his manners."

I threw my arm around his shoulders and gave him a tight squeeze, genuinely pleased to see him again.

Smokey Gordon limped to the front of the makeshift dining hall, leaning heavily on his crutches. As I eyed the row of Purple Heart pinned to his chest, I painfully remember his ghostly white skin and expression of shock at the Battle of Bloody Gulch. Each one of these men's injuries were permanently branded into my skulls so I had no choice but to remember them.

_The Night of the Bayonet_

_The night was filled with dark and cold,  
When Sergeant Talbert, the story's told,  
Pulled on his poncho and headed out,  
To check the lines dressed like a Kraut._

The room roared with laughter as Smokey recited the poem. Every man within reach leaned over and slapped Floyd on the back, teasingly. I even glanced over to find Winters and Nixon smirking, knowing what was to come. Malarkey and Vest entered, and shoved Joe over so they could sit by me.

"How's the kid," Malarkey whispered, tucking a napkin into his shirt collar.

"He's with Doc Roe. He's exhausted, Don."

Smokey continued with his theatrical poem-

_Upon a trooper, our hero came,  
Fast asleep, he called his name,  
Smith! Oh, Smith! Get up! It's time  
To take your place out on the line._

_And Private Smith, so very weary,  
Cracked an eye all red and bleary,  
Then grabbed his rifle, he did not tarry,  
Hearing Floyd but seeing Jerry._

Smith begged for mercy as Smokey continued on as Easy's roaring laughter eased-

_DON'T! cried Tab, IT'S ME!, and yet,  
Smith charged, tout suite, with bayonet.  
He lunged, he thrust, both high and low,  
And skewered the boy from Kokomo._

Floyd bit his lip, and glanced around the room with a flush on his cheeks.

_And as they carried him away,  
Our punctured hero was heard to say,  
When in this war you venture out,  
Best never do it dressed as a Kraut!_

"Since you weren't wounded by the enemy, and thus didn't qualify for a Purple Heart; we've taken matters into our own hands. Tab- this is for you!" Smokey unpinned one of his three Purple Hearts from his chest and lifted it in the Lucky Strikes' filled air. The room let out an uproar of celebration and appreciation for their boy from Kokomo.

Turning behind him, he attempted to defend himself, "I could've shot the kid a dozen times! I just… didn't think we could spare a man!" The room began to chat hurriedly again, until Lipton walked up to the front of the room. Disappointment and concern lined his face, and I noticed a curved scar under his eye from Carentan.

"A couple of announcements, men! First, listen up!" he continued. "First, the training exercise scheduled at 2200 has been canceled." Everybody cheered, and Muck lifted up his arms to praise God.

"Second… all passes are hereby revoked. We're headin' back to France, so pack up all your gear. We will not be returning to England, boys. Those who have not made out a will, go to the supply office. Trucks depart at 0700. As you were."

Leaving with large amounts of food remaining on my plate, I left the room filled with my comrades. A million thoughts gushed through the water gates of my brain. I wanted nothing more than to have Bull come and embrace me from behind. I simply wanted to talk to him, without me storming off, and to talk about the boy that I had on my hands. I would have to talk to Winters in days time, now that I knew of our coming departure.

My boots clomped down the cobblestone road, the setting sun kissing it goodnight with warm orange lips, I went to find Eugene and talk to _him_.

**What do you guys think of Alfie? I know some of you thought he should have his own story, but he will be a crucial part to Bull and Loretta's relationship… hint, hint.**

**Please be a dear and write me a few words in review? I love 'em. **


	18. Liberation

**Okey pokey… sorry long time since an update. Friends be breaking up with their boyfriends, State tests and thrush in my mouth… I hope any and all reading this enjoys!**

**Also, I fully realize that Alfie coming along is **_**completely **_**impossible and unreasonable… but c'mon, it's FanFiction.**

"_Everybody wants safety (safety, love)  
Everybody wants comfort (comfort, love)  
Everybody wants certain (certain love)  
Everybody but me"_

**Liberation**

I couldn't even feel the ground beneath my feet as I walked towards the officer's headquarters. I nervously wrung my garrison with a red cross embroidered on the front in my sweaty palms. Running the practiced begging through my mind, I thought perhaps the intoxicated Nixon would be easier to talk to. No, Winters would be the only one who could understand. He had understood my circumstances once before, and he had to for Alfie too.

Keeping my eyes low, I nodded at the guards who stood lighting their cigarettes. Oh, if they only knew what those things did to their lungs.

My hand was shaking so miserably and my heart beating so strongly, I barely managed to open the door of the occupied building. Men with cups of coffee in one hand and a wrinkled map in the other paced across the scuffed hardwood floor.

I looked through my eyelashes to search for Winters, but he was nowhere to be found. I even looked for the shine of Lewis's parted black hair, but I couldn't spot him either.

I tapped a rushing and panting messenger's shoulder, keeping my voice throaty. I was in no state to explain again why I, a woman, was here. "Have to you seen Lieutenant Winters anywhere, sir?"

"Yea, he's upstairs," he mumbled busily, not even looking up from his map to acknowledge me.

At the corner of my eye I say two flights of stairs, and with a quick thanks, I made my way up them. It was quieter up here; less papers flying around and men barking orders. A door along the wall of the dark hallway was slightly ajar, so that told me privacy wasn't needed in this room.

"Lieutenant Winters, are you in here?" I asked through the crack, trying to hold my wavering voice steady. I knew I was about to as so much of this man that already had the world on his shoulders.

"Enter."

I blinked hard and pointed the unfilled toe of my boot in the room with newspaper pasted to the walls as a wartime substitute for wallpaper.

"Good afternoon, sir," I said, looking out the window to find the sun beginning to slip into a slumber behind the trees. "I mean, sirs." I corrected myself, spying Nixon leaning back lazily in a chair.

"Hey, Lottie," Nixon said loosely but mildly agitated. Winters' face was lined with concern as well, still clutching a long piece of parchment. I had come at a bad time. A very bad time.

"You guys look busy, I'll come back later." I mumbled, probably much too solemnly for my own good. My heart sank, fearing I wouldn't be able to take Aflie with Easy.

"No please, it's fine nurse. What did you need to see me about?" Dick said kindly, the creases in his face relaxing.

I took another timid step forward, my heart beating to violently I thought it and my brain had switched places. "Nothing personal, Lew. But I need to talk to Lieutenant Winters alone… if you don't mind."

"It's alright I need some more Vat- coffee anyway, Dick." Nixon stood, speaking as if we all didn't know he was an alcoholic. He patted my back lightly as he left, closing the door behind him quietly.

Richard shuffled the papers on his desk so he could safely rest his elbows down without the risk of getting ink on his sleeves. He leaned forward, "Please, sit down."

I just let everything roll carelessly and helplessly off of my bumbling tongue: "So, Malarkey found a boy in a field the other day. His name is Alfie and he's seven. The kid doesn't have a mother or father, and was basically starving when we found him. Doc Roe and I did a full examination on him, and otherwise he is sound. Even stronger in mind, I could say. He said he ran away from an orphanage, and I was just wondering…"

Winters' mouth was dangling open slightly, his icy blue lakes of ice wide with questions. He shifted his shoulders forward, as if I was telling a story and he had to hear how it ended.

I sucked in a lungful of air, "We, as a company, were wondering if he could stay with us. And I know it sounds absolutely insane and maybe I've had too much morphine, sir, but I'm all the kid's got…"

He leaned back heavily, like he was content I had finished. I crossed my legs and looked at the floor, attacking myself internally for being so obnoxious and open. All that could be heard in the office was my heavy breathing and the rhythmic tick of the abandoned grandfather clock.

He took in a heavier breath than men and leaned forward, forcing my muddy eyes to look into his. "Loretta, we're about to leave again- to liberate Holland. The men don't know yet; it's Operation Market Garden and could end the war and get us home by Christmas."

"So that's a no?" My heart was sliding down my spine and into my legs.

His chest heaved, with his auburn brows nearly pressed together, "I'll have to talk to Colonel Sink, but I think we can manage a way to have him come with us."

"Thank you, sir. From myself and Alfred. He begged us not to send him back to the orphanage, sir. I can never thank you enough." I smiled and stood. My back erect, I promptly slapped on hand against my side and held my other firmly above my right eye. Richard stood after me, a pleased smile teasing his lips.

"Thank you, sir," I said once more before collecting my garrison cap and hurrying out the door. I wanted to tell Eugene right away.

B.o.B.

"Boop!" Luz made a noise, and the small group shortly cheered their excitement at the perfect bull's eye. "Goodness gracious!" Luz pretended to act like he didn't know Buck would make it.

"C'mon, gentleman! Two packs, I know you have 'em." Buck and Luz chorused, sticking their grabbing hands out to the new replacement Babe Heffron. Him and Bill had hit it off quite well, seeing as they were two streets apart from each other back home in South Philly.

I would argue that the men were being too hard on the new soldiers. But I also saw where their bitterness was coming from. The Army brought them in to fight in the place of the fallen guys from Normandy, Carentan and Brecourt. They were standing in the place of our dear friends, and we had nobody to blame so we decided to hate them. It wasn't right, but it seemed right. Those with a hurting heart always try to find a way…

I watched Bull smile at his friends through his thick cigar. The fat stick was always accompanied with a wide class of whiskey. A few months back perhaps, I couldn't even stand a small whiff of alcohol. Not only did the putrid poison hurt my nose, but the thought of leaving my father passed out on the couch made me sick to my stomach. All of that all seemed so distant now. Far from the back of my mind, though, it still latched onto my heart ruthlessly.

I felt a guilty smile creep onto my lips as I sheepishly admired Bull. The way his smile light up anybody around him, the subtle curls of his short, blonde hair. He looked as if he wasn't missing me, or even thinking of me. But why should he? We didn't have much, so why would he give this tired nurse a second thought? I scolded myself for even glancing at him.

But there was something in the way he moved, the light in his eyes… it made my heart beat that much faster.

Not one for hanging around the men and their gatherings, Eugene stayed back and played babysitter for me. He said I needed to breathe and have a good time. I wondered if anybody else thought that, or if Gene was just being a protective mother hen over me.

I mindlessly spun the white, crooked straw around the lip of my bottle of Coca-Cola. My legs were properly crossed under the table as I chose to ignore the sinful conversation between a woman and soldier going on behind me.

"Want anything to munch on, cowgirl?" a cheery voice faintly slurred behind me. Though I distantly recognized my nickname, I was too concentrated on the handsome man named Denver in the middle of the smoky bar.

"Loretta?" it asked again, this time followed by a gently punch to my shoulder.

Startled, I nearly spilled the sweet dark cola across the dented table, "Huh?"

Hoobler's round face curved around my shoulder to take a look at my sallow face. "I asked if you were hungry."

I ran my hand along the loose fitting belt at my waist, as if I was asking for its opinion. "Uh, not really, Hoobs."

He pulled out a wobbly chair from out under the table and lowered himself down. Propping up his head with a fist, he looked long and hard at me. I looked down shyly at the table with lover's initials carved in the grain. I worried he saw me starring at Bull.

"I know two sets of initials that are missing on here…" Hoobler said with a muted grin, reaching down to his pocket.

The shiny blade sprung out from its polished bone shell, and Don stabbed it into the hardwood. His tongue slightly peeking from his parted lips as he began to carve two sets of letters into the table:

D. R.

L. R.

I smiled, the corners of my tired eyes crinkling with happiness.

"There, that looks about right." He said, stashing his knife away and opening his large arms. "Give me a hug, cowgirl."

I wrapped my arms around his neck and whispered thankfully into his shoulder, "Thank you, Don."

He gave me one last squeeze. "I've gotta go raise some hell. And while I'm gone, go talk to the man. It would be good for both of you."

I nodded as he stood up, but I knew I wouldn't ever be brave enough to walk up to him a strike up a conversation. I pretended to watch Don walk away, but I was really just searching for Denver who had left his position by the dart board.

Following my nose to the smoke of his cigar, I quickly saw him leaning against the heavy beam by the door of the bar. I couldn't tear my eyes away from him, so I silently watched. I felt my eyebrows move upwards and my sight grow blurred. Unwanted tears stung in my eyes as I watched him move and look. His blue eyes were dimmed while he barely listened to Bill's roaring laugh. He was looking, searching, and I hope it was for me.

Bull pulled the glowing cigar from his round lips and flicked it at his side. Our eyes met briefly, but for what felt like an eternity we stared at each other. He smiled as small and weak as his could, and I quickly shook strands of scraggly hair before my set of misty eyes. I didn't want him to see me broken. But it was an emotion the men saw so much of, whether I liked it or not.

"Hey ease up, Cobb. It's a unit citation." Hoobler delicately pounced on the much disliked Cobb who was being an ass to a replacement.

Miller, who was in Bull's squad, reluctantly unpinned the rectangle of blue from his chest and laid it defeated on the table. With a solemn glance up at Randleman, James exited the low murmur of the tavern.

I timidly looked through the loose curls that hung around my eyes as Bull's large feet sounded against the floor. Jamming his cigar back in his mouth, he picked up the pin for Normandy. He looked up from the piece of metal to the less than sober Cobb.

Raising his eyebrows slightly like he always did before he spoke, he said firmly, "Shit Cobb, you didn't fight in Normandy neither…"

"I got hit in the plane before I had a chance to jump!" Cobb was quick to defend himself.

I smiled in support. Bull began to leave the scene, so I turned and rested one arm on the scratched table. Pretending not to listen for his footsteps that I secretly wished would sit beside me, I traced our fresh initials with my finger.

His footsteps came to a brief halt. My heart beating so violently that I could feel it in my throat, I slowly looked up to see who was leaning against my lonely table.

Bull's blue eyes were twinkling under an invisible hat, and his held out a loose fist and nodded, "Evening, Loretta."

"Evening, Denver." I said surely, a faint smile teasing the corner of my lips. I couldn't hide the dimple denting my cheeks when one of his eyes shut in a quick wink. I winked back at him, and seeming satisfied he turned and disappeared through the heavy smoke.

No 'Roselle'. He called me Loretta. It was no 'Boone', but it sure as heel was better than being called 'Private'.

"Hey y'all! I gots us an announcement to make!" Smokey Gordon yanked Lipton over, and he stood over him with his hands on Lip's shoulders. "This here is Carwood Lipton-"

"He's already married, Smokey!" Malarkey called out, making the room smirk.

Smokey rolled his eyes and continued, "This here is Carwood Lipton, Easy Company's new First Sergeant!" The room cheered and clapped as Lip smiled shyly.

"And, now at his new position, he says he has an announcement to make." Smokey patted his shoulders once more and hopped from the hearth of the fireplace behind them.

Lipton cleared his throat and gave the room a short look over, "Well, I hate to break the mood here boys, but we're moving out again." Lipton fixed his eyes on the ground and gave a small nod to signal that was it. He turned and disappeared through the back of the bar.

Nobody spoke and smoke lingered in the silent air. I gulped the last large drink of my soda. Shyly, I shuffled up to Malarkey. I already knew this was coming, so I felt liable to offer my shoulder.

Malarkey smiled weakly as life began to lowly rumble in the bar again. He wrapped his muscular arm around the small of my back and pressed his temple to mine. I leaned in tighter to him, feeling his pulse beat in time with mine. I wanted to stay with them, safely, like this forever.

B.o.B.

"As you can see this is called Operation Market Garden. In terms of Airborne Division involved, this one's even bigger than Normandy. We're dropping deep into occupied Holland. The allied objective is to take this road here, between Eindhoven and Arnenm, so that the two British armored divisions can move up into Arnenm. Our job is to liberate Eindhoven… stay there, and wait for the tanks." Winters informed Easy. Nixon moved up to the front, with his arms folded behind his back.

"The entire European advance has been put on hold to allocate resources for this operation. It's Montgomery's personal plan- we'll be under British command." They all groaned in objection and I swallowed hard.

"The good news is, if this works the tanks will be up and over the Rhine and into Germany. That could end the war and get us home by Christmas." That slightly lifted the mood in the large shadowed tent. The sun was shining bright outside, which was a luxury in England. Shining, after all, was optional.

"It will be a day time jump, and intelligence doesn't expect much opposition. They think the Krauts in Holland are mostly kids and old men… and we should take them by surprise. In any case, say goodbye to England, I don't think they're gonna call this one off.

I looked at my brothers surrounding me. I had already had a chance to let this all sink in, but they hadn't.

B.o.B.

Two B-52's rumbled overhead and I tightened my grip on Alfie's little hand.

"Lottie! Lottie you're hurtin' me!" Alfie's small voice whimpered, struggling to pull his hand from mine.

I knelt down to look into his blue eyes that reminded me so much of Bull's. "I'm sorry, honey child. I'm just worried. Mostly about you. You know what to do, right? You remember?"

I waited for him to nod.

"You remember… don't ever let go of my hand. If your hand is in my hand, you're safe. You hear?"

He nodded surely again, squirming in the adjusted equipment we had made makeshift for his small body. Still a few feet shorter than Perconte, Eugene and I had managed to fit the jump gear to his tiny figure. We were still desperately trying to get some weight onto him.

The plan was to strap him to my stomach through the jump. Since intelligence thought it would be a smooth jump, Colonol Sink was hesitant, but trusted Winters' word.

A jeep approached us as we were right by the road. Popeye was _standing _at the back of the jeep, with a shit-eating smile plastered on his comical features.

"Heya, Popeye! How's the ass doing?" I yelled with a smile, forgetting a child's ears were in hearing distance.

"Pretty good! Wanna have a look see?" He teased with a wink. I just shook my head at him and watched him proudly drive by.

Then I saw _him_. His familiar icy stare protruding from his long face. It was Herbert Sobel, the one and only, and I only prayed there wasn't another man like him. I winced, squeezing my eyes together. I saw burned into my eyes, his sweating face with his fist recoiled to punch me. But here I was, relatively healthy, and breaking every rule possible.

I half heartedly saluted him, and it was returned by a sarcastic smirk. _Asshole. _

Swallowing my pride, I knelt down again to check Alfred's gear for the hundredth time. He eyed the American flag band around my right arm. It gave me fight I needed today. It matched the loose grip of the Red Cross and white band that spun around my left arm. This made Easy Company feel safe, and return it gave me a sense of belonging.

B.o.B.

Alfie's hand was still folded tightly into my hand when my feet reached the ground. Small grunts escaped his accented mouth as I ran to keep up with the thin camouflage chute ahead. He had remembered what I told him.

With men running in all directions around me, my heart pounded fiercely. I wondered if Alfie could feel it beat against his back as he worked at the strings lacing across his chest. Easy would have been proud papa's, saying they had taught him right. The strong odor of the signal red smoke entered both of our noses. I quickly slipped the parachute risers from my shoulders and tore the remaining equipment from Aflie. I was so proud of him when I quickly looked at his face. No tears ran down his cheeks, but his eyes were filled with pure determination and courage.

I took his hand and readjusted my medical shoulder bag. We began to run to safely. I was limping, seeing as I was reaching down with one arm to help the boy keep up. Webster cut off the corner of the silk chute with a sharp knife and stashed the material into his breast pocket.

_Almost there. _I said to myself, seeing the crest of the safe ditch ahead. Before, I had only the men to fret over. Now, I had a child attached to my hip and my heart thumped a maternal love for the broken boy. It seemed as though I was his only family, and he was the same for me.

I panted heavily into poor Alfred's face as I looked over every bone in his body.

He gently swatted my worried hands away, "Lottie, I'm a'right."

Three planes loudly flew over, startling me. Alfie remained calm and pressed his body against the crumbling wall of the ditch. _Stay calm for him. Who am I kidding? He's calmer than me! _

Hoobler came crouching down the ditch with bottles in his hands. Practically cackling, he happily passed the beer down the line of men.

"I already _love _Holland," Donald chirped, guzzling the beer. I gently rolled my eyes and smiled sweetly down at Alfie.

Lieutenant Peacock crawled up to Bull, his jaw line glistening with sweat, "There's some kind of hold up ahead," he pointed to the vast land behind them, "We're going through this field here."

Bull raised his left arm in certain authority, and at once all the men stood up with their rifles close in hand. I gave Alfie's hand a quick squeeze and my tired knees buckled under the weight of the equipment hanging from my shoulders.

"Here we go, Mae," I heard Luz say quietly to me as he crawled from the ditch as well.

I gave Alfie one last reassuring look, "Here we go."

He clung tightly to my leg, his arms wrapped so tightly around it that my left foot began to grow cold. Tall, dark trees stood abruptly against the backdrop of a pale gray sky.

Every time a replacement would naively attach his bayonet to his rifle, Alfie would bury his face into my leg again.

"You can't shoot as straight with that thing on," Bull wisely instructed, briefly taking his cigar from his mouth.

Bull slowed his pace and allowed himself to fall back behind the first brave wall of men. I quickly grew _very _interested in the ground beneath me, and nervously played with Alfie's strawberry blonde hair.

"It looks like you've got some blonde hair growin' out of your leg, Loretta," Bull lightly laughed with his thick southern accent that matched mine.

"Sure looks that way," I tried to keep my nervous tone steady. "His name's Alfie."

Bull gave me a quick grin and crouched down to see his face, still walking along all the while. Aflie shyly hid his face from the goliath of a man. I ran my fingers through his hair once more, knowing he would have to trust other men of the company than just me.

"Want a smoke?" Bull asked with a clearly apparent smirk on his face.

"Denver!" I gently scolded, drawing the child nearer to my leg. I was trying my damnest to get him over his addiction, and all Bull was doing was encouraging it.

"What?" he defended himself, pulling a fresh pack of Lucky Strikes from his breast pocket. "I heard you like to smoke, boy?"

"Uh-huh," he mumbled, excitedly showing his face and reaching out with a grabbing hand.

Bull quickly yanked the white cancer stick back, "You can't have it until you give this pretty lady a break and ride with me. How's that sound?"

I watched in amazement as Alfie unpeeled himself from my leg and snatched the cigarette from Bull's massive hand. He pulled out a lighter and let the small flame flicker under the little Englander's red nose.

"C'mon Alf, we've got a war to win," Bull took him by the shoulders. Both of Alfie's feet fit onto one of Bull's boots. He rode along on top of Bull's foot, holding onto his much larger leg for life as Bull paced to catch up with the rest of the men.

I called after him, "Thanks, Bull!"

"Anytime, Boone!" he trotted off, grinning.

There is was. There was the 'Boone' I was so longing to hear.

**Reviews make me update faster! The next chapter will be intense! ;)**

**I love you for reading!**

**Oh, and Allie? I hope you caught that little line in there about England for you. ;)**


	19. Stay

**Important chapter… hopefully I wrote it well.**

**Also, I apologize for its length… or, if you like it, then you're welcome!**

**Stay**

The bright orange flags of children tickled my chin as they danced bellow me, screaming in delight. Some smiled up brightly at me, while another little girl hugged my leg. I sensed Alfie was growing jealous of the other children when he tugged me to keep walking.

"What's the hurry?" I called down to him, struggling through the sea of rejoicing people.

He gave my hand another yank, "I want to find Bull and ride on his shoulders so I can see better."

If only Alfie knew how much the thought of Bull tore at my chest. I slowed my pace, still trying to take in the sights while I let Alfie look for Denver. Hoobler tossed an adorable child in the air, both with a broad smile slathered on their round faces. I gave him another glance and knew he would be a great father when the time came.

Then I looked down at Alfie who pushed his strawberry blonde hair through the twirling dresses of lean women. I had become the motherly figure in this young boy's life, and I questioned whether I was doing it the correct way. Was it right to bring him along? Yes, it had to be. Otherwise he would be miserable in the orphanage. As my heart beat maternal, I knew I possibly need his character more than he needed me.

"There he is!" his shrill English accent cut through the thick Dutch lining the streets.

Bull's heavy arm was intertwined with another woman as he swung around in a celebratory dance. She quickly kissed his lips before he could remove his cigar, and my chest heaved. Any other woman would have been jealous, but hell, I would love to kiss him too.

A state of panic washed through my entire body when I felt Alfie's warm hand pull away from mine. As I felt a red color creep onto my cheeks, I searched and failed to see him bobbing head.

"Give me a piggyback, mate!" I faintly heard his cheery accent in the midst of the party. I looked up and saw him happily wrap his arms around Bull's forehead. Denver grabbed onto Alfie's ankles and spun around. Alfie cried in delight and Bull smiled… a smile larger and brighter than I had ever seen on his round face.

I slowly made my way towards them, observing the spindly Dutch language inscribed on the walls of Eindhoven.

"There you are!" I called gently up to a laughing Alfie. Bull was jumping on his toes, causing him to hold on for dear life. Bull paused and stared at me for what seemed like an eternity of time. I felt the already apparent color on my cheeks burn violently and I quickly darted my eyes to the cobblestone beneath me.

His touch was distantly familiar, and a feeling I wished I could absorb and hold in me forever. His mammoth hand slid from my elbow down to my wrist and I felt a stronger tug than Alfie could manage. I found my feet struggling to keep up as I was pulled along by Bull. My shoulders bumped into the civilians shoulders, but I knew they wouldn't mind with the new freedom on their mind.

I slightly resisted, just to play with Bull. He only tugged stronger and I could hear a throaty laugh coming from him as we went along. Suddenly I was standing between Bull and Hoobler. Don had one arm slung around Babe's shoulders and the other tightly around my waist. Aflie rested his small hand on my mass of curls. I saw Grant steal a quick kiss from a tall, blonde local. Typical Chuck. Though I saw all these happy people buzzing around me, I couldn't manage a smile.

The photographer ducked his head under the black sheet of the camera and adjusted the angle. Bull's hand was still wrapped around the circumference of my wrist. In one swift movement, he ran his hand down mine. I nervously fluttered my eyes shut, feeling the callouses of his hands run along the permanent crimson stains on mine. Denver slid his fat fingers into the grooves of mine, and held my hand firmly. I looked quickly up at him, a smile teasing my lips. Alfie was leaning over Bull's head with a sly smirk painted on his face. My heart flew once I saw Bull trying desperately not to beam. I took my helmet from my free hand and stood on my toes. I slapped the green metal onto Alfie's sandy hair.

"Drie… twee… een…" The photographer called in Dutch.

Bull squeezed my hand twice, a reminder this was reality. Finally the smile came, and I felt my lips curved and my eyes glow as I leaned into Bull. The bright flashed still remained in my sights after the photo was taken.

I couldn't slip the smile from my face as I imagined Bull, Alfie and I smiling together, almost like a family. Us and other Easy boys would forever reside on the mantle of an Eindhoven resident.

Bull shuffled at my side, but I stubbornly would not release his hand. Alfie still had a knowing smile on his face, and I felt my heart and stomach squirm. With a bright smile, Denver turned to me and latched his sights onto me. He held his hand secretively behind his back. I watched him slowly, careful to hold my eyes steady but interested. A flash of orange was held before his chest, a vibrant light that matched his crooked smile and sparkling eyes.

Denver held an orange tulip proudly in the space between us.

"It's beautiful, Bull. Thank you," I looked up at him through my eyelashes, speaking in the most girlish voice I had.

He replied by giving my hand another firm squeeze. Alfie watched fondly from above, a bright smile cracking his face in half.

"Keep moving!" A jittery Lt. Peacock screamed as he embraced a light post.

Bull released the hold on my hand and gently guided Alfie down his back. He slapped on his helmet and quickly looked back. I bent down to smell the fresh tulip, making sure Bull saw.

"Squad leader… gotta go."

And with that he disappeared into the massive and colorful crowd. I happily patted my helmet on Aflie's head and squeezed his hand in mine.

I held Alfred close to my side, and the tulip close to my chest so the delicate petals would not get lost with the twirling women. I playfully rolled my eyes as I saw Talbert passionately kissing a local woman. She straddled his hips with her teasing legs, and I worried that I wouldn't be ever to offer that sort of affection to Bull. But I shoved it from my shoulders and only tightened my grip on the two lovely things in my hands.

A desperate cry pierced my ears, immediately sending a violent shiver down my spin. A group of Dutch men with angry scowls pressed on their faces drug the same dark haired woman along the street. She struggled and began to sob as they dug their fingers into her skin.

Feeling my eyes grow wider, I quietly watched from behind as they shoved her down to her knees. I squeezed Alfie's delicate hand too strong once again, remembering how Sobel once did that to me. My knees still ached on the colder late nights.

But still I drug him behind, risking his innocent sight as I neared the crude screaming of the nearest group. The local civilians pounded their fists in unison, yelling a sharp word that I didn't understand.

The same woman was now crying loudly as another person sheared off her thick, black hair. My eyes dashed around in horror, unable to stop watching the public torture.

What had these women done?

Alfie shuddered behind my legs, hiding his eyes behind the back of my thighs. Searching for his distant hand, I soon realized I was very close to the edge of the chanting circle. Quickly I looked for a familiar face of Easy Company.

Nixon's sharp features came to my eyes first, and I pulled Alfie along to find an explanation for all of this. Still unable to look away, I saw them draw the spidery lines of a swastika on one woman's now bald head. Blood ran down into her eyes as they drug her along like a dog.

"What have they done, Lew?"

He grasped he flask, answering before taking a swig. "They slept with the Germans…"

I finally tore my eyes away, and looked up at him. Even through the alcohol, Nix's thick dark eyebrows were now curved in concern. Eindhoven seemed so lovely. And now, looking through the eyes of the combat nurse I had become, the only color I saw was the crimson blood now on the streets. My eyes once filled with pleasant hues of orange, I now only saw red through the streets.

B.o.B.

"Ey, ey, Lottie!" Something kicked at my bare feet. I burrowed deeper into the sweet bed of straw beneath me. "Cowgirl! Wake up!"

"Piss off…" I mumbled under my breath. I had _just _managed to fall asleep.

"You want to eat? It ain't breakfast… I know how much you hate that."

"_What_?" I shot up straight. I angrily gave Eugene a punch in the small of his back, thinking it was him who had woke me up from dead rest.

"God blessed voodoo witch doctor in the Bayou!" Gene yelled, swinging numb hands around. He fell against me in his spell and we lay in a pathetically exhausted heap. A heavy sleeper, Gene instantly continued his drooling on my lap.

Now wide awake from my peaceful slumber, I was able to see Hoobler with Aflie holding onto his hand.

"Alfred!" I yelled, jumping to my feet. The maternal panic pounded in my heart and I looked over his entire body.

He gently slapped away my worried hands, "Lots, I'm fine! I'm hungry, but fine."

I stood from my crouched position and readily glared at Hoolber who had a shit-eating smile slathered on his round face. His bear like ears raised with his smile, seemingly content with my bad mood.

"I feel bad for Bull in the morning," Hoobler teased, giving me a light punch in the shoulder.

I ignored the joke, "What did you say about a meal?"

"C'mon," he ordered, looping his arm with mine.

Groggily I let him drag me along until we came up to Webster and another man drifting off to sleep.

"Sleeping outside is for suckers…" Hoobler snickered and they stood up, yawning.

"This better be good, I was almost asleep." Webster complained as we came across what appeared to be an abandoned farmhouse. Instantly, a wooden cellar door handle flipped open, and a ray of yellow light poured from the opening. I gasped, and the three men immediately yanked out their sidearms.

From the depths came a lanky foreign man, and he raised his arms speaking confusing words that made me sleepy. Luckily, Webby was a translator… or so he said. His Harvard education never seemed to be much of a use, and I teased him about it with the rest of the men.

"Do you speak English?" Webster questioned, lowering his weapon.

He lowered his arm and relaxed. "Ya, a little bit."

Hoobler gestured his gun towards the opening, "What were you doing down there?"

"It's an air raid shelter. My family has been down there ever since the first uh, plane flew over." He motioned to the sky, making sure we knew what a plane was.

"We're Americans, paratroopers actually." I said without thought, and immediately regretted it.

"The Germans, are they gone?" the local asked.

"We think so-" Hoobler was interrupted by Webster. "They don't tell us much…"

"Or feed us much." Hoobler rudely pushed on, stomach growling for a meal. My stomach was in agreement with Don's, but I still wouldn't let his lack of manner's slide.

"Please forgive my friend-"

"Are you a… woman?" The asked, intrigued by my features and long, shaggy hair.

"Yes, sir." I squeaked, tightening my grip on Hoobler's arm.

He nodded as he gave us one last glance, "Wait here."

"See that? I say screw Paris." Van Clinger sniggered down to Hoobler.

"Hey, don't talk about screwin', alright?" Don's cool voice dripped with charisma.

Webster looked around into the darkness, and turned to face them.

"They all speak English, they all love us. What a fantastic country!" Webster annoyingly piped in.

The lanky man curved around the exterior corner, with an armful of canned slop.

"Hey, thank you." I smiled kindly, genuinely thankful for his generosity.

Small, but sparking eye emerged from the glowing cellar. I had seen those sets of eyes before, and they belonged to the child latched onto my leg. The generous man motioned his child out, and he sat on the edge of the cellar without a care for the wall of uniformed men before him.

Alfie curved around my leg to get a better look at the boy, who was his age it seemed.

I felt a small hand dig around in my right pocket as Don and the other guys began downing the fermented cabbage.

"Alfie, where are you going with that-?" My voice was ignored as Alfred confidently left my side.

He easily plopped himself next to the boy who did not speak the same language, though they lived only a canal away.

"Ey, mate. Want some chocolate?" Alfie offered, shoving the thick bar of Army issued sweet cocoa.

The Dutch kid just shrugged, paying little attention to Alfie or the silver wrapping before him. Alfie rather adorably scrunched his little eyebrows together in frustration and began to peel back the metallic wrapping. I sighed contently, leaning against Hoobler as I watched my boy interact.

Don leaned down and whispered in my ear, "You've got a good one there, cowgirl."

I just nodded in agreement, not wanting to disrupt the moment. Alfie politely broke off a chunk of chocolate and placed it in the boy's slightly grubby hand. Then he sunk his parted teeth into his own bit. I secretly worried he would be the spitting imagine of Harry Welsh. Eh, I didn't make the kid.

The little Dutch boys eyes grew wide and glimmered in delight in the soft white moonlight as he tasted the dark candy. I chuckled quietly to myself, feeling proud of my little Alfie. Easy would always be proud of him and his courage, humor and generosity.

B.o.B.

I pressed harder yet with my hands, holding in Brewer's warm blood. It shot through the nooks of my fingers and soaked the heavy cloth I had placed over it. Brewer gawked beneath me, whimpering through the hole in his throat as he squirmed. How was I to keep him calm when I was struggling to keep myself calm?

The men were gone. They had left me here on this deserted road that had collected so much blood. Scattered about the powdery gravel lay empty bullet shells, MRE meals, flowers the men had collected but were forced to drop. In the ambush of Nuenen, they were forced to drop any hope.

I knew what is felt like to lose a man. The feeling of not completing my job; to not rescue a damaged life.

I made the mistake of looking towards the loud snapping of telephone line poles being demolished by a stray tank. An evil ghost drove the flaming vehicle. I squinted my eyes, straining to make out who's figure fled from the tank. Bits of ground flew from the impact of rounds as they bit at the man's heels. The tank rolled through the poles, snapping them like toothpicks behind a nervous man's teeth.

I licking flames inflicted from an enemy shell had dangerously reached the gas tank, and a massive cough of fire spat into the gray sky of France. I watched in horror as hot shrapnel ripped through the shoulder of the man. Blood was silhouetted by the sun as it splashed from his flesh. The tank gained on him as he fell to the ground.

He crawled further down the ditch, looking back to see his fate. Then the sickening truth pelted my stomach and I lurched forward. Now only concentrating on Brewers gurgles and no longer of the threatening bullets within the town, I felt a powerful fear and panic emerge strongly in my chest.

"SPINA!" I shrieked abruptly with such a force that my throat felt raw after the last sound. This was the desperate decision to heal love over rank. I wanted nothing to do with it.

The sight of Bull crawling in the ditch grew blurry as tears filled my eyes. Everything was lost. My dearly beloved Denver was about to be crushed by the skeleton of a tank, and Lieutenant Brewer was quickly retreating beneath my hands.

"Bull…" I desperately sobbed, tearing open another package of sulfur powder. The bleeding refused to end, devouring the sulfur and gushing more. It spat angrily up at my face and I felt the familiar warm liquid dot my face.

"Bull…" I cried again to myself, now unable to see him tear at the earth in desperation. Germans now poured from their tanks, taking aim at Bull. Gone, it seemed. Everything I had was gone.

Ralph came as a blessing. An angel of sorts. Somehow, Speen had heard my cry. With one hand defending his head as he ran from the bullets nipping at his heels, Spina came sprinting down the miserable gravel road.

He fell beside me, "Oh thank God!" I blinked back my tears. My words became a jumble as his shoved my helpless hands away. "Bull, he's over there. And I-"

Spina firmly held my upper hand and gave me a quick, but hard look. "Go after him."

I nodded, scrambling to my feet. I carelessly left my medical shoulder bag at Brewer's shoulder with all my supplies.

"BULL!" I screamed, even louder than before. My chest heaved as my heavy boots pounded the shaking earth behind me.

I panted as I reached the crest of the ditch. I chased the tank and heard the plates click as they menacingly chased him. I leaped over the ditch and dashed along the opposite crest. The flames on it teased me as they lashed out, hungry for my flammable flesh.

I was knocked to my feet by my own fear when it crashed through another wooden pole. This slowed it down momentarily, giving Denver a slight lead. I ran as fast as my shaking legs would allow, now coming up to the combusted nose of the Sherman.

With a loud sound, the right track tipped and fell into the ditch, finally stopping. Bull pressed tightly against the wall of the ditch, watching only the hunk of metal that had chased him for the past ten minutes that felt more like ten years.

I collapsed next to Denver, whose face was sweating profusely and had blood coming from his shoulder. I fumbled helplessly at my side for my companion bag, and instantly grew furious at myself for leaving it behind.

"Jesus Christ, Boone. I thought you were a pretty Kraut. Fucking scared me." He panted, still holding his M1 rifle in his hands.

I balled my hands into fists, "I'm so sorry! Goddamn, you scared me enough- 'bout getting killed!"

His heavy voice dripped with sarcasm, "Yes, because I planned all of this." He took a long sigh, "But shit, I'm damn glad to see you."

Now that the shooting had stopped, it was brought to my attention that the battle had come to a halt. I carefully lifted my head to peek over the horizon of the ditch. Spina was nowhere to be found, and my bag was taken along. All that was left on the miserable road was a ghostly lake of red blood.

I leaned back at his side, trying to keep my heart pace steady, "I wish we were under different circumstances. Jesus, that was close, Bull."

He turned and gave me a hard look, "Don't pretend, Boone. They retreated, didn't they?"

I nodded gravely.

"Shit."

B.o.B.

We crawled from the ditch, carefully winding our way around the lines so we wouldn't be spotted by the Germans. Hours had passed in hiding, and once the roaring sun had slipped behind the horizon for rest, Bull and I had found a place of hiding. A shabby old barn with no animals and no Germans.

Once we were settled in the moldy and dusty straw, I swore profusely at myself for leaving my bag. All that I had to tend to Bull's wound was the knife strapped to my ankle and a few wads of bandages I had shoved in my pocket.

I tore away at his uniform. The familiar blood glistened on my fingers. He opened up the butt of his rifle and began chewing on a cigar nub. He made terrible groans in pain as I fished for the sharp piece of metal from the tank.

"Fuck, just take it out," he begged through his teeth, looking back at me with a sweating face.

I shook my head, "Bull, I have to go get help. I have no supplies." I stood abruptly, determined to find Eugene and the rest of the company.

Bull quickly grabbed my wrist and jerked me back down. He released his rifle and let it rest against the stall wall.

"Loretta, _please _do not leave me here. Stay, please." Bull begged, holding my face with desperation holding his stare, "Stay with me. If I'm going to bleed to death, I want it to be in your arms."

My heart whimpered as I looked into his eyes. They were dull with pain and fear.

I nodded, letting him know that I would _stay_. I pulled out probably the dullest knife in all of the 101st Airborne and positioned myself above his massive back. Its powerful muscles were tense with pain, and I cringed as I lowered the point of his flesh.

The sound of the metal against metal painfully reminded me of when Doc Roe dug the bullet from my shoulder back in Normandy. Those days seemed so distant now.

Bull reached back and tightly grasped my thigh as I dug deeper. He bent back his head, "Fuck."

"I'm sorry," I murmured, trying to keep his pain to a minimum.

Once the tip of the blade slid under the edge of the shrapnel, I was able to pinch it with my fingers. Though I pulled slowly, the metal did not heed as it ripped through raw flesh. I wanted to cry for him as he moaned loudly.

"It's out," I informed, tossing the tank shell bit across the barn floor. I shoved the wads of bandages around the open wound, still scolding myself for being so careless.

Bull turned and faced me. His face had relaxed and his torso now turned with noticeable mobility. The blue twinkle in his eyes was returning, and I sat before him until his breathing returned to an average pace for a mammoth man in pain.

I leaned forward, holding out my finely honed hand for his forehead, "Let me feel your head for a fever. You could have an infection."

I pressed the back of my hand to his brow and both cheeks. His face felt hot, but not burning enough to spark a deep concern. I then tried to lean back to maybe relax, but something was hooked around my waist, preventing me from doing so.

"Bull," I breathed with wonder, feeling his arm grow tense.

He slid his large fingers under the warmth of my green button up. I gasped lightly at the shocking touch, but his sparkling eyes and reassuring touch calmed me down. Like the laces of a football, his fingers fit perfectly between each of my spinal bones. He held them there, inching higher up my back by each groove. For the first time, in a long time, I was completely captivated by somebody's eyes.

"Thank you for staying," he said loosely, not taking his eyes from my person.

His subtle leaning became evident as his scent entered my nose. It was of blood and a taste of sweat, but it was mostly of Bull, the one I hoped to call my own. Denver was even closer know, close enough to touch, but I dared not to dare. Subconsciously my hand slid onto his shoulder and onto the back of his neck. I felt the emerging curls from his hairline and raised my hand slowly to feel his thick hair.

Forgetting to breathe, I sucked in a quick breath of the musty air. Our noses now barely apart, I could feel his labored breath on the skin of my cheek. Before I could comprehend our state, Bull gently crashed his lips into mine. Our noses fit together perfectly. I could taste the smoke that lingered on his lips as I moved mine against his lightly. His face was warm against mine and I felt a blush creep onto my cheeks as he subtly moved his hand to my sensitive side.

Quickly I slid my hand to his beating chest, careful not to touch his wound. I gently pushed him away as he became more passionate. The throaty groan he made begged for more, but I pushed his chest harder. Our lips snapped as he pulled away, and his eyes shimmered brighter than I had ever seen him.

Denver looked down at our hands as they interlocked and licked my lips quickly. He looked up at me once more, a slightly pained grimace lining his facial features.

"I love you, Loretta Roselle. I'm terrible at showing it to you, but do you know how hard it is to handle broken glass?"

I gently shook my head, not understanding what he met at the time.

"I love you." He said once more, his voice almost begging for a reply.

I swallowed, forcing myself to look into his pained eyes. "And I love you, Denver."

He fell back against the rickety barn wall and groaned in pain. I crawled over to his side, resting my hand on his chest, needing to feel his pulse.

"Now that I've told you that, I guess I can die in peace now."

I crossed my legs and leaned against the wall. I took his tense body and pulled it gently so his head could rest in my lap. He looked up at me through a cringe, and I tucked a loose lock of hair behind my ear. A smile crept on my face, and I ran my cool hand over his burning forehead and through his hair.

"You forgot you fell in love with a nurse," I teased.

A pained smile grew on his face, and I bent down to give him a quick kiss for his pain. I did it more to absorb the taste more than the sensation. He grinned crookedly as I sat back up.

"Damn, that's better than morphine, Boone."

I continued to soothingly run my hand over his round head as the moon passed above us. "Good, because I have plenty of kisses and no morphine."

He took my right hand and raised it above his face. Bull began to observe every nook and cranny of my hand with his own touching. He tilted it and playfully tickled my palm. I laughed quietly in the case there were German outside. But I laughed for him, praying it would take the pain from his shoulder. I knew what that felt like, and my every breath coursed sympathy for the man resting in my lap.

"Bull?" I asked, keeping my voice low.

He grunted, "Huh?"

"This is random, but today, with all those men dying- and almost watching you die… I just thought." I sighed, searching for the words, "I thought that perhaps the reason we die, is because if we don't, nobody would fear death. That's what war is all about- who is less afraid of death. It's almost though, that some of us are born to die…as if it was a destiny. The only problem is, we don't know if we are destined or not. And I guess, that's the fearsome part of this goddamn war, Bull."

He bent back his head to look up clearly at me, "Today I thought that maybe I was born to die, as you said. I don't think I cheated death, but that it just wasn't for me yet. But you're right, that is the fearsome part of it. Because I did think I was going to get killed today. And I thought," his deep voice cracked slightly, and he tightened his hold on my hand. "When I was crawling away from that tank, the only thing I could think was 'If I die, I won't ever get a chance to apologize to Loretta.'"

I lifted my hand to his chest and felt his heart pace, "Apologize for what?"

He shook his head, "I don't know why I kept hurting you, when I already knew you were broken enough. I was such an asshole for treated you like I did, Boone."

I gave a crooked half smile, "I'm still here though, Denver. Because I know that just as some are born to die, others are just as likely to be born to love." I pressed my hand deeper into his hair, "And I'm just praying that's us."

**Y'all got some Bull fluff now! You happy? ;)**


	20. Unsung Boundaries

**School is over. Done with. I'm FREE!**

**I was hesitant to publish this- I swear… I had the idea of having a tornado destroy Loretta's house and kill her father weeks ago. And I wrote that part the night before the tornado hit Moore, OK. Which was kind of creepy.**

**Anyway, I'm back and kicking!**

**Edit: I changed this chapter a bit. I forgot Alfie, like completely. I think that's a sign it's been too long since I've updated! :p**

**Unsung Boundaries**

Bull's blue eye shot through the crack of the stall wall. There were humans outside, and I could bet it wasn't Americans. They mumbled and cackled in German and I held my breath long enough for my head to seemingly grow in size. I fell against the wall and listened to their footsteps against the hay scattered outside our barn hideout.

They kicked against the door, following a barking order, easily breaking the rotting wood that bound the two doors shut. I swallowed a gasp, but still Bull clasped his mammoth hand over my swollen lips. I looked up at the moon that snuck through the ceiling and concentrated on my heartbeat. It was fast and pacing; matching the jumbled German language.

They mindlessly roamed the floor of the barn, called out once and left. I breathed a sigh of relief into Bull's hand. But one of the men stayed and relieved himself on the moldy hay floor. He hummed off key as he pulled his fly up.

Bull tightened his grip on my face and a quick worry of suffocation washed through me.

The German young man called out an unstable 'Hallo' multiple times to the hay loft. He shuffled on the straw and I heard him grip onto his rifle. I heard every breath, every beat and every movement.

"HALLO?!" He called shakily.

Bull peered around the corner, his face glistening with nervous sweat. I didn't know what was happening. Bull silently slid on his bayonet. I held onto the back of his uniform, begging him to stay back. The enemy called once more, and Bull sprung from his knees and turned to face me. My eyes dashed from one glassy blue eye to the other. He held the stare for awhile before quickly kissing me. I never thought one of our first kisses would be our last.

His boots slid against the slick straw as he lunged from the stall.

"Bull!" I called, still grasping his uniform. He spun around at the sound of my loud voice, giving away Bull's hiding.

The German soldier yanked and pulled desperately at his bolt, begging his rifle to unjam. Bull's size gave him an advantage. I stood behind Bull, panting as they swung around each other in a circle. The German lost hope on shooting Denver and now swung the butt of his rifle wildly at Bull's head. Fog swirled around their legs, and they grunted and cried as they lunged and swung at each other.

Bull caught the soldier's arm with his bayonet, causing him to double over. He swung at Bull, making sharp contact with his left arm. Bull quickly grabbed it, but recovered and crossed his M1 against the enemy's.

My fingers throbbed as I clenched my hands into fists. They fought and screamed with each blow. But I knew Bull would prevail once the soldier fell to his knees after a vicious hit square in the jaw. The moment the young man's body hit the earth, Bull ferally stabbed him in the abdomen. With one last desperate cry, Bull stood over him and buried his bayonet in the man's face. Blood splattered into Denver's face.

I was trembling with pure shock, watching in horror as the burly man stood barbarically above his victim. He was so ruthless, and I shook with fear at the sight of him. I shut my eyes and huddled into the corner of the stall, hearing Bull yank the blade from the enemy's terrorized expression.

"Boone," he called softly, panting and sweating adrenaline.

I hid my face away from the beast that moments before had been so tender and yearning.

"Boone, listen-" he said again, kneeling beside me. He slid his good arm around my waist and pulled me from the weathered planks of the stall. He pressed my head against his chest, and I held onto his collarbone warm with sweat. My ear pressed against his sternum, I heard clearly the pounding and wild beat of his heart.

Bull nervously stroked my head, surely not comprehending what had just happened. But he held me strongly and I was no longer scared. The images of their bodies fighting against eachother flashed through my shut eyes. I saw his silhouette clearly against the evening full moon.

I lay there huddled against him, waiting for his breathing to relax with his heart. He and I drifted into an uneasy sleep until the morning sun shone through the barn walls.

B.o.B.

The sky was clear, the birds were singing morning praises, and the atmosphere was calm. I scoffed to myself. It was almost like a war wasn't going on. We walked silently together, and Bull held firmly to his M1 with one hand, but the other calloused dish hung loosely at his side. With the wrinkles pressed into his face, I knew the pain was shooting from his shoulder down the length of his arm.

He reached for my hand, but I regrettably pulled away. I wasn't ready for the feeling of a human. He looked back cautiously, but returned to leading me. The grimace on his face wasn't one I could just iron out with love, so I didn't want to take the risk of trying. If you've ever been told pain passes, you've been lied to.

Bull's heavy pace slowed and his footsteps were light. I looked up to his mass of blonde curls, but was not met with his face. You know how you can tell a person is smiling from behind, because their cheeks kind of bulge out? Well, Denver's face was the exact opposite. His expression slid and his lowered his rifle. Instantly I reached for my bag, thinking he saw a wounded man. But the man I saw once I got closer, was more than wounded. He was gone.

I bit my lip, trying to remember where I had seen this young trooper before. And then I remembered as Bull kneeled down and fingered his tags. I placed his displaced face from night ago at the bar. He was the kid that Bill, Martin and Cobb were messing with. Miller was the poor boy's name. He was so young, it made me think of Alfie.

"He was in my squad." Bull solemnly said, yanking the tags from Miller's neck. He dropped them in his chest pocket, took one more glance and walked on. "Goddamn it." I couldn't understand how he could be so ruthless 10 hours before, and so sentimental now.

I reached for his hand, but quickly yanked it back to my side when I heard the sound of a vehicle. Denver stood his ground, acting immortal, but I instantly dropped to my knees.

It turned the corner and the gunner aimed his machine gun at Bull. Calmly Denver raised his rifle and walked towards our rescue.

B.o.B.

"You and cowgirl get a little lost?" Martin teased as he shook his best friends hand.

I heard Bull's sly grin cut through the men's rejoicing, "Something like that."

I looked back to see a smile from Johnny and Bull, and for a moment I was just happy I was a part of that man's life. Whether it was just a chapter, or if he was just a chapter in mine, I would have been pleased to be a sentence or even a word in his life.

"I don't know whether to slap ya, kiss ya or salute ya," Guarnere said through his infamous crooked smile. "I told these scallywags you was alright. I mean, you had cowgirl with ya!"

I hid my flushing face as the men slapped my back. "But these salty bastards went on a suicide mission to drag your ass back." Bill continued.

"I'sat right?"

Bill smiled, "Yea, I told 'em don't bother."

"Never did like this company none." Bull said plainly with a splash of sarcasm. The men laughed in their throats and continued shaking hands. We all felt 'safe' within each other's company. Or, as safe as you can feel in the midst of a war.

Hoobler smiled timidly at the ground before opening his arms up for a hug. I embraced his neck and winced as the healing skin tugged at my back. Something had caught my skin, but the warm smell of only Donald distracted my pain and I just concentrated on being with him.

"I better let go," Hoobler whispered as the men scattered. "Bull might be territorial over his lady luck."

I patted his back, not sure what to say, but I didn't want to deny it, "Yea, he might be."

Don gave a nod and turned to leave me. I quickly snatched his sleeve, an emptiness in my heart. "Don," I said slowly, trying to catch my breath. My heart was rolling down a mountain with worry.

"Hmm?"

"Where is Alfred?" I panted, exaggerating every word.

Don saw the worry plastered on my face. My head spun and I spread out my feet to hold my balance. He grasped my shoulders and held me up. "I think he's with Eugene, Lottie."

I shoved him away and venomously yelled at him, "What the fuck do you _mean you think_?!" I ran through the swarm of exhausted men, pushing and shoving them away. "Where is Alfred?!" I yelled. Some of them gave me puzzled looks. Had they forgotten him? Was Alfie a figment of my imagination? No, he was a real as day and night.

I sprinted up the hill incline, my aching knees protesting with pain. But I marched on, my head spinning to keep up with my dizzy eyes. I needed to find Eugene, _now_.

I saw Gene's jet black hair busily moving around Bull. Denver seemed like he wanted to swat the Cajun away, but we all knew Doc was more persistent than even me. Eugene quickly ran to Denver's side and demanded he take a look at the wound.

"Don't worry, Boone took care of it, Doc." I overheard Denver say proudly.

"Who?" Gene questioned, impatiently waiting for Bull to remove his button up.

"Loretta." He said quickly, removing the filthy shirt from his bloodied shoulder.

I grabbed Bull's upper arm and waited until he saw my worried expression.

"Denver, where is Alfie? I haven't seen him yet. Is he okay?! Have you seen him?"

Eugene looked me up and down. I was trembling. It wasn't until now that I knew how much Alfie meant to me. I _felt_ how maternal I was towards him.

Gene had creased pressed into his face too. My heart slid into my boots and I forgot to breathe. "Brave-"

Warm tears poured down my cheeks. I screamed and clutched onto Bull's side. I thought he was dead, gone. A memory before I was able to make memories in the young boy's life. "Where is he?!" I screamed once more, wailing.

"He's in the jeep with Winters and Nixon- relax, Brave! It's alright!" Gene took a step forward, but once he saw Bull hold me tighter, he back up.

"I-I want to go see him," I croaked, embarrassed that I had cried in front of the entire company. I was supposed to be tougher than this, goddamn it.

Eugene pointed West to a jeep with contrasting fiery and jet black hair. I saw Alfie's sandy blonde mop squeezed in the back seat between Dick and Lew. Wiping the drying tears from my sleeve, I never took my eyes off of my boy.

"Alfred," I called out to him. His blue eyes jumped from the jeep steering wheel to me, and I had never been happier to see those blue lakes. "C'mere," I ordered, struggling to dam back my tears.

Lewis lifted him over the door of the jeep, and Alfie his the ground running. He collided with my leg and I held his hair in my hands. A strength washed over me and I lifted him onto my hip.

"I thought you died and left me," he croaked with an accent, his icy eyes growing watery.

I smoothed his hair, "I would never do that, Alfie. I'm sorry I left you. But I'm hear now and we're both alright, right?"I mustered a smile in his direction, and wiped his eyes with my hands. They were still stained crimson.

"We're moving out! Load up, boys! C'mon, move it, move it!" Lipton bellowed with his hand cupped over his mouth. I held Alfie's hand tightly, like I always would as long as I could.

"Randleman, come wid me," Eugene ordered. Bull grabbed my empty hand and quickly pecked my lips. I loved the feeling of standing there almost like a well built family. Eugene, with furrowed brows of concern, pulled Denver away.

I gave Alfie's hand a squeeze and I slowed my uneasy footsteps so he could keep up with me. We made our way together to the emptiest appearing truck. I scooted Alfred's little behind onto the seat, and looked back once more before climbing in myself. Bull was slumped over on the edge of a moving truck. His face was line with pain and sorrow as Eugene cleaned up my messy work.

Moore shuffled towards me, and I looked on gravely. If that man held a letter in his hands, I knew it meant bad news. Was there any good news these days? Towns turned to rubble, families gone in masses, blood shed faster than I could hold it in. And though I was back with my company, it was too much. For a moments time in that barn, I actually hoped Bull and I would die. When we fought that German, I secretly hoped we would die. At least it would be together. But I guess a bull never falls, especially with his girl at his side. And even if we did fall, the boundaries would fall, and we would fall together.

"I'm glad to see you and Randleman made it back alright, miss. A letter came for you weeks ago, but with all the action, I didn't have a chance to deliver it."

I nodded silently and took the letter from his hands.

Then I climbed into the truck and situated myself in the furthest corner, away from everybody but Alfie, so I could read the letter in peace. He was drowsy and exhausted, and I felt guilty knowing he had most likely lost sleep over my disappearance. I had hoped the men cared for the boy while I was gone.

With lightly shaking hands, I slipped the seam away from the envelope with John's writing. The dried blood flaked off my fingers and onto the paper and I chose to ignore it for once. Once I unfolded it, his words met my eyes, whether I liked it or not.

_Dear Loretta Lou Roselle,_

_I haven't heard from you in ages, and the days wear on as I worry. I kept my promise, though you have not held yours up. A lot has happened while you have been gone. I have been watching your father- from a distance. He was a raging alcoholic, as we all knew too well. A tornado tore through the state of Oklahoma, and I'm sorry to say, there are no remains from your house or your father. He is gone; blown away. The twister damaged my place and took Husker with it as well._

_Your father's body could not be found, so there wasn't a service for him. But who would have come? Why does everything have to be a distant collection of memories? Ever since you left, everything is washed together like a watercolor painting. There aren't straight, distinct lines- not even resemblance for guidance. I still place flowers on Billy's and your Ma's grave every Sunday morning. I've kept up my deal of this damn war._

_But I am fine, other than my leg is causing me more pain than ever. Though I don't like them, the pain became so much I had to pay a visit to a doctor (and I really mean pay). They said what little muscle I have left is useless. I guess I'll never be normal. I wish you would write me, as I am about to give up hope. I barely have enough to pay for postage. Food is scarce, as the wind destroyed all planted crops. I'm lonely, Loretta. Please come home to me soon… you're all this homely boy has left._

_Yours,_

_John_

I folded up the scribbled sheet of paper. His words were so scarce and plain. Though his correspondence was limited, my heart pinged with desperation, and for the first time in my life I wanted to go _home_. I had wished death upon the retched old man I once called my father, but now with the tragedy, my heart ached to see him once more.

I was alone, and none of the boys could see me. They all talked quietly, or tried to stomach some Army issued food. I let the tears roll as the tires ground against the fine gravel. The smoke billowed from the town behind us as we rolled away. Eugene tended to Denver's gaping wound, and as I pressed my head against the rumbling truck body, I let the tears run down my cheeks, again. The breeze couldn't dry them fast enough and they collided with my collar. I let all the beginning horrors of this war flood my emotions and I felt miserable.

I watched Alfie's chest peacefully rise and fall in his slumber.

I wanted nothing more than a shower, and a long one. Bull's blood was caked on my hands and arms, splattered on my pants. Brewer's cold blood had dried on my wrists and soaked my cuffs. Enemy blood held onto the fibers of my drowning uniform. I was a melting pot of war, and I would never grow accustomed to that feeling.

Before I let the exhaustion caused by an overdose of adrenaline take me over, I ripped the haunting letter in half and carelessly tossed the awful news blow away.

**I'm trying to really get into Loretta's head, and I'm worried it's too dramatic. Thoughts?**

**Thank you so much for waiting for this update!**


	21. Stitches

**I'm just going to let you know that Lottie and Doc Roe will never have anything outside of a friendly relationship. Sorry, guys. :/ I will try to have them talk more though! :) **

**Thank you to **_ToxicSoap04, ChocAndSnow19, autumnescspade, AwesomeBlond89_ **and **_Camilla _**for the lovely reviews! It means so much.**

**Stitches**

The last late summer months had rolled on. Now it was October and from France, we had returned to Holland once more. The war effort was still strong. Either side wavering from having the upper hand. There were always men to tend to, always a tear to shed and always something to do. The other men complain of their boredom, and all I could tell them was to go play with Alfie. Some of the gentler men wadded up an old pair of socks with holes in the toes and played a makeshift game of catch with my 'son'. They would never understand how much that meant to me. The other rowdier ones, say, Liebgott and Joy Toye, had the best of times handing him a rifle and letting him have at it.

Gene still watched my every move, not letting up even after Bull and I's relationship developed. I don't think he liked Denver. Not out of jealously, but I saw that sideways look he gave Bull every time he ventured into the aid station. Eugene would always be my protector.

"Holland's nice," I said quietly, running a damp cloth over my scissors for the hundredth time.

Eugene had his boots propped up on an empty K-9 rations box. He was casually drifting off, his jet black hair pushed into the canvas wall of the aid station. "I suppose."

"Lots of pretty nurses here, don't you think?" I smirked, rumbling through my leather bag for something else to clean. Okay, I'll admit. I was bored.

Gene's eyes fluttered shut in amusement, "You shouldn't talk to highly of yourself, Brave. Rather egotistical, don yo dink?" I would still secretly admire his Cajun accent.

I snorted. "I wasn't talking about myself, Gene, dammit. There are nurses everywhere, and they're all friendly. What man in his right mind would ignore that?"

He slapped his thighs and sat upright, his thick words dripping in mystery, "I'm not in my right mind, so I guess that explains it."

Eugene looked tired. Dark circles loomed under his eyes. They were even worse when I kept him up back in Toccoa. That seemed so distant now.

The conversation had dropped, and I just let it. I continued to clean and organize. Liberated Holland supplied us nicely for the weeks we were here. The winter was already warning the war, and the nights already called for extra layers. I kept all gauzes of different sizes tucked in one corner, my scissors and knife in proper pockets and morphine and other injections in their correct place. The bottom of the bag that Spina and Gene had gifted to me always gathered dirt and flakes of stranger's blood.

But when I scraped the bottom this bout of cleaning, I felt a crinkle with a hint of moisture. Gently I pulled it from my bag, only to find it was the preserved orange tulip Bull had handed me when we helped liberate this country.

"Gene, look what I found," I said softly, holding it up with both hands.

He hinted the smallest of smiles, "Eindhoven?"

"Sure enough," I replied, setting it down gently as to ensure no petals would fall. I rummaged for my downsized medical book. My trusty handbook was always there to remind me of the hundred ways to secure a bandage, to dress any wound and to pull out shrapnel. Of course, I wasn't lucky enough to have it when my lover has a chunk of tank in his shoulder.

Opening the book to roughly halfway, I slid the crisp flower into the book pages and closed it. I wanted the pressed tulip to be around when I was an aged like wine lady.

Gene walked heavily past me and he slapped my back, "Brave, we're moving out tomorrow. The men will be right on da line. Prepare for some bad shit."

With that he lifted the tent flap and scratched his jet black hair into the yellow autumn sun. I watched him somberly, worried at how exhausted he was. He was run down and low, more tired than anybody. Here he was always worried about me, and I couldn't stop worrying about him.

"Aye, Eugene!" I my Alfie speak fondly of what was the closest thing to an uncle. Maybe I was overreacting, but with these men, Alfie seemed so much 'bigger' than when Don found him.

Bull's massive frame was silhouetted dramatically next to Alfred's small body. Everybody always gave the best food in their kits to him, so he was finally getting some meat on his bones. He still looked much to scrawny for my liking.

"Hey, babes," I stood, holding one arm high for Bull and the other low for Alfie.

"Hey, Boone," Bull grumbled low enough for just me to hear. I squeezed Alfie's shoulders while my lips met quickly with Bull's. All three of us fit together so well.

"Alf and I just got done quail hunting!" Bull said proudly, ruffling the small boy's sandy hair.

I held my hand on Denver's chest, "You didn't."

"We did, but no luck," Alfie said with a hint of disappointment.

I planted my fist on my hip, "Well, good, because I'm pretty sure that's illegal guys…"

Bull just cheekily grinned, his cigar wedged back in his teeth. His icy blue eyes told me he needed to have a conversation, and I felt it too. Alfie fiddled with the handles of my bag, still holding securely on to Bull's hand.

Looking for a solution, I found Spina latching the ends of a bandage on a soldier's leg. As he finished, I called him over as quietly as possible.

He came over, his knit cap hanging lopsided on his head.

"Speen, do you think you could take Alfie here on a walk or something? It would be good for you to get out." I held a sense of urgency in my voice.

He nodded after a moment, understanding what I meant. He gave a nod to Bull and then took Alfie's fingers from my bag. "Alfred! How does a walk through town sound? I'll buy ya a root beer if you're good."

Alfie excitedly agreed and latched onto Spina's side. I made a note to thank Ralph later. The moment they slipped through the tent flap and into the setting sunlight, I dropped my head into Bull's chest.

He held the small of my back securely, waiting for me to spill.

"I shouldn't have brought him, Denver. It's so dangerous and I was so stupid." I sighed shakily, guilt washing through me. "I'm so stupid and inconsiderate. We're moving out tomorrow and we'll be on the line. If he gets hurt, Jesus Christ, I won't be able to live with myself."

Bull's breathing moved my head and he took his hand to my growing hair. "Boone, you're not stupid. You're the most considerate woman I know. Did you want him to go back to the orphanage? What you've done is surrounded him with a strong herd. We'll take care of him, okay?"

I nodded, calmed by his words, my eyelashes flickering against his uniform. He continued, "Winters knows that, too. Else he wouldn't have allowed it. Babe, he'll be fine."

"I still don't understand how I could be so _stupid_. I shouldn't have-" Denver's lips met mine and cut my bickering short.

"Shhh…" Denver cooed, bending down so his forehead rest against mine. His temple beat with mine. I ran my hands along his chest and sighed heavily. The familiar taste of an aid station entered my mouth. It was all too real.

"Love you," I mumbled, surely not sounding attractive.

He placed his lips on the crown of my head, "And I you."

We separated, and as I held his hand, I felt like I needed nothing more than this. It _was _going to be okay, as long as I held my company close and steadied my head.

B.o.B.

"'Tornado back home in Oklahoma, guys. Killed my father…destroyed my house."

Winters turned, tearing a strip of black tape from an issued roll. They were going out tonight and the men sat around, making it so nothing would shine in the moonlight. "I'm sorry to hear that, Roselle."

Nearly a year with this man and he still called me Roselle. I shook my head and threw a handful of moldy hay. We were always hiding out in barns, it seemed to me. "He was an asshole… I'm glad he's gone."

Talbert sat beside me and called over the German Sheppard he had found. "Aw, c'mon. You don't mean that. He's your father, Lottie."

"He was also a raging alcoholic who beat me mercilessly hours on end," I spat lowly, grabbing a handful of fur from the dog's neck. The room grew deathly silent, and I held him lip from quivering. I tried to lighten the tense mood I had created, "So, Tab, what's the mut's name?"

"Trigger."

Luz spoke through a cracker he had just popped into his mouth, "That's good, I like that. Yea, Trigger."

I nodded in agreement, running my fingers through Trigger's thick coat. I had a bad gut feeling about half of the men being out that night. Inconsistent rounds popped off in the distance. It was like clockwork and I didn't even jump anymore.

Alfie was sound asleep in a hay cart. Straw provided a warm bed for the child, and the Easy company men took shifts watching over him in his slumber. They knew I was tired even though I tried not to let on. My eyelids grew heavy and for once I wanted to catch some rest. My head rest against the barn wall, reminding me too much of Nuenen. I sighed heavily and Floyd placed his hand above my knee and gave me a reassuring squeeze. I smiled, blowing a puff of air through my nose. Nobody would ever know what happened that night in the barn. Nobody still knew about Bull and I's feelings toward each other.

"WE'VE GOT PENETRATION!" The barn doors where loudly kicked open, and I shot up from my relax position.

"Alley's hurt we need help!" Liebgott's normally cool voice yelled. "Loretta! Get over here!"

I dashed over to the work bench placed in the center of the barn floor. My full medical bag was in my hand and my hair was tied back, "Get him on the table! I need some light! Move, move! Somebody get Doc Roe!" I barked out orders as I rolled up my sleeves. James Alley was covered in blood but it did not look like deep wounds.

I cupped his face in my hands. He looked up at me, face white as a sheet in shock, "What happened, Lottie? Something happened."  
"You're gonna be fine, James. Roe and I will clean you up and you'll be up and running."

He just nodded and began drifting off. I began unbuttoning his olive drag shirt, revealing all the wounds from an enemy potato masher.

Men were crowded around the table, so excited and other worried. Liebgott and Lesniewski, who was not a Toccoa man began bickering. It seemed like an entire eternity for Eugene to come.

"Where did it happen?" Winters questioned to nobody in particular, leaning over to gaze at his trooper's bloody chest.

"Crossroads," Liebgott mumbled, folding up sheets of gauze. "Where the road crosses the Dike."

"If it wasn't for your loud mouth they would have never known we were sitting there," Lesniewski argued.

Joe pressed the gauze to his bleeding neck, "Hey, you know what? Back off."

"Lesniewski, go get a runner for Lieutenant Welsh," Winters ordered, breaking up the cat fight. "Lipton, assemble me a squad."

"FIRST SQUAD ON YOUR FEET! Weapons and ammo, nothing else! Let's move, let's move!"

The constant sounds and lingering voice made my mind go blank and I just stood there holding Alley's hand while I waited for Gene to come.

He came running down the ladder leading to the hay loft of the enormous barn. He immediately began barking orders, pulling his helmet from his jet black hair.

"Brave, get the boot off that evicted leg," Eugene ordered. "C'mon, we gotta move. Not too much." He took Alley's chin and looked into his shocked eyes. James' dark eyelashes curled upward as he looked dazed into the ceiling.

My fingers fumbled with the endless strings of his combat boots. I slid Eugene's helmet under his leg to give it coverage, and then my own under his foot.

"Loretta, you take his torso and I'll do his leg. Alright?"

I nodded shortly, grabbing my back and returning to his side. "Hey, Alley. It's Loretta. You hang tough and I'll fix you up. Just hang tough." I slid my fingers into his palm and gave his shaking hand a squeeze. I pulled a large packet of sulfur powder from my bag and began shaking it onto the larger wounds that gushed blood. With every struggling breath, more blood poured out.

"Lottie! Lottie!" Alfred's small, scared voice cam e running up behind me. "What's happening?!"

"Alfie, go back where you were. I need to take care of our friend Alley." I tried to keep the anger in my voice to a minimum. Obeying, Alfie ran back to the hay cart. I felt his small, watery blue eyes on me as I worked on Alley.

"Morphine, Doc? Does he need it?"

Gene didn't take his eyes from the precise line he was cutting in Alley's bloodied pants. "It's not that bad, he shouldn't need it."

I rolled my eyes, knowing full and well that only Alley himself knew how much pain he was feeling. "James, do you want some morphine?"

"I'm okay. Save it," he croaked, his expression falling.

Red blood dripped down his sides to forever stain the worn wooden table. Strings of white gauze pulled from my bag made a pile at his side. I took my canteen from my belt and splashed it gently along the largest shrapnel wound. Luckily, since he had been hit by a potato masher, we didn't have to worry about retrieving deep bullets. Bits of metal were revealed once I washed away the majority of the dried blood.

With my bare hands I yanked the larger pieces from his flesh, earning loud screams and cries from Alley. With tweezers I removed the smaller, sharper bits that weren't as deep. "Just splinters, right James?" I tried to get him to calm down. Faintly, one corner of his dirty lips curved.

With all shrapnel removed, I glanced over at Eugene who was already in the process of dressing Alley's leg. His flesh twitched under my working hands, and I cringed for his pain. Gaining speed, I wiped clean the smaller gashes and placed thick gauze on the wound. I then lifted up his torso so I could wind the bandage around his waist. With only the largest wound left, I pulled out the fishing hook like needle from my bag.

The adhesive fresh blood on my fingers made it nearly impossible to thread the needle, along with my shaking. To make matters worse, with all the blood pooled around, it was difficult to see where I was sticking his skin.

As gently as possible, I pinched together his gaping skin and sewed the raw skin together. Eugene was now completely finished dressing the leg, so now he was stationed at Alley's head, soothing his screams of agony. But James could not keep quiet as I looped the thread and pulled it tight into the first knot.

"Morphine," I ordered, not being able to stand the desperation in Alley's screams. Eugene unfolded the box of magic.

"This will hurt, Alley," Gene warned, holding the syrette above his thigh.

"Least…of…my…worries," Alley mustered with forced sarcasm.

With a small smirk, Gene jabbed the thick needle into his leg. Immediately his breathing returned to normal and his eyes finally closed without wincing.

I continued my work and sewed up the massive wound. Through, loop, pull, clip. Through, loop, pull, clip. Through, loop, pull, clip. I followed this pattern twenty times until the largest of the shrapnel wounds was sewn up.

Then I wiped up the remaining blood that still bubbled from the knots and placed a thick patch of gauze on his left abdomen. Eugene held up his shoulders now as I wrapped five layers of bandage around the span of his torso. Alley lay there motionless, the tight bandages almost squeaking with every small and short breath.

I wiped my hands on my pants and the sweat on my brow with the back of my sleeve.

"He should rest now." Eugene held his hands on my shoulders. "Good job, Brave. You handle yourself well."

I nodded without looking back at him. The men had flooded out of there like a storm, so now it was just Gene, Alley, Alfie and I in the barn. Exhaustion washed over me, and I plopped myself down on the same pile of hay Talbert and I had been resting on moments earlier.

Worry thumped in my chest, knowing that the rest of the company was out on the line without Eugene and I. I assumed that Spina was taken along, but I did not see him file out behind Lipton.

"Gene…something is wrong."

He lifted a thin, black eyebrow in concern, "What is it?"

"I-I," I mumbled, already feeling my face flush. "I haven't had my cycle for nearly a year now."

He leaned back, as almost to get a better look at me, "Have you and Bull been active? That's the simple answer…"

I shook my head, "Can we step outside, please?"

Eugene nodded sympathetically, and helped pull me to my feet. I wasn't one to pour out my emotions and worries, but as a nurse, I knew something was wrong inside of me.

We slipped directly outside of the lowly lit barn, shutting the door behind us quietly as to keep Alfie and Alley in their exhausted slumber. The stars were intense in the European night atmosphere, and the chilled autumn air returned my cheeks to a normal temperature.

"Bull and I haven't even come close to that, so I know that isn't it. Even if it was, I would know. Hell, the whole company would know if I was with child."

Gene's lips curved slightly, still concern lining his face. It was comforting to be certain of his compassion. His dark eyes urged me to explain more of what I thought was happening.

I scuffed my boot along the dry earth beneath us, "There is only one thing I can even remotely think of." I felt a warning rock form in the pit of my throat and I blinked back mist. "My father used to abuse me… in his drunken raves-" my quiet voice cracked. It pained me to even think of what he would do to me, with no mercy and only the intention of pain. Eugene slid his hand over mine and gave it a squeeze. He looked me squarely in the eyes, asking me to go on.

"Fortunately, he wasn't low enough to sexually abuse me. But he inflicted awful things upon me after my brother and mother died in that car crash." I sighed, steadying my voice once I felt the warmth building between our hands. "He would just beat me mercilessly, using everything in sight. Booze bottles slammed against my head and I was thrown against stairs and walls. Once I was on the ground, he would kick me until the fresh bruises would split and bleed. I didn't used to look like this, Gene. I was actually a pretty girl with a nice, soft face. All these scars, all these scratches are all from father. It's a wonder how Bull can see anything in me."

"All of the men still see plenty in you, Brave."

I knew he was just pitying this homely body of mine, but still I vented. I needed to find out what was going on inside me. "But my dear friend, Johnny, would take me to the family physician when my ribs would break or any other bone. He took care of me as best he could, but he had to sneak me away when father was passed out. Otherwise, dad would shoot at him, worried the doctors would discover the abuse. But they were stupid, and though I came time and time again, they never connected the dots. So I would go back, and the bones would just break under the cast once again. When I was 17, an age when girls should be having fun and courting, I was hiding in my room cowering in fear."

I just kept talking, telling Eugene my pitiful story. My eyes were now dry, seeing as I was now filled with anger more than anything. I squeezed his hand tighter and I felt the urge to punch the barn wall and kick the broken crates around us.

"I'm so glad that sorry sack of shit is dead and gone. May he rot in hell forever and be beat by the devil himself," I raised my voice and Eugene grabbed my other hand which was now balled into a fist. It was raised and ready to strike, and I hadn't even realized it.

My best friend's dark, round eyes were now wet with the beginning of tears. "Loretta… I-I think… I think your father has made your body unable to reproduce. You're infertile. The abuse and constant impact against your body has made you infertile…"

My eyes dashed from one of his eyes to the other. I didn't want to believe his Cajun dripping words, so I just looked. I looked over his shoulder, I looked at the moonlit horizon, I looked at the ground and I concentrated on breathing.

"I had dreams," I croaked, finally collapsing into Eugene's chest.

_Bull. I had dreams with Bull. _

"Now I completely understand why The Keeper gave you that name in my dream. Brave… it's a word that fits nobody better than you." Gene breathed into my hair, and I swore I heard his voice crack in a struggle to hold back tears.

I dug my fingers into the back of his uniform, and the blood caked to my fingers cracked. I didn't cry, I didn't scream. I simply concentrated on filling my lungs with air and pushing it back out into the crisp air. He held me there securely for minutes and I had never felt safer in my life.

"I need to go see Alfie…" I said strongly, giving Gene's hand a squeeze. "Thank you."

I turned towards the barn doors, but before I slipped quietly in I heard Eugene walk away. His boots crinkled through the dead brown leaves, but they could not mask the small coughs and sobs Gene made.

The light in the barn was small, and I had to adjust from the light of the moon on Gene's pale face. Alley was still laying nearly unconsciously on the work bench saturated in blood. I strained my ears to listen for the small breathing of the only child I now would ever have.

I climbed up the ladder made of planks up to the rounded bed of hay on the hay cart. There my angel was sleeping peacefully, his hand folded contently on his chest. His sandy blonde hair was in desperate need of a wash and combing. Quietly, I crawled through the sweet smelling and lay at his side.

Resting on one elbow I watched him stir for a small moment. He then returned to a slumber and I couldn't help but watch in awe, more thankful he was in my life now than ever. All regret of taking him along had disappeared, now knowing I would truly be lost without him.

I smiled as I brushed his hair from his forehead and tucked the long scruffy locks behind his small, bear-like ear. The blood on my hands left crimson flakes on his fair skin, but I dusted them away. I was just content to feel his warm skin beneath my fingers.

I fell deeper into the hay and closed my own tired eyes for a rest. Rounds still rhythmically popped outside, but I didn't mind. This was my life, the life I was living. And I was going to live it how it was thrown at me. And the unpleasant parts did not matter because I had a band of brothers always behind me, and this beautiful child at my side.

**I'm cruel. Poor Loretta…**


	22. Just Might Be Paranoid

**Sorry for delayed update…**

**Seriously, if you guys have **_**any **_**ideas, no matter what it is, please let me know!**

**Just Might Be Paranoid**

Pain. Gasping. Panting. Blood…my own blood. Screaming from both ends. I was in labor. I was giving birth to my own child in a well built hospital with an American flag pinned to the bleached walls. I was back home in the US of A.

I was defying the boundaries my father had set in stone.

Pain wracked my body. It was an unfamiliar pain that washed in with the unclear vision my eyesight offered. Doctors in white coats hovered over me, wiping sweat from their brows. They're hands were wet, but not of blood. They're working area was so much cleaner than mine when I was a nurse.

What was I doing here? My men were on the line. I had soldiers to care for.

"Push once more, miss! The baby is almost out!" A small nurse shorter than Alfie called to me, sweat pouring down her flush face.

_This is too easy. Childbirth is more painful than this. _

But I pushed forward and I felt breath against my face. Eyes watched my in awe at the beautiful giving of life. In the crowded room full of doctors, I felt isolated and lonely. It felt as opaque as the white walls boxing me in.

A wild, shrill shriek was expected in the final passing. But it was more of a splutter and cough in the distance that only slipped further away. A door opened to my right, and I vaguely saw my Bull's heavy frame sweep in.

"Congratulations, Mr. and Mrs. Randleman, you've got yourself a son." The voice was familiar and I had heard it through the harsh days and cold nights of the war. It was dripping in an accent and it was home for my heart.

Another weak cough was spit out, ricocheting off of the hospital walls. They would haunt me forever.

"Oh, Boone. A son… my very own son," Bull's fierce voice was now low and calm. He was proud of what I had given him. I smiled, holding my stomach. I smiled up at my husband whose smile was brighter than all the stars in the glittering night sky.

"Let me see him…" I felt my throat croak

Bull shuffled over, never tearing his eyes from the sight of his newborn child. The one true thing I was capable of giving to him. He laid the small, bare child in my arms and I tucked the swaddling cloth around his body.

I tried to swipe away the blonde curls that already sat on his head… but he was cold and motionless.

"Doctor? Why isn't he moving? He's not making a sound. Doctor?"

My dark-haired friend walked over slower than time in reverse. He didn't care as I violently rocked my baby in my arms. The screams weren't there; they never would be.

"The baby is dead." He said plainly, pulling his fingers from my baby's soft, still chest.

Bull fell to his knees onto the bare, unclear floor.

"I hate you Loretta! You are good for nothing!" He banged his fists against the ground. "You can't even give me a child? What are you worth? I wish you would have died in the war, you worthless woman!"

"No! NO!" I screamed as he tore through the doors- our dead newborn in my arms. He did not coo, or squirm. His nameless hands were already growing cold. "No, no, no, NO! Stop this, stop it right now! Denver!"

The doctors dispersed into the walls as they grew closer. The walls became trees and my snow white hospital gown became scraps of my uniform. The bed beneath me was the hard earth. Bull's furious and hateful words pounded through my brain as I held our infant in my arms….

"Brave. Brave, wake up." Gene had his mouth up to my ear.

He pulled at the uniform that hung on my body and rocked my back and forth. I tried to rock the passed newborn in my arms faster. The rule defying child could not be gone.

"Loretta, you must wake up. The men have advanced. There's a jeep outside waiting to take us to the line." Eugene's accent ordered gently. Eugene was never a hardhearted man. "Why were you screaming? You had Alfie terrified!"

Tears stained my dirty face that had not seen soap in a month. And I knew for certain it was a dream now… Bull would never marry such a pathetic waste as I was now.

"You killed my child! You wouldn't help! You let him die, you son of a bitch! I hate you!" I swung my small, balled fists into Eugene's chest and jaw.

"Loretta, stop! What are you saying? Stop!"

"Where is Alfred? Where is my boy? WHERE IS MY CHILD?"

Gene strongly held my shoulders, "Brave, he's in the jeep waiting. You're alright and he's alright. Breathe…"

I collapsed into my own lap and panted heavily. Bull's vicious words still screamed like burning lightening in my mind and heart. What if he really felt that way? I still felt the lifeless child in my arms. The feelings refused to leave me.

"I-I had a nightmare."

Gene's dark eyes were filled with worry, and he held my upper arm, "Do you want to talk about it? What happened, Brave?"

I sucked in a breath of the early afternoon air, "Bull stopped loving me after he found out I couldn't have children and he wished I would have been killed in the war."

"Bull would never say things like that to you, Brave. The man thinks the world of you, alright?" I nodded slowly with Gene, "Why did you say I killed you child."

My chest bound and my breath was short. The feelings the nightmare uprooting still burned, "I had a miscarriage. It was awful." I felt tears warn at my eyes, but I could not shed a tear in front of Alfie. "We're moving out?"

"Yea, onto the line."

"Alfie won't be safe on the line…"

Eugene rather roughly took my hand and yanked me upward, "That's a risk you took. Love comes with risks, and you have to understand that, Brave."

Eugene was absolutely right, and I thought about his words almost as much as the venom laced words of Bull. I needed to sit down alone with Denver and discuss what I had discovered. But I was scared and I couldn't bring myself to do it.

Bull was still in the Aid Station, fighting an infection that had festered in his shoulder. When Gene briefly mentioned it, I couldn't help but feel responsible. I figured, him being as stubborn as he was, he would go AWOL and be back with Easy in no time. But still I worried about him, sitting in bleached sheets alone, staring blankly at the white hospital walls. The imagine was so crystal clear in my mind.

Perhaps I thought as Gene and I loaded into the jeep, it was for the better he was temporarily gone. The nightmare was still burned into my eyes so the feelings and sights would never leave my mind. Bull's devastated face, the blank expression of the child, the emotionless words of Eugene.

So we drove on for a long while, or so it seemed. The tires of the olive jeep kicked up clouds of dust behind us. Gene sat in the passenger seat while Alfie sat pressed up against me in the leather back seat. The driver and Gene spoke short, rare words of what they though the outcome of the war would be. The American and allied forces currently had the upper hand.

"Easy wiped out that gully of Krauts, _bam _just like that. The best part is the fucking Jerry's bombed their own men! Mowed them down! Shit, it was quite the fight I hear. Only 22 wounded, and another killed last night. Dukeman I heard his name is, and a translator caught some shrapnel. We were lucky."

_Shit. Dukeman was a Toccoa man. Was it Liebgott or Webster? _

"Well, Nurse Roselle and I won't be too busy then, won't we? That will be nice."

I nodded in agreement though nobody could see. Eugene propped his head on his resting elbow and dozed off. The driver winded through the freshly beaten roads and hummed contently to himself. Alfie didn't make a sound at my side, but only held onto the looseness of my uniform with his face pressed firmly at my side. His silence worried me.

The yellowed grass turned to red dust once again, and we merged into a trail of jeeps. Officers had maps plastered on the hoods of trucks and they scratched at their brains for the next advancement.

"I thought we had this one in the bag?" I questioned, leaning forward in my seat so the two men could surely hear.

"There were lots of prisoners captured from their side. They're trying to figure out what to do with them." The driver answered distantly, shutting off the ignition. "This is your stop."

The area looked displaced and uneasy. Massive amounts of earth was gone, all that was left was a crater. Though nobody was really wounded, and bodies of our men weren't laying on the earth, the place was so ghostly. Maybe it was because the nightmare was still holding onto my thoughts, or maybe it was the slow movements of the men, but the feel of the air haunted me.

The sleepy setting autumn sun hit my face, and for a brief moment I stood there with Alfie at my side and let the small warmth enter my pours. For a brief moment, I felt that perhaps this was almost over, or at least half over. That there was a chance I would get to live a life with Alfie.

"Brave, Liebgott's over on the other side of the road with a wounded neck." Eugene said listlessly, not ordering me but rather informing me I should get moving.

I simply nodded, took Alfred's small hand and let the dry earth slide around our ankles as I made my way to Joe.

He was pissed… I could tell. Joe just had this passionate hate for the Germans. Of course, we all hated them, this was a world war after all. But Joe's hate was a hate so _deep _I swore I could smell it on his skin when I got near him. His hate just seeped out of his pores when he narrowed his eyes and spit by a Kraut carcass. It was rather frightening.

I saw the blood seeping through the rag he had slapped on the night before when he carried Alley in. I cringed at the thought of having to see his flesh twitch as I scrubbed away the dead skin and dry blood. It was a motion of pain I saw much too often. Blood was an awful sight when it was drenched in pure hatred.

"Alfie," I got down on my knees and held his elbows. "Sit here for me, I've got to fix Joey, alright?" I winced internally. I talked like these men were cadavers; but that's how you had to think if you wanted to survive. If you were weak in the mind, you would never get out alive. The unsettling dreams, or rather nightmares, were not helping my state of mind.

He nodded quickly and plopped down on the loose, black soil. I ventured closer to Liebgott, who had his M1 pressed against his cheek. Rhythmic rounds popped off, shocking my eardrums. He was mowing down any German soldier in the valley with an ounce of life left.

"Joe, I need to clean your neck. I don't want it to get infected." I said with as much power as my mouth would allow. He ignored me and I watched his body move against the power of the rifle.

I looked over my shoulder to Alfie. He was breaking dirt clods in his hands, contently watching as the soil crumbled and fell to his shoes. Taking advantage of his distractions, I grabbed Joe's bloodies shirt collar and yelled, "Goddamn it, Joseph, answer me when I talk to you!"

"Goddamn it, _what_?!" He narrowed his eyes at me, and as he turned his body, I swore I could smell the hate.

"Could you fucking pause your turkey shoot for five minutes so I can do my goddamn job and clean you up?!" I was shocked by my foul mouth, but it also felt good to challenge his detestation.

He set down his rifle carefully on his lap so no filth would enter the barrel, "Snappy damn girl, you are."

I got down on my knees and began untying the unruly knot of the scrap of bloody fabric, "It's the only damn way I can get any respect in this place. Especially from you, Joseph Liebgott."

He just smirked, blowing amused air through his nose. "You think it's funny, don't you?" I dug through my trusty black leather bag.

"Little bit," he mused, looking warily as I poured alcohol on a rag.

I inched the damp cloth towards his rust stained neck, "This is gonna hurt like a bitch, Joe."

He gritted his teeth in reply. I dabbed the liquid on his skin and began scrubbing away the caked blood. 10 hours worth of crimson reminder stained his skin, and I finally made it to the initial wound. A bullet had grazed his neck, cutting through his skin like a rounded knife, bellowing his skin like an accordion. He sizzled pained spit through his teeth as I tugged at the dead skin.

"Jesus," he spat bitterly.

The bleeding had mostly stopped, and the deep red oozing was at a minimum. With the gash clean and bacteria free, I slapped a fresh, clean wad of gauze on his neck. I then wrapped a bandage around Joe's entire neck to hold the gauze in place.

"You're all set," I slapped his back and began cleaning up my station. Cleanliness was of the essence.

Captain Winters slid down the loose earth towards us. He rubbed his dirty hands into Alfie's hair happily before confronting Joe. Even Richard became soft around my boy.

"Joe, I need you to take these prisoners to Battalion CP."

Joepsh cackled under his breath, snatching up his rifle. "Yes sir, my pleasure. C'mon, Kraut boys!"

I returned to Alfie, and lifted him onto my hip. He wrapped his small arms around my neck and watched the scene unfold.

"Joe!"

"Yeah?" he answered quickly over his shoulder.

"Drop your ammo."

He looked up in amazement as he shoved a fresh clip into the M1, "What, Cap?"

"Drop your ammo," Winters repeated.

"What? Are you kidding me?"

Dick reached forward, "Give me your weapon." He pulled the new clip from the chamber and easily removed just one. Joe looked on to him in disbelief. "Johnny? How many prisoners do we have?"

Martin looked up from his conversation with Talbert, "Eleven now, sir."

Winters never looked from Joe, "You have one round. You shoot one, the rest with jump you. I want all prisoners back at Battalion CP, alive."

"Yes, sir," Liebgott held his glare still, unhappy he was deprived of his chances.

The grass was tall and it waved gently in the late afternoon breeze. Birds sung their individual tune… all just like a war wasn't going on. Smoke still churned from the mortars holes, and bodies of German SS soldiers were scattered eerily in the valley.

I found my way over to the rest of Easy Company, Alfie still sitting on my hip. His body was still so light, so matter how much we fed him.

Luz was the first man that I saw. I cracked a wide smile and scooted Alfie higher up my side, "Hey, George! Did you hear? Major Horton's dead!"

Luz sauntered up to us, and gave Alfie a high five before speaking, "You're shitting on me."

"Nope. Nobody really cares though… I mean he _did _tell Sobel to cut that damn wire fence. Right?" I winked at him quickly.

Luz swung his arm around Alfie and my shoulders, "Right you are, Mae West."

Eugene stirred a large pot of the blackest coffee you could imagine. I could smell it from a distance. Luz guided me around aimlessly, pointing and laughing with the men we passed.

Muck, Penkala and Malarkey all teased each other on the slope of a mortar-made hill. Alex Penk poked a spoon behind Skip's ear, startling the thin man with a smile always on his lips. Malarkey played mindlessly with a random piece of equipment. My heart pinged heavily. I couldn't bear to ever loose these men. I just hoped that nightmares would never come true in my life, where their loosing life's would be in _my _hands. To have the feeling of the slipping away.

And Eugene told me day after day to not get attached to these men. But how could I not? How can you not fall in love with the wry smile of George Luz? The wildness of Johnny Martin's hair? The crooked and handsome look of Floyd Talbert? The raspy and nearly heavenly voice that belonged only to Joseph Toye? How is it possible to not grow onto that? And not to hold it in your broken heart, because in my life, those smiles are the only beams of light. Eugene had no idea how my heart worked within these days.

B.o.B.

Bull did exactly what I figured he would do, and went AWOL from the hospital. His shoulder was healing up nicely, a thick patch of skin growing well. Being a nurse, I of course thought of his shoulder first.

"Jesus, I'm gone for three weeks and don't even get a kiss?" He tried to cover his smirk with a mock frown.

"Nurses have priorities, Denver Randleman," I chirped happily, contently placing my hands in his. They were large, and warm, and in the three weeks of war I had survived, I had missed them.

Denver was so much taller than me. He was a man larger than a life I knew. So when I kissed him, I climbed up onto his steel toed boots and gained a couple inches. I adored how Bull smelled. It was warm and inviting, and I would cherish his scent forever. He kissed me more passionately than I had expected, but it was nice and I held the taste of his lips on mine and smiled. The burning and rolling aroma

He held his lips a hair away from mine, "I missed you, Boone."

I just kissed him to return my feelings. He held my lower back tightly against his mid section. His arms were home to me. His hold provided everything I needed for my broken heart. Denver was the summer in my winter.

"Give me your tags," I murmured, fishing for the metal sheets that laid against his chest.

He scooped them up from his shirt, and cocked one of his sunshine eyebrows at me. I held my slight smile and fished mine from inside my button up. Both set of tags jingled the same familiar tune.

I pulled the balled chain from the slot and slid his toe tag from the chain. I then did the same to mine. After threading the balled chain through the hole, I latched them together and released our tags. I felt Denver's eyes on my hands during the process, and I couldn't help but smile.

I looked up into his icy blue eyes and captured the glorious image of his soul. "So if I die and they put this on my foot, your name will be there, Bull." I pressed my head into his chest. "And I wouldn't mind that at all. That's how I want it."

B.o.B.

Operation Pegasus. Winters was promoted and Moose Heyliger was our commanding officer now. To me it seemed rather petty. We were crossing the Dike and rescuing a load of British soldiers on the other side. Eugene did not even come along, authorities knowing there was probably no need for medics.

I was able to stay calm around Easy Company, and I tried my best to keep them calm as well. They all gripped their rifles tightly as we bobbed along the surface of the river. We were bent over, silently hugging our knees as we moved. I listened to Shifty and Bull's breathing. Bull's was deep and mine. Shifty's was short and uneasy. Darrel was a good man.

A Brit could be seen on the bay of the river, as his helmet shape stuck out against the moon. The design was so much different from ours. But we were allies, despite our differences. War was about taking your differences, and building them together in a wall. The differences between the countries developed a strong wall, and I knew the axis powers feared us in my heart.

The head of the boat sharply cut through the sand as the Allied soldier pulled us quietly to shore. I hopped from the small boat, keeping my steps light so my cork boots would not splash in the river water.

Once I was completely out, I dug my knees into the moist brown sand and leaned forward on my hands. I felt safe with Bull and Shifty both at my sides.

I strained my ears to listen to what Moose Heyliger and the British commander were chatting about. I liked Moose, from what I could tell he was strong leader, but my loyalty would always belong to Captain Winters.

"Lester!" there was a small pause. "Square!" I covered my mouth to muffle a gasp. Their words were so much sharper than our "Flash" and "Thunder".

They rolled out of the trees in a wall. Unarmored, they were completely silent even down to their breathing. I admired their stealth, and I was also pleased none of them were wounded.

o-o-o

The British soldier roared their motto, pounding their feet against the floor of the barn in town.

A man with a crooked smile and a shot glass in his hand stood proudly on a pile of crates. "Moose Heyliger and the American 101st, have done the Red Devils a great service!" The room agreed with the man standing before them.

"Making it possible for us to return… and fight the enemy another day. To Easy Company, victory and Currahee!" The room bellowed, 'CURRAHEE!' and I even called out along with them. That word was so powerful. It carried all of us through the war. It meant so much to all of Easy Company. Because it showed we were together, even when we were separated. It meant that we were going to survive this war together, as a company.

I couldn't stand the smell of the whiskey that lingered in the stale air. It reminded me too much of my father as the putrid stench stung my nose. The smell made my body ache. I linked the stench and the pain that followed after he took a swig. So much pain inflicted in my short lifetime. It was hard to believe I was free.

Alfie was sleeping with Gene, who never even took part in the operation. It was nice to not have to worry about Alfred for the moment.

I nodded to Nixon who held his favored flask against his chest. He was a good man, but always intoxicated. His slurred words mixed together in my mind, reminding me too much of dad too. Nobody would understand how much it hurt. To watch my family go from picturesque, to two six feet down and another beating on me endlessly. So when I was offered a drink, I just shook my head, because they didn't understand. Easy had no way of knowing.

So I left the smoky barn and breathed in the clearness of the fall night's air. My canteen was filled with pure, clean water and I was simply thankful for that. Smirking vaguely at the yells that came from the barn, I wandered down the cobblestone street. The lanterns lining the Holland road were warm and lit patched of stone.

Behind me I heard the door open, sending the loud bellows into the outside, and then it closed again. Instinctively I looked over my shoulder to see who it was. I recognized his tall frame right away, before he stepped into the street light. It was my Denver.

I took a quick, cool drink from my canteen and fastened it to my belt. Smirking as we walked towards me, I leaned casually against the light pole and waited.

He finally arrived and took my waist, "Hey, babe."

"Boone," he said lowly and simply.

He took my chin between his thumb and hand, and tilted back my head so my eyes shone against the street light. His face was set in stone and I felt my smile slide as he neared my lips with his. He held my lower back securely, winding his fingers in my uniform. Bull kissed me passionately, eventually stealing me away from the revealing light of the street.

My heart pounded as I struggled to keep up with his passion. He spun me around and made sounds in his throat as he guided me around. My back was suddenly pressed against the wall of a building and I felt his cool hands on my bare stomach as he lifted my shirt.

"I'm tired," I pulled away, stopping his passion short once again before it escalated. I took my fingers and held his severely iron needing collar.

He nodded, a hurt expression lining his face. He sucked in a breath of recovering air, "I'll walk you back to the boarding house."

"I'm sorry," I mumbled, taking his hand and adjusting my shirt that haphazardly hung over my pants. Sobel would throw a fit if he saw me.

He just nodded again and squeezed my hands, "I understand."

But inside I knew he didn't understand. He would never be able to comprehend why I still hated human contact.

We walked silently down the dimly lit street, the town buildings looming. Without Denver at my side, I would have been frightened.

"What was that?" Bull asked, slowing his steps.

"What?" I asked, straining my ears.

He shook his head, "I heard footsteps."

And I heard panting.

A body yelled for help and it tore through the street. His boots pounded mercilessly against the cobblestone street. He practically barreled into us, and Bull had to grasp his shoulders to keep the nervous in the service soldier still.

"I-I shot Heyliger! We need a medic on the crossroads, now!"

"Jesus Christ, take me there!" I yelled, slapping on my helmet. "Bull, wake up Eugene!"

I sprinted down the road directly behind the panting trooper, a million muddled thoughts blasting through my mind.

"Shit," was the last thing I heard Denver say as I dashed down the street.

**So, my horse stepped on my foot and pretty much broke half of my foot. And now I'm like, "Where is my morphine specially delivered by a certain handsome Doc Roe?" **

**Heehee, review for me?**


	23. Dark Hymnals

**Thank you for reading! A special thanks to **_ChocAndSnow19_**… you are seriously a genius and I want to kidnap your brain. ;) **

**I hope you enjoy! (I can't believe we're almost at Bastonge)**

**Dark Hymnals **

I practically bulldozed Eugene over at the edge of town. The ridiculous trooper, who I'm sure was struggling to hold down his dinner, plodded on with Harry Welsh running just ahead of him.

"Jeezus, Brave. Can you believe this?" Eugene angrily raked his long boney fingers through his hair. He paced around, spewing words of anger to himself. We stood like lanky silhouettes on the area where the dirt meets the cobblestone of main street.

I waited as patiently as possible for Welsh to come back with Moose, shifting my weight from one leg to another. Gene looked like he was about to rip his thick hair out and I worried as his tired eyes squinted in anger. He was on edge- we were all on edge. I was just trying to keep everybody's nerves tucked under a calm blanket as we lived on.

"Alfie's alright?" I asked mindlessly.

He stopped abruptly and looked like he was about to shoot from his boots, "I don't know! "He lashed out at me, "Why don't you go check on the damn kid?!"

I leaned back in surprise dramatically, only angering him further, "Christ, relax Doc."

I halfway turned to actually go see how my sleeping boy was, but Gene's unique voice stabbed through the chilled night air. "You know what, Loretta? I _won't _relax. Why? Because I don't know what condition that man is in, and if I loose the life of another soldier, I'm going to loose my own goddamn life. So, no, I won't settle down. Got it?" He panted heavily, but soon his venting had gone down and he shoved his fists in his pockets. I just let his words hit me in full force. It didn't even matter to me how horribly I was treated. It was expected now. "I thought you, of all people, would understand. How do you stand to loose a man? How do you sleep? I just can't anymore, goddamn it. _And I'm so tired._"

I stood straight, looking up into the deep pool of atmosphere with twinkling ripples, "What do you think stars are?"

"_What_?"

"Stars," I shrugged, holding my hands in my pockets too. "You know what I think they are, Gene? Souls. Yea, souls. See," I pointed upwards towards the one that was dimmer than the rest. "That one? It doesn't burn as bright. Maybe that person led a harsh life. Perhaps many, many years ago he was a cruel man, so when he died his soul didn't turn into a bright star. But he got something, nothing lavish but something."

I heard Eugene's violent breathing loosen with every word and he tilted his sharp jaw to the night sky.

"And then there are the strong, bright ones. Those people worked hard- led a good life. There are less of those because a pure heart is so rare. And the ones that are in-between…they're like my father. Most of his life he was a great man that loved his family very much. But something, like his alcohol, swept him away and consumed him. It tinted his soul so neither id his star dim, but isn't bright likewise." I sighed, "You know, I try not to hate him, but it's so hard Gene. At least he's dead and gone, but I still think he deserves a star for the better half of his heart."

I finally tore my eyes from the philosophy of the twinkling stars. They were misty with the warnings of tears, but I quickly blinked them back. I was shocked to find Gene very close at front of me.

His eyes met mine, "You're eyes are brighter than the brightest Soul Star up there, Brave. I thank God above for you every day, and that soul of yours." He took my hand, "I'm sorry I snapped at you."

I shrugged, "Sorry I spilled my heart and soul to you just now."

"I needed it." He squeezed my hand, "I promise."

An allied jeep jerked sharply around a tree hidden in the depths of the darkness, it's tired nearly leaving the ground. Men huddle over a figure as it called out mumbled words of pain. Cries dripping in pain were like dark hymnals to me.

Gene and I gave each other one last glance before we were faced with the victim of friendly fire. I tried to keep my blood from boiling just at that fact. How the fuck do you shot your officer in command? But I kept my head level for the moment… or at least as long as I could.

"Stretcher!" Winters bellowed harshly to nobody in particular.

Welsh struggled with Moose's large, lifeless body. "I got him, Harry." Gene said in an unlevel tone. Winters took his legs before I could reach them. Together they lifted him from the truck an onto the taut olive drab fabric that was stained with the blood of many men.

"Set him down," I ordered calmly, falling to my knees and checking his name strip.

Gene settled down on the other side of him, "Did you give him morphine?"

"Yea," Harry replied quickly as if he was shying from the question.

"How much?" Gene pressed on, slapping my hands from Heyliger's chest. I looked up and narrowed my eyes at him.

"I can't remember," Harry swallowed. "Two, maybe three syrettes?"

I felt my eyes grow wide. That was an excessive amount of morphine; even for a man of Moose's size.

"Three syrettes, _maybe_?!" Gene spat out, "Jesus Christ were you trying to kill the man?!"

Harry spluttered, "It was two."

"Do you think it might be important to let me know how much medication the man has had, huh? Because I do not see one syrette on the man's jacket!" Eugene yelled, his face gnarling into something wicked.

I cupped my hands around the bottom of the stretcher, and with a groan assisted in lifting him into the ambulance. Moose would have to be taken to an Aid Station. The Soul Stars did not provide enough light for us to operate.

"Sorry, Doc…" Richard Winters mumbled, shoving his comrade into the hollow of the truck.

Gene ignored the apology, his adrenaline screaming in his body, "It's a damn good thing he's a big man- maybe he'll stand a chance."

"He was in a lot of pain, Doc. We didn't know what to do-"

"Yea well you outta!" Gene lashed out, pointing a sharp finger in their faces. "You are _officers_, you are grown-ups- _you outta know!_" I climbed into the truck, astonished and shocked by Gene's strong words.

Water splashed from Eugene's canteen as he climbed in, pulling one door behind him. "Alright c'mon! Let's move it!" He ordered to the driver of the ambulance.

"Tell Alfie I'll be back, please." I called through the closing door. Winters slammed and locked the second door as the wheels began to turn. He slapped his bloodied hand against the window and it left a print to dry in the night air as we sped away.

"Hey, Moose," I said softly, taking the large man's hands as Eugene rolled up his sleeves. The size of his fingers and palm reminded me of Bull's and my heart ached ever so slightly. Why was intimacy such an issue for me, when I didn't want it to be?

Gene kneeled down beside Moose and began tearing open his trousers, "Don't give him any morphine. Thanks to them once more dose with kill him off."

I opened my mouth to say 'relax' to my best friend, but I remembered what he had said earlier. Eugene was one the edge and I didn't know what to do, especially since I was on the brink too.

Remembering bitterly how he had slapped my hands away, I simply held Moose's hand as Gene dashed sulfur powder all over his wounds. He gave small, painful groans while he was worked on. I didn't know the man well, since he had just became the commanding officer of Easy. But it didn't matter who was hurt- whether they were from Dog, Able or Fox, it was my job to help them through their pain. It was why I was here.

Moose's condition was too severe for Eugene and I to really do much. So we did what we could on the way to the Aid Station a ways behind the line. Once we were there, we handed Heyliger off to the surgeon to fish out the bullets. Gene and both said goodbye before we both practically collapsed from sheer exhaustion.

A jeep drove both of us back to the main street of the small town. Eugene collapsed on my shoulder and fell asleep. I smiled, watching the contrast of his long, black eyelashes against his pale skin. I wrapped my arm around my dearest friend and leaned my head against his. My eyes felt dry as I tried to keep them open. It felt like I had lead weights on my eyelashes.

But I survived until we returned to the house Bull and Alfie were in. I woke Gene up and he held onto me for support until he reached the musty couch in the lobby room. He was asleep before his body even hit the moth eaten cushions.

I relied heavily on the railings as I climbed upstairs into the lofting rooms. The wallpaper was torn in the hallway, and the old house only had small reminders of a family once residing there. I cracked open a door to find Bull fast asleep on a wobbly looking cot with Alfie right at his side. And then I saw the most inviting looking pile of blankets in my life.

Without a sound, I fell into the heap of worn and faded quilts. I undid the button lining my front and let the coolness of the autumn air embrace my skin. I only wore a pair of borrowed boxers from Luz and an olive drab tank top. Sub consciously I drew my knees to my chin and listened to my two boys' breathing until I settled into a slumber

o-o-o

As the hot metal ripped through my flesh, my head whipped back. I sucked in a quick gasp, knowing this would be my last breath. Bull hovered over my squirming body that was in the sights of his pistol.

"Denver… please," I begged, holding my abdomen that dully burned. I had been shot in the gut and I struggled to hold in my own blood. "Medic… Gene…" I called desperately, shaking in pain.

He narrowed his eyes and lowered his handgun further, "You're worthless. A waste of rations."

The chamber snapped and the pistol spit out a spinning bullet. I grasped my thigh and screamed in pain. I arched my back and flailed around, screaming until my throat felt raw-

"Boone! Boone!" My body rocked back in forth. I clawed and screamed out in pain. "You're having a bad dream! Wake up!"

I shot straight up, my head pounding and my mouth dry and panting. Those bright blue eyes of the man I had just feared my life from held me close. The sight of his concerned face made me want to spew. The feeling of pain in my stomach still lingered raw and I held it tightly.

"Boone… what happened?" Denver whispered into my neck that was moist with a cold sweat.

"I'm so fucking sick and tired of these goddamn nightmares, Bull." I pounded my fist into his massive chest.

He took me by my shoulders and pushed my back so our eyes met. "You've had others?"

I swallowed and my eyes fell from him. I didn't want him to know about my infertility. Not yet. I hadn't prepared for this. Damn my big mouth.

"Yea, some," I croaked, still holding my gaze away from him.

Bull squeezed my shoulders, "About what?"

I lied. "About getting shot."

He just nodded, believing my cover up. I found my head in his chest again.

"Lottie?" Alfie sleepily called, rubbing his face. His bare feet pattered against the hardwood floor of the house. "I heard screaming. Are you alright?"

I gulped, "I just had a bad dream. Want to come sleep beside me?"

Alfie nodded silently and crawled under the covers. Even Luz's PT gear hung ghostly around his small frame, but it was all we had for sleepwear.

Bull first kissed my forehead and then Alfie's before returning to his own cot. Alfred curled in the small of my waist and quickly drifted off to sleep. He had no idea what was going on.

"_It was just a dream. Bull would never shoot you. Go to sleep. It wasn't real_." I chanted to myself, begging my eyes to close. It was the most realistic dream I had ever had. Even the pain of the bullet felt so similar to the one on D-Day.

B.o.B.

Everything in time itself spun around me like a tornado. The month of October passed quickly and it was rather uneventful. Occasionally a man wandered into enemy territory and was wounded, but Gene and I had a small rest and weren't losing a man every day.

We were into December now but Easy Company had only 65% strength and the majority of them were replacements. Toccoa men were now an endangered species. The company was now stationed in Mourmelon-le-Grand, France for some training before we ventured towards the borders of Germany. The Allied forces now had the upper hand, so the reports said, but it sure as hell didn't feel like it.

Moose would live, but we had a new commanding officer. Norman Dike, and I'm telling you, he was a dick head. Four weeks with the bastard and the guys were already calling him Foxhole Norman.

Marching exercises were for the most part optional for nurses and medics. But I knew a certain Denver Randleman of mine was required to be there. I took every optional available to be with him rather than hovering over a cadaver with Gene and Spina. I felt his glance on my, seeing as I marched directly ahead of him.

Marching didn't require much thinking these days. We just kind of did it. That was why the men didn't understand why they were still required to do it. Slush shot from the dull, gray sky. It slapped against our helmet and made the road surface slick. I nearly lost my footing on the sharp, promptly 180 degree turn.

"Watch your step, or you'll hurt those pretty legs of yours," Cobb hissed with an undesirable tone.

"It doesn't help that these damn boots are six sizes too big, Roy." I replied out of the corner of my mouth. Dike circled around the halted formation. He held his eyebrows high, clearly not having a clue what a proper formation looked like. It's a good damn thing Easy Company made him look good.

With a bellowing call from Foxhole Norman's right hand man, we all saluted in time with each other. A snap sounded once Dike broke the salute and our hands returned to our sides. The men of authority left and I sighed in relief that my back could relax.

Denver slid his gloved hand at the small of my back and pulled me to his hip.

He whispered into my hair, "Christ, if Sobel saw you slouch like that…"

I turned around hastily and I stood on my toes to give him a quick, but lingering kiss, "Fuck Sobel and his posture."

"I can feel the cold in my bones, Boone." He took my hand, "It's going to be one hell of a winter."

"Time for the big ole bear to go into hibernation?" I teased, gently poking his chest. A smile cracked along his round face, "Well, if you do, please take me with you. I don't want to spend the winter in Europe's forest."

He kissed my forehead and I instinctively closed my eyes, "I wish I could take you away from here, babe. Just you and me. No more blood, no more marching, no more war."

I pressed my head into his chest like I always did, "Wouldn't it be nice?"

"Lottie! Lottie!" A familiar and sometimes pesky little voice called out for me. One that wasn't quite prepared to call me 'mother'. "Are you done training?"

"Alfred," I kneeled down to meet his running force. "What are you doing out here without a coat on? You'll get pneumonia!"

"Nurses," Bull scoffed, pretending to side with Alfie. I glared teasingly up at his towering face.

B.o.B.

I caught Bill Guarnere wandering the paths between barracks on a late afternoon. He still had a limp…crazy bastard must have gone AWOL. What am I going to do with these men?

About a month earlier Bill had gone on a joyride on a motorcycle. Why not? I could already hear him say. It was good to be alive! I mentally rolled my eyes at the rebuttals I was expecting.

A wry idea shriveled up my face in an idea. I bunch my lengthy hair up in a knot and shoved it securely under my helmet. I then loosened the belt that was at my waist, hiding another feminine attribute. I kneeled down and slapped some dirt from the muddy path onto my cheekbones.

I then sauntered up to him and lowered my voice, swallowing my smile. It reminded me of back in Toccoa when I was 'Loren'. Oh, it seemed so long ago when I begged Carwood to conceal my secret. The desperation that was once filled my heart.

"You lost, trooper?" I questioned in the closest-to-Joe Toye- voice I had in my gut.

He spun around, clinging onto a yellowed scrap of paper. He shifted his weight off of his still healing leg. "Yea, do you know where a little joint called Lou-Lou's is?"

I paused and felt my smile crack the drying mud on my cheeks. His thick eyebrows were furrowed as his Philly accent still spoke down at the paper. I didn't reply, I simply waited for him to look up into my eyes.

I crossed my eyes and shifted my weight, a smile teasing the corner of my lips.

"Easy Company?" I asked, still holding my tone low, growing impatient.

He lowered the paper and glanced up, "Huh-? Loretta Lou is that you?"

I placed my hand on my chin and stroked it, "Nah, I'm Loren!"

He wrung his heavy, thick arms around my neck, laughing heartily into my hair. I thought about returning the favor, but remembered I had a bone to pick with him.

"Hey, no hugging! I've got a bone to pick with you, William Guarnere!" I held my fists firmly at my hips after releasing my hair. "A _Joyride_? Are you _trying _to get yourself killed?"

I struggled to stay mad, because he just gave me those adorable dark eyes of his and I caved.

"Hey, Lottie… 'was just a scratch!" He pleaded with arm out through his underbite.

"_Hardly _a scratch! You broke your fucking leg!" I raised my voice, pointing down to the limb he favored. "Just because they call you 'Wild-Bill' doesn't mean you should prove it! I should slap you."

"But you won't…" he cheekily smiled, capturing me into an unwilling hug. I planted a kiss on his clean-shaven cheek and pretended to struggle away from his embrace.

He held my waist and limped at my side, "So, how are you and my good friend Bull?"

I swallowed, "He's a good man, Bill."

William nodded and held his smile.

"But I have some bad news from when you were gone…"

He abruptly halted mid step and nearly lost his footing. I took both his hands until he was steady again. "What happened?"

Guarnere was one of the few people that I truly trusted. He was right up there with Eugene. Now, I love all of Easy's men dearly, but I still have 'people issues'. And I'm afraid I'll never fully recover from the thoughts that sting my memories.

"I found out I can't have kids, Gonorrhea." I felt my face slide. I hated to remember the awful truth.

"How?"

"It's a long story. But, I've been having nightmares. Bull kills me or hates me because I'm infertile. He just yells awful things to me."

"You have to tell him."

I lowered my sights, "I know, but I want to wait and see where things go. I don't know how to tell him. Maybe I'm afraid how he will react, but I just don't know."

Bill swung his arm around me once again. I wasn't sure if it was for his support, or mine. "Ah, baby girl. All will be well… I'll make sure of it, babe."

B.o.B.

"Look at me, I'm John Wayne. The costume department set me up with these great Navy Whites- whadaya think?" Luz crooned, doe eyes staring up into the black and white splattered canvas hung at the front of the auditorium.

Lipton and Toye spun around, hissing at him to shut up. Carwood's scar he had received in Carentan showed up against the Cinema lights.

"I've seen this movie thirteen times, alright?" Luz complained, dramatically waving his cancer stick around.

"Yea, well I haven't, so shut up!" Toye hissed, spinning to look at the movie again.

I smiled at the childish charm of George Luz, but still soaked in the movie playing. I had a feeling in my bones that we would be moving out soon. It was the same feeling Bull got in his Southern bones about the winter. John Wayne could be my last taste of civilization and the outside world for quite awhile.

Bull was holding me securely in his lap- one hand holding my ass and the other around my upper back. I held onto his large arms rested my head in his chest, like I always did. I began to fiddle with his thick, green suspenders. You could tell when Denver Randleman smiled, because he kind of snorted through his nose in a puff. And if you were lucky and could make him laugh, he pulled his cigar from his lips.

I had gotten him to chuckle.

"Want a puff, babe?" He mumbled down at me, holding the smoldering stub before my lips.

"No now, no tomorrow, no forever… those things will kill you!"

He leaned forward- my body was so small in comparison to his. "Eh, you're thinking about forever?"

He saucily kissed me, causing Luz to kicked Bull's mammoth boot. "Get a room." George ordered, still talking in his dramatic John Wayne classic voice.

Denver held my rear firmer, "You wanna?"

"Denver!" I hissed, completely shocked by his words and actions. I almost wanted to play along, but the nightmares and his possible reaction still haunted me.

"Ooh, favorite part!" Luz said above us, making Joe roll his eyes. "Gotta penny? Got a penny? GOTTA PENNEH?"

"Got a penny?" the elegant woman actress on the screen repeated George. He responded in a content chuckle. I secretly wished I could be remotely as beautiful as she was. But it was hard in the middle of a war. It was a wonder why Bull was so interested in me when she was right there in his face.

"Ain't she a beaut?" Joe Toye whispered to Lipton, who was a married man.

Luz pulled his Lucky Strike from his lips, "I think the one and only Loretta Roselle could give even Rita Hayworth a run for her money!"

I blushed heavily, being pulled from my thoughts, and buried my red cheeks into my collar. I felt Bull's hand daringly venture and give my rear a slight pinch, making me even more bashful.

"Thanks, Georgie," I winked quickly and nestled deeper into Bull's hold. I had grown to love the aroma on Bull's cigar.

Men coughed in the makeshift theater. Cigarette smoked lingered in the air, dulling the rays of black and white from the projector. I was comfortable, so a moment. I felt slightly guilty leaving Gene to take inventory and also watch after Alfie, but I selfishly felt I needed this small R&R.

But that feeling was short lived.

I closed my eyes for an instant, but bright lights flashed through my peaceful eyelids.

"Jesus, what now?" Bull grumbled, pushing me slightly so I sat upright on his lap. I wanted to grab his suspender and fall into his chest once again.

Two men with long coats stomped down the aisle, they're coats swaying with anger.

"You can't do that to the Duke!" I heard Luz complain. Funny, he was just mocking him. The men of clear authority stepped onto the stage.

The pair shouted down at us to be silent. "Quiet, I said quiet! Elements of the first and sixth SS Panzer division have broken through the Ardennes forest. They've over run the 28th infantry and elements of the 4th. All officers report to respective HQ's. All passes are cancelled."

Bull lifted his arms in anger around me and I let my chin fall against my chest. My bones were right- we were moving out. The men bickered and argued, standing unwilling from their chairs. No two chairs in the makeshift auditorium were the same.

I stood from Denver's large lap, feeling the chill of the room engulf my recently comfortable body.

"Goddamn it," I mumbled, crossing my arms. "I better go take inventory with Gene and get Alfie." I stood on the edge of his steel toed boots and stole a quick kiss. "I'll see you later, babe."

"Love you, Boone," he said softly, unwilling releasing my hand.

I couldn't return the simple words for some reason, so I scurried away into the crowd of men. I would have to face the music sooner rather than later.

**No updating for at least a week. I've got some state competitions, and I'll be out of town. :/**

**At least I left ya with a long one!**

**(Still can't believe we're at Bastonge)**

**Reviews make me so happy it's silly!**


	24. Feel Again

**Feel Again**

We were loaded into rumbling trucks as if we were cattle. Easy Company went wherever the United States Army sent us, whether we liked it or not. Every time I stepped foot into a vehicle, I never knew where I was going next. War was a guessing game, and I tried to never argue. We were so exhausted, we just kind of… went with it.

But the cold was bitter and my knees ached. I tucked them under my chin and wrapped my arms around my shins, trying to warm my painful joints. Alfie was sound asleep against the front of the back of the truck. He was curled in a ball, and I threw my coat over his shivering body. With every chattering breath that escaped his mouth, I felt guilty and a sense of regret. I didn't know where we were going, and I was terrified of where I was pulling him along.

I was positioned comfortably on the shaking floor, my torso squeezed between Bull's legs. He chewed the fat with the rest of the men, and I squirmed under the weight of the pain in my knees. It pressed through me and I felt my bones grind together like stones.

Denver dipped his hand under my shirt collar and ran his thumb over the large, wrinkled scar on my shoulder. I squeezed my eyes shut, another jolt of pain gnawing in my joints. I did not do well when it came to the dark winter months. I was a summer wildflower.

He then slid his hand from my shirt that provided no warmth. "Your hair," Bull whispered for only me to hear. "It's grown."

I smiled as I felt the gentle tug of his finger running through my hair. To keep the guys from thinking about us, I spoke.

"I can't believe they're sending you guys onto the fucking line with no ammunition."

Bull continued to play with my hair, "Yea, well you ain't got no medication. Are they trying to get us killed?"

"Jesus, Holland to France. France to Belgium?" I complained openly, "What are we, a traveling circus?"

This earned a light chuckle from the men in my truck.

"Christ I miss those C-47's," Wild-Bill spat. It was good to have him back, even though I was still angry at him for that joyride. Shit, breaking his leg over nothing.

"We got a tailgate jump here," Tab said through chattering teeth.

I had to have a happy ending. I felt like somewhere there was fine print that a girl who had been through a war, abused by her father, and had the ability of having children taken from her, was deserving of a happy ending. Right? Bull, Alfie and I… a happy ending. Just the thought of living with the two in harmony made me smile.

"What're you smiling at, cowgirl?" Liebgott asked, drawing his thin coat closer to his healing neck.

I shook my head lightly and adjusted my posture. "Uh, nothing. Just thinking."

"Hey, what's your name again kid?" Bill asked through his under bite. I didn't know the young trooper who was the newest replacement in the truckload.

"Suerth. Suerth Junior." He replied nervously.

"You got any ammo, Junior?"

He floundered, "Uh, just what I'm carrying."

"What about socks? You got extra socks?" Garcia added, his eyes half closed.

"A pair."

Skip stuck a shaking finger into the cold air, "You need four, _minimum._ Feet, hand, neck, balls-"

"Extra socks warm them all!" The rest of the boys finished the little jingle.

"Ah, good! We all remembered that one!" Muck called. "Did Loretta remember her revised version?"

"Feet, hands, neck, boobs…" They all cackled before I could even finish. This just about scared the replacement out of his socks.

"I'd give my goddamn boots for a cigarette," Bill complained.

"We need socks."

"I bet Juniors got both!" Guarnere egged them on.

"You got a hat?" Liebgott's voice dripped with even more mystery in the cold. "What a about a coat, you got a coat?"

"Shut the fuck up about the coat, Joe. Nobody's got one." I snapped with a small smiled, my knees churning in more pain.

"You have a Strike, Junior?" Malarky questioned, drawing his scratchy scarf around his neck.

"Yea, I got a pack," Suerth answered, seeming pleased he actually had something they wanted.

The men scrambled to yank a white cancer stick from the pack, jumbling around and causing a lot of noise.

"Quiet, please… you'll wake Alfie." But none of them heard me, but Buck.

"What did you say, cowgirl?" Buck asked politely, slapping Muck in the back of the head so he would quiet down.

"Nothing," I said quickly, shrinking back into Bull's legs.

Bull began to rub my back in small circles, and I waited for the men to take their stares from me. I still think they thought I was a mystery. Sometimes they gave me weird looks, like I was some voodoo witch. But if that was true, my father would have been dead long before the tornado.

This made me think of Johnny, and how our sleepy old town in Oklahoma was getting along. It was difficult to be so far from home. I never knew if it had rained, of there was a blanket of snow covering the flat plains. Johnny never wrote me another letter, and I felt guilty for nearly forgetting my old friend. I had a bond with John that amounted to more than these men. Johnny was a childhood friend, and you never forget an innocent bond like that.

I missed the train that rattled my window panes before the sun engulfed the horizon. I missed my childhood more than anything. Those were times when everything was well. But the turn of my age was when momma and Billy were killed- and the living hell of my father's alcoholism began. My teenage years were far from normal, but my young adulthood was even more abnormal. I was sure my old friends were all married to handsome men, some already with children.

Perhaps because my young years were so fine, is why I have been burdened with these years. It hurt now to imagine a perfect family, because I knew that wasn't going to happen. I needed to stop imagining a good life like I just had moments before. There is no use lying to yourself.

I had Bull, but even after these months, I saw him as a protector more than a lover. Possible because I'm a broken hearted woman, or because we were in the midst of a war. But now that I know there are flaws inside my body, I could never see being a good wife.

But Alfie… I would hold that boy at my side for the remainder of time. I loved him so much, and I couldn't bear to lose him. When everything was on the fence in my life, Alfred was solid and always there for me, possibly more than I was for him.

"You're quiet," Denver bent down to whisper through my hair. "Something wrong?"

I shook my head, "Still just thinking."

"About me?"

"Yes." I replied plainly as the tires halted against the frozen earth.

He pulled his hands from my trembling body and I felt him lean back against the frame of the truck. A nervous worry washed through me momentarily. What if Bull didn't love me after the war ended. What if he only had feelings for me because I was the only woman in miles. What if…?

"Alright, everybody out! Move it!"

I shrunk back further into Bull's legs. As a man ripped open the canvas flap, I felt the cold air pushing through while the warm body heat dispersed out into the night.

"No." I said plainly, crossing my arms and pouting my lips.

Bull tried to stand up, but soon found out I was sitting firmly on his boots. "Boone… get up."

"No."

He scooped me up under my armpits in one swift motion. I was like a ragdoll in comparison to him. He let my boots dangle for a moment as the rest of the boys filed out.

"Well, at least we know we're not in hell. It's too damn cold!" Muck said, hopping from the tailgate as he vigorously rubbed his hands together. Alfie followed silently behind the men, holding onto the back of Buck Compton's jacket. I closed my eyes for a moment, telling myself the boys would take care of him. I needed a moment with Bull.

Then with a gentle swing, my legs fell over his arms and I wrapped my arms around his large neck. He held me like a newlywed man with his bride.

Time stood still for a moment. I concentrated on how he held me. It was different from a hug from Spina or Guarnere. He pressed me against his chest like he desired for me to feel his heart. The way his arms held me securely let me know I was safe for that moment.

He parted his lips and held me like he never wanted to set me down. If he sat me down, I would be setting foot onto the frozen battlefield of Bastonge.

"She wore blue velvet… bluer than velvet was the night. Longer than May were her tender sighs. Bluer than velvet were her eyes…" Bull sang softly one of my old favorites with his eyes closed.

"Bull?" I smiled through the cold that made my skin crack. "Let's revise that to 'She wore Army green?'"

He smirked and gave my whole body a squeeze, "You'll be in blue velvet someday, Boone. And I pray I will be there to see it."

I tried to keep my brows from furrowing. What did that mean?"

"Hey, you two lovebirds!" The flap was ripped open again, invading the miniscule privacy we had. "We're about to get moving." Popeye's burning red face was gnarled into something of a smile, a stern glance and embarrassment.

"How's your ass, Pop?" I laughed with a wry smile.

He face burned even brighter, "Real good, Lottie."

Bull still refused to set me down.

"Glad to hear. Now, I don't ever want to patch that up again, you hear?"

Popeye just grinned a toothy smile and slid from the opening of the truck.

I slid my hand onto Bull's face that was growing blonde whiskers, "Men are so lucky. They have hair to cover their cheeks in the winter."

He blew a laugh through his nose and I dropped my hand. I relaxed my heavy head into his neck and took in his scent. It was never certain when my last whiff would be. "We really should go out there…"

"We should do a lot of things that we never will." I could hear the smile playing on his lips.

"Was that an intimacy joke?" I looked him sternly in the eyes.

"Yes." He replied with the same plainness that I had just moments earlier. That dog.

Then I fully understood what he meant, and it hit me harder than the nightmares. Did he know?

"Put me down," I ordered with a forced smile that I used to cover secrets. I squirmed out of his hold before he could even loosen his grip.

I practically ran from the truck bed and my ankles cracked once I made contact with the frozen earth. I searched desperately for the jet black head of hair that belonged to Gene, praying for an escape from the nightmare that I hoped wasn't real.

Thick rows of stumbling men walked down the road. Some had bloodied bandages hanging ghostly off of bloodied limbs and charred body parts. Others leaned heavily on each other for support. Some held a glazed over gaze that made my blood run colder than the temperature.

"Loretta? Boone!"

Hands met my shoulders forcibly and I whipped around to assault the stranger that touched me. Human contact still, and would always bother me.

"Hi," I said in a near whisper, trying to catch my breath that was locked with the frigid.

"What was _that _all about?" He practically yelled at me, holding my upper arms. His blue eyes stung the muddy orbs of mine.

"Um," I floundered, shifting my weight uncomfortably. "Ants in my pants."

He rolled his eyes, "You're a horrendous liar, Boone."

"I'll talk about it later with you, 'aight?" I shook his hold away from me, "Right now, we need to take care of a damn war. Where are these trooper's coming from?"

"Cowgirl!" One Philly accent called.

"Lottie, c'mere!" A second one called and I recognized it to be Babe's.

With Denver following directly behind me, I paced over to the couple with a worried look. They were speaking to a wounded soldier who's arm was dangling in a sling.

"They slaughtered us…" He stammered, his expression laced with exhaustion. "You gotta get out of here."

Babe raised his voice in his confusion, "What do you mean? We just got here!"

"Give me your ammo," Bill ordered, poking at the stranger's chest. Bill was a wise man.

"Take it, you'll need it." The man with an unknown name melted into the crowd again.

Bill took my arm, "Cowgirl, can you believe this?"

"I need to go find their medic. I need supplied too." I took Bull's hand and pulled him behind me. I needed to feel his protection again, despite what had just happened. With that I walked briskly into the slow moving flood of battered soldiers, searching for the comfort of a red cross.

"Boone, we should talk about this now." He nagged, following behind me with a firm grip on my hand.

"Hey, you got and morphine, sulfur, bandages?" I prodded at the herd of men.

"Boone…" he warned.

"Denver, not now." I shot back with a firm command. That got him to be quiet for a moment.

With each question, the wounded troopers just shook their hands. Their lips were cracked and their eyes sunken in. Some of their fingers had lost the color of flesh against the cold. None of them could speak an answer.

We had pushed through them and made it to the end of the crowd. A man with dark hair showing under his helmet with the bars of a lieutenant called out from his jeep.

I immediately saw the sweet crates with K-9 stamped in red. Somebody had set holes dug in the earth aflame, and the orange light illuminated Winters' red hair.

"Lieutenant, you're a God sent!" Nixon said as he adjusted his belt. "What's the situation?"

"I heard you guys were coming in, and there was an ammo dump, so… here I am." The young Lt. said, watching as Toye unloaded more crates. "Is it just you guys in the 101st?"

"Looks like it," Captain Winters replied, slightly disgruntled.

"The Krauts have Tigers, Panzers, SP's, Stooka's… the infantry just kept coming." The God sent of a soldier informed.

I lost track of the conversation once I began tearing through the crates in desperation to find supplies. I recovered a meager few rolls of bandages, two boxes of morphine and a dissolvable tonic.

More Easy Company guys crowded around the rumbling jeep, yanking crates from the back and cracking them open. They swung syrettes and grenades over their shoulders, faces masked in worry.

"Men, we're moving on down that road there," Winters instructed, pointing northward. Richard Winters was the only man I would trust to tell me to go down an unknown dark road in the middle of the night.

We began walking down a dark road with haunting black trees. The night sky was heavy with clouds, and the thin slice of the moon struggled to shine through.

Men shared scarves with each other, and the sight of even Liebgott showing compassion made my heart thump. Floyd Talbert tightly embraced his M1, while Johnny Martin had a stern, displeased look on his face. I took a double take and saw Alfie holding onto Floyd's leg, and I heard his quiet sobbing. Tab tried desperately to convince the child I would be there in a moment.

"Floyd!" I called, my heart aching as I saw a wet circle in Tab's pant leg.

Tab tried to peel the child off of him, "Alfie! Look, there's Lottie! Go get her and _scold her for leaving you_."

I mouthed a 'sorry' to my friend from Kokomo. Alfred dashed over to my side, holding his tiny pink hands over his blue eyes that leaked tears.

"Baby, ssh. You're alright. I'm sorry, I lost track of you." I knelt down and Bull paused and observed. "Honey, take my coat. I don't want you getting sick, babe."

I slid my semi-heavy coat from my arms and wrapped the warm material over his body like a blanket. The tail nearly drug on the earth… he was still so small.

"Baby, take mine," Bull said, already holding his massive wool coat before me. All he had left was his Airborne jacket, and I already saw him tense up against the cold.

"Thank you," I murmered as he draped it over my shoulders.

Denver knelt down as well and kissed my temple. "Alfie, climb on my back! Maybe you'll keep me warm."

The tears of my boy had frozen to his small, pink cheeks. He clambered onto Bull's back and hung onto his large neck.

"Hold on!" He laughed, making the child smile. Denver let out a small whinny for effect, making Alfred practically laugh out loud.

This was my family.

I looked up at Denver after a while, who held a small flicker of light under his nose.

"Want a smoke?" Bull asked, puffing out the first breath of smoke.

"I will, actually," I said slyly, holding the fat, fresh cancer stick before my lips. I felt Bull's eyes of astonishment on me.

I sucked in a lungful of the heavy aroma and instantly coughed and spluttered. Denver slapped my back and took his cigar back. "I tried."

Bull laughed a hearty laugh, his chilled face cracked into an enormous smile. I do believe that was the happiest I had ever seen Denver Randleman…and all because I tried out a cigar.

These men were slowly helping me overcome my fears, whether they knew it or not. Bill was my new Billy. He was what I imagined Billy growing up to be like had he been given the chance to age. Luz had shown me that it was okay to laugh in the middle of a war, and I was eternally thankful for that. Liebgott taught me strength, and Winters taught me leadership. Eugene showed me compassion and understanding. But Bull made me feel something I never imagined I would experience again. Denver made me feel love again. He helped me break down my walls, and even though we sometimes hit rough waters, I loved him.

I wasn't sure where exactly we were headed. All I saw was the thin letters of 'Bastonge' painted in white letters that matched the fresh falling snow, written on an arrow. The arrow pointed down the dark road on which we marched not in unison of footfalls, but in the brotherhood in which we had.

**Short, I know. But I wanted to set some things up and get some solid dialogue in there.**

**Thanks!**


	25. Momma

**Thank you for taking the time to read! :) I hope you enjoy! **

**Momma**

"Speen, roll down the flaps on that damn hat of yours. At least_ try _to keep those little pink ears attached to your head?"

He dropped his shovel, "You making fun of my ears, cowgirl?"

I couldn't help but smirk, "Why, you insecure about them?"

"Kinda…" Ralph's face flushed.

"I think they're cute. Like little bear ears, Speen."

He relaxed and resumed chipping away the frozen earth. "You insecure about anything, Lots?"

"Only everything."

He kept speaking, trying to prevent me from gazing off, "C'mon, be specific. I told you about my ears."

"Well, my past mostly." I shrugged, "After all this time, I still feel like the men treat me differently about it all."

He glanced up from his work, "You're a lady to be treated differently."

"But I wish it wasn't for that."

"Alright, anything else?"

I wanted to tell him about my infertility. It made me feel broken… as if when Bull saw the scratch on me, he would put me back on a shelf and find himself a real _woman_.

"My body really. It's awful, and don't you dare say any different Ralph Spina."

He argued anyway, "Looks fine to me."

"Well, you don't know what's under this uniform, or rather what isn't. And I pray to God you never have to, Speen." I chuckled lightly, imagining how awkward it would be for Eugene or Spina to cut off my clothes and mend me.

Bastonge gave me a bad feeling that lingered in my gut. The plotted rows and straight lines of dark pines, and the amounts of frozen bodies that lay on the edge of the line. This forest frightened me as a medic. There was no landmarks to help me know my way from foxhole to foxhole. I was gifted with a good sense of direction, but the rows upon rows of identical trees threw me off.

Eugene emerged from the dense fog that hung in the forest. He held his held down as if he was thinking.

"Spina and Brave." My best friend plopped down on the edge of our foxhole.

I grasped the shovel and began forcing the blunt edge into the frozen ground, "What's doing, what's happening? We're digging in right along the line."

"Yea, this is it." Ralph swung his shovel over his shoulder. "So, what'd ya get?"

"Got myself a Kraut bandage."

Ralph looked up, "How the hell did you manage to get that?"

He fiddled with the gray bundle of gauze, "The line is so thin, some Kraut walked right next to Captain Winters' foxhole. Poor bastard was taking a shit…"

We all chuckled. It was amusing how little emotion Eugene put into his words, but how much we got out of it by his accent.

"Anyway, General McAuffuif showed up to talk to the officers. He's kind of a bastard."

Spina snorted, "I'll agree with that."

You know what he said? "Just fill the gaps. There's a lot of shit coming this way." Then he hops in his nice Jeep and goes safely away from the line. Christ."

Alfie was curled up against a lone pine tree, separate from the other trees. He was miserable. Trembling and shivering… I had given him every jacket and shirt I could scrounge up. The boy had streams of ice frozen to his pink cheeks because he had been crying so much. This crushed me and I couldn't even stand to look at the ball of bundled sobbing behind me.

He had to go back to America… without a doubt. There was no possible way Alfred could stay in Bastonge with me. I had to somehow get him home… the problem? I had no home to send him to.

I needed to have a conversation with Bull about my disheartening news, that I had discovered seemingly forever before. I had put this off too long, but there weren't many opportunities to have a conversation during a war.

I also made up my mind that I would speak with Caption Nixon, the intelligence officer. Perhaps if the odds were in my favor, he could somehow help me get Alfie home.

The metal handle of the trench shovel began to make even my numb hands burn. We had all sacrificed our gloves to Alfie, who was still shuddering against the sap of the tree.

He slid down the side of the fresh foxhole and rummaged through his bag. "And for you, from the captain."

I held up the small bandage, "This is it?"

"That's it. All we got…" He yanked a syrette from a small, brown morphine box. Eugene held it between his white, boney fingers as he observed it. "You heard? First battalion moved out of Foy. Heavy casualties."

Spina wiped his lips from his canteen water, "If they're moved out, then what the hell are we still doing here?"

Eugene pursed his lips in frustration and shot me a look, "I need morphine… this is all we got." He dipped the strong painkiller into the box and returned it into his shoulder bag. The frigid temperature of zero degrees flat had made even the supple leather on my back freeze up. "You got any extra scissors, Spina?"

"Nah, just the one."

Eugene gave my shoulder a nudge with his elbow as I kept working at the hole, "What about you, Brave. Scissors?"

The way he said scissors was so thick in accent, I barely understood.

"No, I left mine in that goddamn barn that Alley was in. Good thing they were dull." I tried to hold my voice steady.

That night was awful. Alley was fine now, singing the same old tunes with Liebgott, much to Mama Lip's displeasure. Every time our paths crossed, Alley was give me a smile and thank me for saving his life. I needed that.

Eugene's gaze fell and his thin, dark eyebrows relaxed. He knew.

Lieutenant Dike gave even Sobel a run for his money. We called him 'Foxhole Norman' because all the bastard did was sleep the winter away in his hole like a damn bear. At lead Sobel _lead _us, even though it was in a cruel manor.

Dike the Dick sauntered over, barely able to find his footing. It was the exhaustion of his hard work, I was sure. Har. Har.

"What's this," he asked, his head so far up his ass it was a wonder he could breathe. "_Three _medics in one hole?"

"Yes, sir," Ralph answered coolly. I admired him for not spitting at our officer.

"What's going to happen to us, if you take a hit," he placed his hand on his hip. "Huh?"

Even Spina couldn't muster an answer without sass in his voice.

Lipton trotted over, holding his helmet by his hand. "Yes, sir?" Dike had called him over like a dog moments earlier.

"Where is my foxhole?"

_Bite your tongue, Loretta._

"It's uh, over here, sir." Lipton, always a polite soldier, gestured behind himself. "Must have passed it, yea?"

Dike finally left, shooting us one last glare beforehand.

I waited until he was out of earshot, "That bastard is going to get them all killed."

"We're here to prevent that," Spina said, trying to hint cheerfulness.

I glanced back at Alfie who stirred, "Well when the heart stops beating, we can't do much, can we?"

"Way to put a damper on thing, cowgirl."

"Sorry, Speen."

Eugene had slipped out of the foxhole like a cat in the night. Once he set his mind to something, he made sure it got done.

I leaned against the walls of the foxhole and listened to Spina's heavy breathing that mingled with mine. It was difficult work to dig into frozen ground. The only beneficial thing about digging was it got our blood pumping and it warmed our muscles. I wished that Alfie would stand and move around, but the child wouldn't do anything…not even for me.

"So, how are you and Bull?"

I shrugged, "As good as a relationship can get in the midst of a war, I suppose. I don't get to see him much."

Ralph leaned forward, "And the kid?"

"I'm not sure… he won't say much."

"Not even to you?" Speen asked, surprised.

I whispered, "Not even me. I hope it's just the cold, but I forgot about him when we first arrived."

"Holy shit cowgirl! No wonder he's upset… how the hell do you forget a kid?"

I held my index finger to my pale, dry lips. "Shhh! I didn't _forget _him, I just lost track of him while I was hunting for supplies. Talbert had him, so all was fine. I think I just hurt his feelings a bit. But as long as he eats, he'll be at my side by nightfall I'm sure of it."

"Still have those pretty hair combs I picked out for you in Georgia?" A smiled etched across his face.

I patted my hollow helmet, "They're always under here, Speen.

I had heard the distant banging of mortar rounds before, but that was off of the line. But as they rained down on the cluster of foxholes, it was nothing I could prepare for. The heavy pounding and screeches made my heart jumble around in my rib cage. I felt the ringing pour down my ears and into my throat. The earth shook with fury before we could even comprehend what was happening around us.

I saw a child's sillouette pulling himself up from the remains of a tree who's upper half was now missing. He stumbled and floundered. I saw his mouth wide in screams of terror, but I could not hear. A shadowy silence rung in my ears. I refused to tear my eyes from this terrified child as a body clashed against me.

Suddenly my hearing buzzed as if I had a swarm of angry bee rattling in my ears. A familiar accent was dripping in terror and Alfie's cries and wails pierced through this thick debris hanging in the atmosphere.

"MEDIC! DOC!"

It was Alex Penkala. He had an unmistakable voice about him.

My heart thudded and pounded, and I believe for a moment my mind was in such great amounts of suffering, I forgot to breathe.

"Alfie is out there, Joe! Oh my God!" I violently shook Toye's back and grasped his uniform in panic.

Joe gave me a hard look and then cupped his hands around his mouth. "Alfred! C'mere, boy!" Joe Toye's raspy voice broke the final barrier of my temporary deafness. This had happened in Carentan as well. "Alfie, come to me!"

Spina was thrown against the side of the foxhole that was blown even larger. His eyes were closed, but his lips still were filled with life.

I scrambled from the harsh edge of our foxhole and held my arms stretched out.

"Are you fucking crazy, Loretta!?" Toye screamed, waving his hand out in hopes to grab my trousers.

Love, especially for a child, makes you do wild things.

My child began to run in uneven lines, still screaming with a raw voice. It was the most god-awful screech I have ever heard. When he gasped for another breath of air, he would splutter and choke on the debris. Alfie removed it from my throat by screaming more.

"MEDIC! OVER HERE!"

_Lord, please deliver Eugene to Penkala._

I was lost in the heavy air of the warzone. My only means of locating my son was with feel and listening. My eyes were forced shut as splinters and rocks rained down on my face.

I gave a call, but he could not hear me over his own desperate screaming.

Finally I felt his dirty head of hair in my handhold. I grabbed his shoulders and began dashing towards the direction of the foxhole. The debris had lightened up slightly, but still I held my arm over my brows for protection.

He coughed and spluttered and struggled against the force of my hands. The massive impact of the mortars still rumbled the earth.

"JOE!" I screamed, my voice hoarse.

"Cowgirl!" Toye waved his arms violently, "Over here!"

The toe of my boots guided us towards the edge of the hole. Penk's cries still burning holes in my heart, I shoved a hysterical Alfie into Joe's arms.

"I'll be back, baby." I struggled to breathe. "Stay here with Joey, okay?"

I slapped my helmet on my head and quickly scooped up my bag that was resting on the rim of the foxhole.

"Lottie!" He wailed, thrashing around in Joe's string hold. "LOTTIE COME BACK! MOMMA DON'T LEAVE ME!"

With his final words, the ground beneath my throbbing feet became nonexistent. Like puzzle pieces, the earth scattered around my doubled-up boots. I panted against the deep drifts of snow. The tread on my boots was warn down and a struggled as I slipped.

"Momma! Momma! Medic! Momma!"

A shell landed to my right, knocking me off my feet. I was forced against a tree with a thick, knotty trunk. I heard a snap in my chest, and I suddenly felt sick to my stomach.

Seconds past and the adrenaline coursing in my veins put a stopper to the pain.

I wound through rows of trees, jumped over foxholes filled with terrified men. Agonizing moments later, I came to Penkala's foxhole. Gene was hovering over him, pouring a packet of sulfur power on his forearm.

"Hit the goddamn artery!"

Gene was seering, "Right it did, Penk!"

Bull had his rifle aimed directly at me. A pain shot through my head, a harsh memory of the nightmares. I wasn't aware that Denver was sharing a foxhole with Alex.

"Boone!" Bull cried, his blue eyes looking me up an down. He began to stand up to hold me up. "You look like you're about to collapse!"

"Bull, stay down. The bombarge isn't over yet."

Eugene tied the gray Kraut bandage tightly on Penk's lower arm and shot me a nasty look. I stumbled over to the edge of the foxhole and slid down a ways.

"Brave, where there hell were you?"

I tripped on my own words, my teeth chattering and my lungs burning as though I had swallowed acid. "Alfie, was lost in the firing… I went after him."

Bull actually sprung up this time and hurried to my side, "Jesus Christ, is he alright."

I panted, trying desperately to regain a proper heartbeat, "He's with Toye."

_Momma_ he cried in my mind over and over. I finally broke down and tears began to freeze on my eyelashes before they could fall. "He called me momma, Denver."

"Boone babe, c'mere." Bull beckoned sorrowfully.

He cupped his mammoth hands around the back of my head and pulled my into his large chest. My throat burned with lodged debris and the rock there made matters worse. I mumbled Alfie's name and sobbed into Denver's chest. "We have to get him to the states. H-he can't be here." I pounded my balled fists into his chest, "I never should have taken him, goddamn it!"

Bull cooed into my hair and gave my body a tight squeeze.

"Ow," I cried, wincing into his chest.

He held me at arms length, "Did I hurt you?"

I gently shook my head, trying to loosen the frozen tears locked onto my face. The pain had brought a new series of tears to my eyes. I turned to look at Gene who silently watched Bull hold me. The bombardment was finally finished, at least for the time being.

"Gene… I think I fractured a rib." I croaked, my voice still not strong.

With wide, concerned eyes, Gene walked over to wear I was huddled. He placed a hand on my back and leaned down to look me in the eyes.

Bull stood up, "I can carry you, Boone."

"No, you need to hold the line babe," I said, taking authority.

Gene pushed on, "We need to get back to the medic's foxhole before the next bombing."

Bull shot a glance of warning and a hint of jealousy at Eugene who held me close. My ankle was also throbbing and screaming in pain, now that I had weight placed on it.

"Love you, Bull." I blew him a warm kiss against the cold. "I'll be okay. Us medics heal faster… promise."

Denver gave me a weak smile and returned his hands to his rifle. I leaned heavily on Eugene who guided me carefully around drifts, holes and trees. It was extremely quiet, and all that was heard was a round popping here and there and my labored breathing.

This pain that was in my side and around my ankle was completely different from a bullet wound. It didn't burn like the hot metal of a bullet. I felt as if I had just taken a bad fall from a horse.

"He called me momma, Gene," I sniffled into his shoulder as he drug me around.

Eugene did not reply- his mind was focused on getting me to safety.

I was in a lot of pain, but I knew first hand we were so low on morphine that it was out of my mind to use it. Finally we reached our foxhole, and Spina was gazing on with an awestruck expression. Toye was still clutching a hysterical Alfred in his arms.

"Alfie, momma's here…" I croaked, sliding down the steep incline of the foxhole with Gene's help.

He wailed and threw himself onto me, his knee colliding with my freshly fractured rib. If it was just a hairline fracture, it sure as hell wasn't anymore. But I really didn't care, because my child was in my arms and he was alive.

"Jesus Christ," Joe stood up, brushing debris from his front. "All I wanted to do was take a piss."

I pushed Alfie higher onto my shoulder, "Thank you, Joe. I mean it."

He smirked, "Do I deserve a kiss on the cheek for my worries? I have to share a foxhole with OneLung McKlung for Christ's sake."

"Of course," I said, motioning him down seeing as I couldn't move. I pecked Joe's scruffy cheek quickly and felt myself blush. I hadn't even kissed Bull goodbye earlier. "Thank you again."

"Bull is one lucky man!" Joe sang as he sauntered away. I chuckled to myself, hoping to calm Alfie down. I was traumatized from the bombardment, let alone his little soul. His heart was still beating faster than a hummingbird's, and I faintly felt it against mine.

Eugene and Spina watched me rocking him up and down. They were both exhausted. Dark circles loomed under their eyes and their noses were pink against the cold.

I began to hum a lullaby into his dirty hair. Soon his breathing relaxed into that of a slumber.

"C'mere, one of you," I waved and pointed to the bare ground beside me.

Eugene crawled across the perimeter of the foxhole. Spina was still in a daze from the shelling.

I held one hand on Alfie's head and the other on his upper back. Carefully and cautious as to not wake him up, I laid him down on our laps. He was still sleeping and I brushed away his long, shaggy blonde hair that peeked from the knit hat I had scrounged for him. Some strands of hair were frozen to his face. My heart ached. I had to get this boy to a safe place.

The night began to fall around us. "Gene," I whispered hoarsely. "He can't stay here. This can't happen to him again. It will ruin him, I'm sure." I fought with my emotions as to not cry. "I'm going to speak with Captain Nixon in the morning and see what we can arrange."

Eugene nodded silently in agreement.

"I need to take a look at your ankle and your side. It could be serious." He pressed, being a worrier like he always is.

I shook my head, "I'm fine. It doesn't hurt right now, so don't worry."

Gene pressed his head against the wall of soil and drew out a lengthy sigh. I looked forward at Speen…my lullaby had lulled him to sleep as well. I felt a small smile tug at my lips as I watched Ralph. Suddenly my hand felt colder than before, and I looked down to see Eugene's long, bony fingers holding mine. His other hand was holding Alfie's. Knowingly, I took Alfie's other hand and bowed by head against my chest.

Eugene's Cajun accent rattled in his chest and fought the cold. "Lord, grant that I shall never seek so much to be consoled as to console. To be understood as to understand, or to be loved, as to love, with all my heart…with all my heart."

I gave both of their hands a squeeze and breathed out an 'amen'.

Feeling my eyes grow heavy listening to the slow, easy breathing of Speen and Alfie, I rested my head on Eugene's shoulder. It was bony and uncomfortable, but a medic takes advantage of every opportunity to rest.

Caving in before I dozed off, Gene lay his head against mine and we all fell into an uneasy sleep in the bottom of a frozen foxhole.

**Please be sure to drop a review if you find the time!**

**Thank you to ChocAndSnow19 for your ever-lovely reviews! And as always to Camilla! Congrats on being a 9****th**** grader now! :)**


	26. Rumors of Perfidia

**Sorry this is late. I've had it done for awhile, but my internet was being dumb so I couldn't upload. I've already got most of the next chapter done! Yay!**

"_When it was dark, now there's light_

_Where that was pain, now there's joy_

_Where there was weakness, I found my strength_

_All in the eyes of a boy…"_

**Rumors of Perfidia**

I awoke with a groan, a deep pain stabbing at my side. Before I could snap my eyes open, I felt an unusual warmth on top of me.

Slowly I cracked my still droopy eyes against the blinding white extreme of the snow. There was a fine blanket of snow covering my lap and the empty, black foxhole supporting me. Alfie was sound asleep on my shoulder with his arms wrapped around my neck. I held my legs crossed to keep weight off my ankle.

Spina and Eugene were nowhere to be found. I felt a ping of fear… the white forest made me feel isolated. Even though I had a child hanging off of me, it worried me that I couldn't hear or see any of the men.

Did they forget us? Why would they leave us? No, Easy would never do a thing like that to me. I shook my head, shrugging the unpleasant feeling of abandonment off of my shoulders. This war was a nightmare that constantly ate away at me.

"Alfie," I shook his small back. "Alfie can you wake up for me?"

"Huh?" he mumbled, squirming and stretching.

I gently pushed back his shoulders, "Honey, I have to get up."

He looked at me, sleep lining his facial features. He seemed as confused as I was when I woke up.

"Do you want to come see Winters and Lewis with me?" I mustered a smile. I still needed to have a conversation with Nixon.

"Momma…" he breathed, steam escaping his small, drawled up mouth. "I don't want to go out there."

He was ruined. "Baby," I smiled, it even more difficult now. "I'll protect you, alright? Nothing like that will ever happen again to you."

I grasped his hand tightly and pulled myself up. Alfie quickly wrapped his arms around my leg. He happened to choose my bad leg. The pain in my ankle had spread in the night and now engulfed my entire lower leg. I climbed out, wincing with every step. He stood on my boot like he always did. I wasn't sure if he was growing and weighed more, or that my ankle was severely sprained, but I hadn't felt a pain like that since D-Day. My heart overthrew my body, because I didn't care how much it hurt, I would do anything to have this boy safe. I knew this especially if he did leave me and go back to the states. I knew he wouldn't be there, and that would shatter my heart, but it didn't matter.

Snow clung to the long needles of the trees. It had snowed a fair amount in the night, adding to the deep amounts on the ground. My foot crunched through the layer that had froze in the night. The jagged edges of the ice cut through even my boots, hurting my ankle even more.

_Just a ways further._

Finally the officer's tent was in view. A thick layer of snow was being brushed away by a man I recognized as Lewis Nixon. Nix had a broad set of shoulders and a neat, small waist. His head sat proudly on his shoulders with a dark head of hair. He was handsome, despite his addiction.

Winters was jabbing his bayonet blade into a frozen container of water. As an organized man, he had his shaving supplies neatly set out on a cloth. Even in the dead of winter in Bastonge, Captain Winters still _had _to shave.

"Morning, Loretta!" Lewis cheerfully called, waiting for me with wide arms. I held one hand on top of Alfie's hair and I embraced Lew with the other.

"I do hope it is a good one, Lew."

He gave me a tight, understanding squeeze. The stinging smell of whiskey hung around his uniform and it made my stomach knot.

I couldn't swallow the 'ow' that forcibly jumped from my lips. Lew leaned back, "What's wrong?"

"Let's just say that trees are hard objects, Lew." I flashed him a quick wink, even though I was positive my rib had just broke through my skin.

Winters brushed white foam onto his pink cheeks, "What brings you this way, nurse? I already gave Doc Roe my morphine."

I chuckled, recalling the story of the shitting Kraut, "Just wanted to talk to my old friend, Lew, if that's alright?"

Nix's face lit up and he nudged me with his hands in his coat pockets, "I'm special, Dick."

"Oh, you're special alright," Richard replied, showing rare form.

I pried Alfred off of my leg and met his eyes, "Go see what Captain Winters is up to, won't you?" I gave him a gentle shove and he dashed over to sit on Winters' knee. He was such a fine child.

Dick looked up, a lather still on his face. I mouthed a 'thank you', and he seemed to understand.

"What's that? Are you trying to be Santa Clause?"

Winters laughed and began explaining the process of shaving. He almost made it sound like a religion.

My heart plummeted. Christmas was around the corner, and Santa Clause wouldn't be able to find a lost child in the Ardennes forest.

. Nix took my hand and raised his eyebrow to listen.

"I need to somehow get the boy to the US. It's too dangerous for him here…"

"You're just realizing this now?" he teased, squeezing my hand.

"Lew…" I warned. "Please."

John Julian practically stumbled into the officer's tent. He had dark hair, pleasant young features and a pink nose to match everybody else's. Julian was a replacement who was in the same foxhole as Babe Heffron.

"Yes, trooper?" Winters asked, not taking his eyes from Alfie.

"I, uh…" he faltered. "The uh, men, sir. They sent me to see if any new rations had come in."

Lewis turned his shoulders and gave Dick a look.

"As soon as they come, we'll let the men know. Dismissed."

Julian gave a half-ass salute and exited the frozen officer quarters. John gave me a puzzled look before disappearing into the blank trees.

"Anyway, Lew," I pushed forward, lowering my voice so Alfred couldn't hear. "He can't stay. Do you have any way to send him to the states?"

Lewis was lost, "Do you have any family left in Oklahoma, Lots?"

My eyes grew misty, "Everybody is dead. I have a good friend, John, back home. Could he keep Alfie until I get back?"

"How old is he?"

"1 quarter of a year older than me," I said, croaking. I remembered back to the fishing hole that we argued over. I remember Johnny thinking he had seniority over me. I was eight and he was nine. God, it seemed so long ago.

"It would be breaking more laws than we can count. You can't just take a boy from an English orphanage, take him into a war and expect to be able to send him to America."

Tears were boiling in my eyes by now. "Lew, I've already done two of three of those things. This _has to happen_."

He raked his fingers through his thick, black hair. "I'll work on it, Loretta. But there are no promises."

"Thank you," I said genuinely, swinging my around his neck. Lewis hugged me back careful not to snap my ribs.

"Alfie? Lets go…" I called, starting out of the tent. He did not immediately run and cling to my leg like I expected him to. I glanced over my shoulder to find him immersed in a story told my Papa Winters. Alfred was hanging on every word as Dick showed him his rifle.

Lewis pulled away his flask that was running low on Vat69 and gave a brilliant smile, "I'll make sure he gets back to you. Might be good for him to have a break."

The captain threw up his arms, "Probably good for Dick too, eh?"

Lew smiled at his best friend. "See you around, Lottie. Stay safe."

"Same goes for you, Lew. See ya." With a wave over my shoulder I made my way through the white forest, trying to keep my footsteps light. The line was spread so thin, I was careful to walk straight east. I know I should be the one making Alfie feel safe, but without him by my side I felt scared.

Quickening my pace, I came to a cluster of empty foxholes. There were no remnants of soldiers being here but faint footsteps going further east. The still falling snow was quickly covering the size 9 tracks. Everybody was size nine.

It occurred to me that these tracks were most likely Julian's, so I trusted where they leaded me. The only benefit to this damn snow was that it kept my sprained ankle iced up past my shins. Hopefully this would bring the swelling down so I could manage to take off my socks before trench foot set in. A medic's nightmare.

I heard they're chatter in the distance, muted only by the utter stillness in the trees. I held my footsteps light- they were whispering secretively about something.

Curious, I leaned heavily against a tree as my body was tired.

"I'm telling you guys, she's got her sights on everybody else _but_ Sergeant Randleman."

_She? I was the only 'she' in miles._

Malarkey sat up, guilt lining his freckled face, "That's just wishful thinking, boy. Everybody wants some of Loretta."

_They were talking about me._

"I love Lottie and all, but I think something is up. She kissed Joe Toye on the cheek last night." Spina ratted, shifting his weight as he sat on his haunches.

_He asked for a peck. Jesus, Speen._

Julian annoying added, "And I _just _saw her practically hanging off of Captain Nixon at the officer's quarters."

_What? I was just being friendly!_

"And she never seems to mind sleeping with Doc Roe, does she, Doc?" Babe chirped in, almost with a jealous tone.

Gene squirmed uncomfortably, "We're really close guys. I don't think she's one to fool around… she's got issues, you know."

_Issues? Thanks, Gene…_

I embraced the pine tree tighter, feeling my heart knot a million ways. The men I cared for so much were talking down on me.

"I wonder what Bull thinks. Must hurt like hell to see her rubbing up against Easy like a cat in heat." Skip chuckled at his own joke.

_Ouch, Skip._

"Guys, I don't think we should be talking about cowgirl like this. If she knew- she would be hurt." Malarkey defended me against the grain.

I took that as my cue to step in. _Steady heart… don't cry._

"Whatcha all talking about, boys?" I whistled, innocently walking over to their circle.

Babe Heffron sat up straight immediately after hearing my voice. "Well, I-I was just telling the guys about Hinkel."

"Since when is my name Hinkel?" I spat, standing my ground.

Their faces became paler than the white snow surrounding them. None of them had anything else to say.

"Why?" I struggled to keep from croaking. "Why would you _ever _conjure up the idea I love anybody but Bull?"

Some opened their mouths to reply, but the tears began falling before I let them speak. I turned on my heel and began running away in no particular direction. I didn't care if I ended up on the German line, I wanted to get away from these cruel men.

"Brave!" Gene called behind me, his accent laced with sorrow.

I balled my fists against the pain that tore at my ankle and side as I ran faster. I ran and ran until Kingdom came.

B.o.B.

Darkness swept and I crumbled down. My wet face hit the ice crystals and my head pounded.

Bull was angry at me, storming around in circles, pointing his pistol in my face at the mention of my name.

My back lurched in pain once I allowed it to relax. My hands left prints in the snow and I gave up for a moment, purely to know what it was like.

B.o.B

"Shit, Shift, what's that?" Hoobler hushed his comrade into a crouched position, "It's breathing…"

Donald waved the sniper on, their rifles pressed firmly on their shoulders. They cautiously neared the heaping pile of human.

"Holy shit, its cowgirl." Don gasped, falling on his knees.

"Loretta?" Shifty asked with urgency thick in his voice. He guided his hand over her face to feel her breathing. "What in God's good name is she doing out here…alone?" The Virginia native looked up at Hoobler, whose round face was wrinkled in concern.

"Cowgirl?" He took her hand, his rifle thrown in a snow drift.

Her tired eyes didn't flicker to life. The smile from her broken lips was absent and her chest rose and fell with nothing but an ounce of life. She was giving giving up a go and it sucked away her light.

"She needs to get back so Doc can take care of her." Shifty noted, taking one of Loretta's limp arms and wrapping it around his neck. Hoobs followed Shift's example and they brought her up. "Why is she out here…alone?"

"I don't know, but it worries me, Shift."

Her dead weight wasn't even comparable to a male soldier's.

"Shift, I can carry her. Here," he handed Darrel his M1. Shifty almost unwillingly handed her over. Donald easily swung her up into his arms. Shifty kindly unwound his scarf from his neck and tenderly tucked it around her pale, lifeless face.

"Please be alright, cowgirl. We need you," Shifty nearly croaked, walking through the forest with Hoobler by his side.

Loretta's boots swung loosely with each heavy stride through snowdrifts. Hoobler thought he felt her move and Shifty wishfully thought he noticed her lips twitch.

Giving up wasn't a good taste to have, but Loretta held it longer as she remembered their cruel, false words.

B.o.B.

"MEDIC! We need a medic over here!" Hoobler panted and he held me tighter than before. The sound no field medic wanted to hear sounded awfully strange without being under fire. It echoed through the trees and turned heads.

"Doc, Doc!" Shifty called and I heard the familiar thud of Gene's bag hitting his thigh. "We found cowgirl out away off from the line-"

"Jesus Christ," Eugene spat, and I felt the heat of his body move closer to mine. Severe darkness still enveloped me, and no light crept through my eyelids. I only felt the slow, rhythmic beat of my heart. I did not feel my limbs, and for once I wasn't cold.

"Oh my God, what's wrong with Loretta?" Babe Heffron cut through the snow drift behind us. Guilt was coursing through every syllable of his words.

Don was still holding me close, and I could smell his unique scent. Every man in Easy had a different smell about them. It wasn't cologne, but the humanly odor that could easily be distinguished from another.

"What happened? Why is she like this?"

Gene buzzed around Hoobler and I, barking orders at nobody in particular. "Those men… they fucking cut her last string. She can't take anymore and _Heffron _goes telling everybody that she is having an affair with the captain." He wrapped blankets of pure wool around my legs. "They've done her in…" Gene whipped around to make dead eye contact with Julian and Babe. "After all this woman has done fo this company."

"I'm so sorry…" John murmured, words crinkled in remorse.

"Loretta?" Malarkey came next. "What happened? She get hit?"

Gene didn't reply, but instead cut away at my boot laces. My ankle and lower leg had swelled so much he wasn't able to manage to get my boot off. It did not hurt as he moved it around. A feel of rigor had locked it up and I still waited in darkness.

I faintly heard a sob in the distance, but it arrived with panting and tearless cries.

"Momma? Wake up… you're alright. C'mon…" Alfie begged. He shook my arm and pressed his forehead into my Airborne patch. "Momma, wake up. I miss you."

I flickered to life like a light bulb that had a little, but enough life left. My eyes bolted open and I was shocked by the white that flooded my vision. I felt the pain in my side, the gnawing in my knees and the searing in my ankle. I let out a groan and rolled tighter into Don's chest.

"Doc…" he said in almost a whisper. I folded out my arm to feel for Alfred's small face. "She's awake."

Eugene seemed like he expected it. He spoke like he still had hope I would pull through. "Good…still hold her still. I need to splint this ankle before she's too awake."

"Too stubborn to let you do it regardless?" I heard Shifty say through a relieved smile.

"Yes," Gene replied with a sense of irritability, but a smirk at the truth.

I squirmed in protest, "Hey now…"

"Lottie!" Alfie cried and took my hand that was hanging miserably at my side. My skin was so rough and calloused in comparison to his young skin. I wanted to give him a life where the calluses would not be from abuse, but from playing outside like a free child should.

Finally able to open my eyes fully against the wincing, I saw two sets of fiery red hair hovering above me. Their eyes were pressed into shapes of regret and sorrow.

"Loretta…" Babe breathed, taking his hands from his pockets.

Malarkey looked like tears, "We're sorry for what you heard us say. We really feel awful."

I shut my eyes back up again and pressed my face into Don's chest once again. I didn't feel much like accepting apologies. I didn't feel like thinking of the nightmares. I didn't want to think about my father and his abuse. I didn't feel like trying to live.

Alfred was the only reason I still made an attempt to fill my lungs with air.

"Should we get Bull?" Julian suggested.

"…or maybe Toye or Nixon?" I croaked, but tried to hold my voice steady. Though my voice faltered, the impact of the words were still strong. They left to get Denver, their tails between their legs.

"Set her down on that tarp, Private. I need to wrap up that broken rib."

"Shit," Hoobler said in amazement as he took me over. "She has a broken rib, too?"

I pulled Alfie along with us, never taking my hand from his.

Gene hovered over me protectively as he unbuttoned my olive shirt. Hoobler tried to distract Alfie with a dramatic tale about how good of a shot he was. Hoobler didn't want a family or a purple heart; he just wanted to be known as a good shot.

"You're lucky you didn't puncture your lungs, Brave." He began wrapping thick layers of bandages around my rib cage. "It's really bad. Hopefully it will mend on it's own."

I was more thankful for Gene's skilled fingers than for my luck. The last thing I needed was to be exposed before everybody. He quickly buttoned up my shirt and bundled me back up due to my limited mobility.

"How does everything feel? Do you want some morphine?"

I pushed away the brown box. "Nah, keep it for somebody else. I think I have a box in my bag if I _really _need it. Say, where is my bag?"

"In our foxhole. Do you want it?"

"Yes please, I feel weird without it." I chuckled lightly but it was more of a cough.

"WHERE IS SHE?!" I gasped at the massive boom of Bull's voice. "Boone! Why the hell isn't anybody taking care of her?"

He dashed to my side and took my face and looked like tears. Gene was getting my bag and Hoobler was with Alfie.

"Babe, relax. I'm in good hands. Everything is fine!"

He panted, "You don't look fine! Jesus, Boone… what happened?"

"Gee thanks for the compliment, Bull."

My small joke blew right over his head and he fussed around me. "She needs to go to the Aid Station!"

"Babe, there is no Aid Station. I'm really fine."

The night was falling.

"I want to take her with me, Doc." Bull abruptly demanded as he scooped me up. "Penk and I's foxhole is one of the ones further off from the line. She'll be safe there with me."

Gene shifted his weight, "How is Penkala's arm, by the way?"

Bull drew me closer, "He's getting along fine, but needs a change of bandages."

"I'll come around later to do that and check on our nurse," Gene said with a smile, knowing I wasn't fond of the word 'nurse'. I preferred 'medic'.

"May I take her?" Bull asked anxiously.

Through cracked eyes I saw Gene give a gentle shake of his head in agreement. At that Bull practically began running north towards his hole.

"Alfie…" I whispered, flailing my arms around.

Bull let out a breath of air, "Alfred! Come on now, boy!"

Like a bullet from a magazine, Alfie darted from Spina, Gene and I's foxhole and wrapped himself around Bull's leg.

I wasn't fond of journalists from back home, trying to make war seem so cinematic. But if I wanted any picture taken for the cover of LIFE, I would want Bull carrying me through the Ardennes forest with our child latched to his leg. A family portrait of sorts, in the middle of a frozen war.

B.o.B.

"How are you feeling, babe?" Bull worriedly asked once he returned from his patrol shift.

"I'm feeling and living…and that's what matters." I mustered a faint smile as he slid down the foxhole wall. He was careful not to wake Alfred and Penk who were both leaning against each other in a slumber.

"The boys gave this to me for you. They told me to tell you 'sorry' about a million times." Denver settled to my left and kicked out a heavy wool blanket. He tucked the one Gene had offered earlier around my legs before wrapping me up in the fresh one.

Finally once I was all settled and tucked in to Bull's satisfaction, he broke the silence. "Why did this all happen?"

I sighed heavily, "I caught the men talking about how I'm having an affair with Nixon and Toye and the other men."

"What?!" Bull yelled, nearly waking up Alex and Alfie.

I held a shaking finger over my shivering lips, "Shhh. It's not true… that's why I'm like this. It really upset me they would even think of that."

"Pisses me off too!"

"Well, whatever. They're sorry and it's over."

There was a long pause.

"I _am_ the only one you love, right?" Bull asked carefully, like I was about to hit him.

"I love every single one of these men." I whispered and sat up. My protesting ribs were bound together so it wasn't as painful. I placed a deep kiss on Denver's lips and fell back. "But you've got my heart, Denver."

He smiled and fell back against the foxhole wall. Bull lifted me gently onto his lap and tucked my head into the crook of his neck as I did to him in the barn in Nuenen. I tucked my arms into his chest and nestled in as far as I could. My legs were stiff with pain, but I felt a warmth grow everywhere on me. Bull reached down and placed a pleasant kiss on my neck and traced my rounded jaw line with more kisses.

"I love you, Boone."

I practically purred, as he moved his hands along my battered body. "And I you."

**Thank you so much for reading- reviews and feedback are what keep me going!**


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